RSVP to my 4 year old’s party told me they’re bringing 2yr old sibling

When dd was little I noticed parents bringing siblings to parties we had been invited too even when the invite said no siblings.
So when I did parties for dd I would invite siblings along.
One year I think 8th birthday we had a party and could only invite 10 has dd was set on having a cake decorating party at her favourite cake shop.
She only invited friends that didn't have sibling because she knew her friends with sibling wouldn't come without their siblings.

I have 4 children and this has happened a lot over the years! So I always make small party bags such as a nice dressed up bag of sweets and have about 5 spare. If extras don’t turn up then my kids shared them. Some peoples husbands work on the weekends or are doing something with another child or working away so I do think childcare can be an issue. I would say it was about 50/50 people would check. The only one I was miffed at was when someone turned up with their kid and their siblings and then left them all for the 2 hour party! That’s rude! As long as someone is supervising I think it’s ok. Saying that if space is an issue that can be difficult and either way I sympathise as you will worry about extra food etc. it’s nice to be asked but I wouldn’t be surprised if a couple more turn up with siblings too. I’ve loved parties but also loved when the 2 hours was over!!

Suck it up it’s a 2 year old

I’d say she could bring if it’s a personal friend, but next year be more precise in your invite.

That’s very cheeky and I think would have been appropriate to say, “please explain ahead of time to big brother he won’t be able to use the bouncy castle since it’s a party aimed at 3&4 year olds so will be too dangerous.”

Shitplopping, absolutely love this!! It does certainly make them CF's.

It'll be nice for your son to have someone to play with - maybe the mum can supervise the two little ones playing while the older kids do party games or if they get bored at the table

Two-year-olds take up hardly any space, to be fair.

Could you not let her drop her dd off, parties at home are generally drop off as there isn’t generally room for an adult per child as well?

I told people to bring along the siblings at my 3 year oldest party. I said of course bring along the rest of them. There were at least 2 families with 3children, One with 4. And of course I didn't let them starve. If your doing a party for this age group where a parent has to stay I would just totally expect,/not mind of they had to bring the siblings.

I would contact friends. Apologise that due to space no siblings have been invited. Of course you could soften it by saying if any of the invitees can't come you will contact her as that would free up space. Good luck.

That’s lucky for you can you afford that or have space for that. How do you suggest parents pay for all of these siblings to come to parties? Say an entertainer can cater for 20 children, why should that be 10 friends and 10 siblings rather than 20 friends for the birthday child? Why should an invited child be short of a seat for food or a party bag due to an uninvited sibling? This has happened- my DH had to remind parents to remove uninvited siblings from our party room at soft play- several guests who were very close friends of my son couldn’t sit down! We were not impressed.

People have lost all sight of the friendship in question being those between the birthday child and their actual school friends who are in their own class. I’m an adult, it’s no reflection on my own friendship with any other parent, the invite is child to child. I’m mature enough to get that x child inviting x one of my children is between the children, absolutely nothing to do with my other child or my friendships within that family in a school context.

Why should the birthday child have a load of older and younger children who are not in their class turn up? Genuinely think back to when we were children- nobody did this. I’d have thought it was utterly bizarre if younger siblings who were friends with my younger brother turned up at one of my parties. Likewise none of mine turned up at his.

Yeah remember a friend of my mums picking me up with her own kids from infant school. No one thought anything of it . Plenty of parents, aunties etc looked after kids without needing to be professionally train

Parents arent trained in childcare to look after their own kids

I’d just roll with it. It’ll be madness but kids parties always are 🤷🏽‍♀️.

Would she actually say no? Have you read the replies on here? Yes. People would absolutely tell her no and they're happy with her not coming at all if she has no child care.

Personally at our party I made sure to invite siblings we knew (so in class with older child, friends kids) and I think the unreasonable thing here is OP not inviting the 2 year old when she talks about how much she loves and values her friend.
But yeah, they're are genuinely people out there who's rather lose the friendship than squeeE in a preschh

Why do you need to say no siblings

the child same age is invited

the name on the invite is invited

As she’s your friend rather than a school mum you hardly know, she probably thinks that it’s no big deal. Do you know her situation and think the childcare issue is genuine?

I don’t ageee with society’s assumption that ‘professionals’ are automatically better at settling children, looking after children, etc. Many don’t even have children, parents all have round the clock experience. It’s breeding distrust of parents which is not 99% of the time warranted.

My 4 year old is collected from school by her friends mum, taken to the park by her and her house for a play. She’s been dropped off at a pre-school party at someone’s house, zero issues. She would actually find it stifling to have me hovering about, she’s been brought up to trust herself, have confidence and independence to try new things in social situations. Children really lack resilience today due to their capabilities being under-estimated. I used to be trusted as a child to play outside with friends after school aged 6, and walk to the shops to spend pocket money at the weekend from 7. Will definitely be doing the same with mine, and so glad I wasn’t a child now- I’d feel suffocated!

I think you have to expect this to a certain extent. It would have been more polite for her to ask if she can bring the sibling, but would you really have said no? If you really don't want siblings you have to say at the outset but it might mean people can't come.
If parents have to stay, which at 4 they kind of do, you'll get the occasional sibling. It's not that big a deal. It would be so rude to turn round and tell her there's no space, if she's a good friend.

I'd just get rid of the dinning table to remove the issue of there not being enough seats, get creative with the seating or non-seating, and be super pleased that so many people would be there to join celebrating my DC's BD :)

You could reply saying you are really sorry but there just isn't space in home for siblings to join in and that you forgot to say so on the invitation. Hoping that Dilly can come anyway.

Correct, and the school is filled with trained staff with appropriate childcare ratios. And they did a two week settling in period where they went very limited time. And still my kid found it very hard (having come from full time nursery so I was surprised) and had many meltdowns for the first half term. I had a meeting with the teacher, she said it is normal. I felt bad but child did have to get used to it because school is essential. Parties are not essential. For my particular child, being dropped off at a strangers house is an absolute no, she just wouldn’t go in, she would be crying and upset. Parties are meant to be fun. If that’s “playing up” then fine, it has the desired effect and I don’t make her do things that upset her unless she has to (school, chores, swimming lessons, all these are considered essential). If that’s molly coddling to support my child in her feelings and her wishes then I’m ok with it.

I always ask if I can bring my little one along and if its something like soft play would always offer to pay the extra entry so she can come along. So far ive never had an issue, but i would never assume and if the host said no then we would have to rethink what we would do then.

My son had a party. One of his invited pals got dropped off complete with his sister in tow, who then took a place at the lunch table AND A PARTY BAG!! The mother nowhere to be seen!! Me then flapping with food and party bags and fucking seething.

Deal with it pronto or they will all start that crap!!