Friend and her jokes at my expense

Presumably she know this about you so deliberately tries to wind you up? Juvenile.

She's puerile. She's not going to get any better at this stage so I'd just pull away - or next time just tell her that you're fed-up of her juvenile shite and she can piss off.

Now that wouldn't bother me at all 🤷‍♀️

Depends how she’s doing it.
is it part of a ‘jokey’ relationship you have? Me and my close friends have quite a bit of banter and insults at each other - although one went a bit OTT at one point so I told her that particular one upset me and she hasn’t said it again.
You def need to talk to this friend and say you’re not comfortable with this type of humour.
i think saying ‘you’ll be driving in wellies’ isn’t rude - might not be hilarious but it’s no insulting or mean.

Every time she says something like that, I'd be tempted to say:

"I'm sorry can you say that again, I'm not sure I heard you right" or

"I don't understand, can you explain what you mean"

and if she says "Ha, never mind it was just a joke, where's your sense of humour", I'd be replying

"Oh, but I didn't get it, can you say it again for me".

Forcing people like that to explain themselves, particularly in front of others isn't something they usually enjoy doing and may make her think twice about doing it again.

Or, you could just own it and say:

"Maybe, but I like it - do you want to try some" or

"You've mentioned I'm short/ginger so many times now, I think you must be a bit jealous" etc.

I'd also be wondering what kind of friend she was - but that is a whole other thread!

She is not a friend. The wellies thing I might be a bit meh but mocking things you literally cannot change is not friend behaviour, they are supposed to be the ones lifting you and being your cheerleader. You don’t have to be friends with someone like this.

Is she Australian? A lot of Aussies do this and I struggled with this kind of humour when I was living there. I realise it can be intended as affectionate, but I was also teased for being short and for a slightly crooked front tooth (called ‘fang’- I later had my teeth straightened). It just didn’t feel funny and made me feel rubbish but it was very common!

It sounds like she's just rude. As those things aren't funny. How would she feel if you mocked something about her appearance that she had no means of ever changing?

Op you seem to be on tenterhooks every time she opens her mouth.The wellies whilst driving is clearly a joke.
Mocking your DV abuse is not a laughing matter.

She doesn't think you stink. She's making a joke about you using three variations of the same novelty flavoured toiletry.

I've had some car problems with water coming in because of all the rain and when I told her she said you'll have to drive in wellies

...because you've got water in your car? What is it that's upsetting you about this?

You seem either extremely insecure, or you're actively looking for things to get offended about.

Her jokes sound rubbish - if you don't like them, tell her.

Just to clarify OP, my husband is ginger and people make jokes about it pretty much non stop. Not sure where you got the idea that that was unacceptable because everyone does it at work, at personal events, it’s pretty constant.

She's an insecure bint, you don't have to be friends with her you know. You're an adult, you can ditch people like this now, don't waste the precious life you have hanging around with arseholes who need to tear other people down to feel good about themselves.

(Also I bet you smell amazing, that bonfire toffee stuff is wonderful!)

Does she do it with other people? I’m guessing that’s the full extent of her humour, not very imaginative.

Exactly this . Many jokers and Mickey takers don’t like the same being done to them.

You need to weigh up if her 'jokes' are worth being her friend.

5,1 and smell of toffee you sound perfect👍😁
Your friend isn't a friend knowingly upsetting you time to say ta ta 🙋

OP, she doesn't genuinely think you stink. What she said was a joke - it's just a crap joke that isn't funny. And if you're sensitive about your height / hair colour or whatever, then obviously she shouldn't joke about it.

You don't sound well-matched as friends at all. If you were both people who ribbed each other about things and took the piss, it would be fine - but you clearly aren't comfortable with the dynamic, and she dismisses that instead of respecting your differences in approach.

My friends and I do joke around with each other - we all have very different styles/looks and different personalities and we all joke about each other's quirks. For instance, it's a running joke that I pretty much always wear black, and that one of my friends is obsessed with trainers. But it's all very affectionate and we all laugh. It would be different if anyone was actually hurt by it, and if they were, we wouldn't do it (or, more likely, we wouldn't have become friends in the first place).

No doubt if you did it to her she would take offence. People like this are usually desperately insecure. She is not your friend she is a nasty bitch.

They aren't jokes.

They are unpleasant jibes at people by someone with a massive chip on their shoulder who feels the need to belittle other people to boost her own feelings of self worth.

I wouldn't call someone who continually tried to ridicule me a friend.

If she accuses you of anything like humour fail, just repeat the question and if she insists on avoiding it, it's time to start avoiding her as she is obviously still 13 in her mind.