RSVP to my 4 year old’s party told me they’re bringing 2yr old sibling

finally a poster with common sense.
I don't stay at parties. I use the time to enjoy 1-1 time with the other child.
And if both are invited to a party on the same day (that has only happened once), I enjoy it on my own!

What, with a hundred other random kids? You'd honestly be perturbed by your mate paying her 2 yo in when there's a load of total strangers there than rocking up to your small house? It's an absolute given in my circle that siblings will want to come to soft play, their parents will pay, they won't be fed but they'll come and say hello to the birthday kid

It’s rare to hire the whole place, it is usually possible to pay for the sibling to enter and then not take them to the party room for food.

I think that it's the height of rudeness to either just assume a sibling is invited or turn up with one.

I don't think that people should even ask, to be honest, unless in exceptional circumstances such as a lone parent with no family/friend support or a partner is working and no family/friend support.

I once had a guy turn up with the child that was invited and their two siblings!!! No asking, just said "they wanted to come too!". Fucking rude! It puts the host in such an awkward spot.

...

From what age though? My daughter turned 5 in August. So far I've always stayed and so have all of the other parents. She's been invited to a soft play area party for the first time in 2 weeks time. Should I stay or should I go? She wouldn't care either way

Personally think it’s cheekier to take a sibling to a soft play party or other rented space than a home party.

It depends on her situation - it used to drive me crackers when the whole family turned up (Mum, Dad, other siblings) yeah - so leave Dad at home with the others???? If she is a single parent or her partner is working then I wouldn’t mind. There are loads of CF’s though that just bring all their kids. One notable one from my past had 4 and always brought them all and they all had severe allergies and needed separate food etc. The CF never once invited my son to one of her parties. You’ll learn to toughen up and be more direct but I never minded my actual friends bringing their other kids.

If she's your friend and it means the older one won't be able to come if she can't bring the younger I would let her. If anyone asks who is not your friend use the limited space thing. And cross your fingers that someone can't make it! I doubt anyone else will. It's not really a 'done' thing unless single mum/ good friends. Also remember a small party bag for the 2 year old unless you want a full on meltdown at your front door. Make sure you've got lots of ideas to keep them all occupied and try to keep them in one place (downstairs) so they don't wreck your house. Good luck!

Iv got a toddler and all parties so far have been at my house or a community hall once. Every single time parents of multiples have brought everyone along without any ask that this is okay. So it seems to me that its absolutely the done thing. I think unless you are doing an activity where numbers are actually restricted then you will look really difficult saying no. To be honest if someone told me to not come to a 4 year olds party or find a baby sitter for the other child, I simply wouldnt go - and i wouldnt think very highly of the parents. I dont think money can come into it, make a few extra sandwiches whats the big deal?

This 100% 👏🏻

I mean, if you were paying per head or she was a total stranger, it would be cheeky. But she's a good friend and it's round your house. It probably wouldn't occur to her it would be an issue, it certainly wouldn't be in my circle of friends. In fact it would be a given that siblings are invited. So by all means say no if you want to but I don't think she's cheeky to have suggested it.

That,

you should really have specified to avoid this situation coz people don’t always ask and might just show up with…

And they usually expect a goody bag for them 😡

YABU to think you were fine taking a sibling to a soft play party but having issue with a sibling coming to a house party. Soft play parties are usually a price per head so you were adding costs to the price of the party.
I also find it odd that the sibling wasn't invited when you say this is a friend of yours. If a friend invited my DC to a party I would think it was for the whole family and I would also invite the whole family if I was hosting. It would be different if it was a school/nursery friend but choosing one sibling when you are friends with the parent, so I'm assuming you see both children, doesn't seem very nice.

Ever shared a king-sized bed with one?!?!

Long time ago we hosted a 4th birthday party at home for the same reasons. We were very new to the children’s party scene and it was a surprise to us that siblings came along with parents. There was no room. Never again!
We were naive to expect people to drop off 4 year olds when they would have known us but some of them no more than chats in the playground. Closer friends dropped and went but it was ridiculous and very stressful!

I found it much easier to deal with the dc if no parents there.

My neighbour had arranged for her daughter's birthday party at somewhere not sure where, but it was x amount of £s per child. She had a parent say she would have to bring their other 2 children as well, no offer to pay for the other two, so it ended up with 2 adults and 3 children instead of one adult and one child, she was quite upset about it and couldn't believe the cheek but didn't refuse as it was her daughter's best friend at school, parents didn't even know each other. I think it's a real cheek and would never dream of doing it.

what will your toddler be doing? Would it work to just have the toddlers together in another room while you focus on the birthday party? Or were you going to have your toddler looked after elsewhere (my kids don’t go to each other’s parties)?

This sort of thread always slightly bewilders me. When my children were very little I invited some of my mum friends and their children to parties. Once the children went to school, invitees to parties were dropped off and picked up two hours later. I always put a finish time on the invitations. Never any excuse for gate crashing siblings.

No I didn't expect parents to stay. But from going to other 8th birthday parties before my daughters. Parents tended to stay have a chat, drink coffee and help out.

Around here it’s fine to bring siblings to at home parties (not paid things like soft play or nerf gun party where it’s paid per head)

we all understand that people have siblings and it’s hard to juggle it

Well it’s funny how people react to bringing a sibling to a party. I ask if the party is in the soft play but if it’s in someone’s house I don’t take my younger one because of the space. Also I wouldn’t want to host a party for 4 year olds where parents drop them off - hell no! Way too young!

what I don’t understand is very often both parents coming to a party with their only child - seriously have you got nothing better to do?

8th birthday and you still expect parents to stay?!!