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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbour heard everything!

165 replies

Soembarrassedd · 11/11/2025 12:30

So I have been divorced a year and have been talking to a guy for a good while (we have met a few times prior to this) anyway, we ended up back to my house one night and my neighbour heard the whole thing. To the point where she knocked on the wall. I want to die of embarrassment, I saw her the other morning and she usually says hi, nothing, I think she now hates me.

OP posts:
Starlight7080 · 11/11/2025 19:55

I would just move on. She probably wont start talking to you again for a while.
If a bed was repeatedly banging on my wall I would be angry.

Plinkyplankplonk · 11/11/2025 19:46

Mine hears me most nights 😂 she never knocks though, I imagine its just as embarrassing for the neighbour when they see you

ThatChristmasMug · 11/11/2025 19:44

AntitheticalDreamgirl · 11/11/2025 19:41

I hear my neighbour going at it solo nearly every night, around the same time of night. I'm sure she hears us on a regular basis too. Neither of us say a word to each other thankfully 😅 it's a natural thing adults do so your neighbour needs to grow up

I am all for a healthy and lively sex life, but it's very strange to even want to be noisy in a room with a shared wall, when you know the neighbours will hear you.

It's quite grim actually.

ThatChristmasMug · 11/11/2025 19:42

LlynTegid · 11/11/2025 19:27

It was the wrong response. You are supposed to make fake noises not quite in time, or applaud at the end.

cheer during and applaud at the end

100% 😂

AntitheticalDreamgirl · 11/11/2025 19:41

I hear my neighbour going at it solo nearly every night, around the same time of night. I'm sure she hears us on a regular basis too. Neither of us say a word to each other thankfully 😅 it's a natural thing adults do so your neighbour needs to grow up

LlynTegid · 11/11/2025 19:27

It was the wrong response. You are supposed to make fake noises not quite in time, or applaud at the end.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 11/11/2025 19:16

I knew someone who lived on the ground floor. Guy upstairs from her had a word because the guy ABOVE HIM, second floor, had complained about sex noises. Now THAT is embarrassing.

catsarenumber1 · 11/11/2025 19:12

Sounds like your neighbour's problem, not yours!

HildegardP · 11/11/2025 19:06

As someone who can hear my neighbour's every fart, she's probably blanking you because she's mortified with embarrassment. I know I stopped meeting my neighbour's gaze after her gentleman caller started calling, it was entirely TMI.

JillMW · 11/11/2025 18:55

Soembarrassedd · 11/11/2025 17:22

My children were at their dads at the time and I just feel like such a bad person like she thinks I’m a bad mum because of it

I think you are projecting your anxiety, embarrassment, guilt onto your neighbour. I should think she quickly got over it! She is very unlikely to be judging you as a mother. Or she could be mortified that she knocked, embarrassed she heard and that is why she can’t look you in the face. Try not to dwell x

Original poster
Soembarrassedd · 11/11/2025 18:52

Fountofwisdom · 11/11/2025 18:48

Totally agree. It’s attention-seeking and selfish behaviour.

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I was not moaning, it was the bed

OP posts:
JillMW · 11/11/2025 18:51

Missj25 · 11/11/2025 16:48

Can you not just approach her & say “ look I’m very embarrassed about the last night , I would just like to say sorry , I know you have kids & I’d hate if you were out with me over it “ , leave it like that, anyone worth bothering with will accept apology .

Yes! It might be that she was killing a spider, nothing to do with you! And looks are usually wrongly interpreted. Whatever, she has kids, they got here from her having sex so I think it is unlikely she is holding it against you! Move on

MadinMarch · 11/11/2025 18:50

Soembarrassedd · 11/11/2025 12:37

It was the look she gave me, I felt so rubbish

Maybe she's jealous?
Don't let it get to you, just smile inanely when you see her, with a little tinkly laugh too if you can fit it in as you pass her.

Fountofwisdom · 11/11/2025 18:48

BatchCookBabe · 11/11/2025 18:04

Yeah this. ^ No-one wants to hear your moans and groans and whining while you're having sex @Soembarrassedd 🙄

I always think people are trying to prove something when they're noisy having sex. It's almost always the woman too. Rarely the man howling. Yeah we get it babe, you're shagging. Big deal, almost everyone has done it luv. Wink

Be more quiet. No-one cares that you're shagging, it's just the attention-seeking 'hey look everyone I'm having a shag' screaming and wailing that people don't want to hear. It is NOT 'envy!' 🙄

I find it pathetic personally.

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Totally agree. It’s attention-seeking and selfish behaviour.

Fountofwisdom · 11/11/2025 18:45

Soembarrassedd · 11/11/2025 13:12

I completely understand that and I do feel bad about it. I haven’t done it since. She does have children and I understand why she may have been annoyed

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Do you live in a flat? It would really piss me off if I could hear someone having loud sex when there are children overhearing it.

Absolutely no need for loud sex that can be heard in another property; it’s performative and inconsiderate.

AliceMaforethought · 11/11/2025 18:42

Bluecrystal2 · 11/11/2025 14:36

Don't worry, it will blow over.

I heard my neighbour's best friend banging her husband when she was in hospital.

Some friend! How awful.

AliceMaforethought · 11/11/2025 18:41

LeavesTrees · 11/11/2025 12:58

I suppose it depends what she heard and also if she has kids who also may have heard it.

My next door neighbours used to have noisy sex in the garden when they first moved in - the elderly neighbour the other side of them soon put a stop to that!

While it’s great for you, it’s often not very nice to hear it.

There's a huge difference between public indecency (which is what having sex in a garden amounts to, unless you have extensive private grounds) and someone having sex in their own house. I think that the neighbour needs to unclench. And I hate the 'what about the chiiiiildren' argument, as well.

Squirrelmirrel · 11/11/2025 18:37

It kind of depends what the noise was, just moans and screams is one thing, but certain obscenities might be another. There is such a large range of what sex noises could mean.
Personally I think it's gross that someone would make so much noise knowing they have a neighbour sleeping on the other side of the wall. I'm not surprised you're mortified but it sounds like you've learnt your lesson. Hopefully it blows over!

fivebyfivefaith · 11/11/2025 18:35

It happens. My neighbour was outside at 10am doing some gardening, I got out a taxi, fell over drunk with last nights clothes and one shoe on
he laughed a lot and helped me up and hasn’t mentioned it since

shhblackbag · 11/11/2025 18:31

No one wants to hear the neighbours have sex. Cringe.

Bite a pillow or something.

Lightswitchy · 11/11/2025 18:28

Get it

Hollybobs1 · 11/11/2025 18:26

Ignore her, she's probably jealous 😂

SoftBalletShoes · 11/11/2025 18:15

FeliciaFancybottom · 11/11/2025 18:14

Were you screaming like a banshee, heralding an impending death?

Lol!

FeliciaFancybottom · 11/11/2025 18:14

Were you screaming like a banshee, heralding an impending death?

SoftBalletShoes · 11/11/2025 18:14

BatchCookBabe · 11/11/2025 18:06

Exactly! People saying the woman/neighbour is jealous, sound about 14.

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Do they? Most people want sex that is actually good for them, and most people aren't getting it! I can see how someone might be jealous - not necessarily this neighbour, who might just be fed up, but I think jealousy of a good sex life is a pretty logical conclusion, given how uncommon it is!