RSVP to my 4 year old’s party told me they’re bringing 2yr old sibling

Ive always considered siblings at my kids parties because I live in an area where many people don't have much money and are single parents. Their kids would not be able to attend if I forbade siblings from attending and not every child is right to be left at the party alone.

Oh I wish I’d said no siblings on the invite 😩 lesson learned

"Sorry, we can't accommodate siblings. Looking forward to seeing Mary if you can make it work xx"

Do it now or it will get harder and harder and then just anger you.

What’s worse, hardly any kids or too many?

I differ in my opinion to most of MN on this. I think if it is a party where parents are expected to stay then siblings end up being part of that (but not payment or food etc.)

That is your choice. Your choice does not mean the OP has to copy you.

are you expecting parents to drop and go because if not then actually you are a bit unreasonable if you are asking parents to stay ….if they are single parents with siblings at home then they either have to ask to bring a sibling or they can’t come ….

They absolutely do. 4 is too young to understand party game rules or to sit and do crafting activities fully unsupervised. They cannot read for more complex games like treasure hunts. They cannot pour themselves a drink or be expected to safely carry around party cups and cutlery. They may need reminding when to go to the loo or need help off the loo. It would be cheek fuckery of the highest order to dump a 4 year at a party because all those tasks get forced on the host who already has to serve 20+ kids and adults.

They absolutely do. 4 is too young to understand party game rules or to sit and do crafting activities fully unsupervised. They cannot read for more complex games like treasure hunts. They cannot pour themselves a drink or be expected to safely carry around party cups and cutlery. They may need reminding when to go to the loo or need help off the loo. It would be cheek fuckery of the highest order to dump a 4 year at a party because all those tasks get forced on the host who already has to serve 20+ kids and adults.

They absolutely do. 4 is too young to understand party game rules or to sit and do crafting activities fully unsupervised. They cannot read for more complex games like treasure hunts. They cannot pour themselves a drink or be expected to safely carry around party cups and cutlery. They may need reminding when to go to the loo or need help off the loo. It would be cheek fuckery of the highest order to dump a 4 year at a party because all those tasks get forced on the host who already has to serve 20+ kids and adults.

Could you say that you'll need to wait and see on the final numbers, and if one invited person can't come then the sibling can take their place?
That way you're showing that space is limited but that you're willing to accommodate if you can.

Ive always considered siblings at my kids parties because I live in an area where many people don't have much money and are single parents. Their kids would not be able to attend if I forbade siblings from attending and not every child is right to be left at the party alone.

Pre school parties tended to be family friends and their children ,so all children invited regardless of age.
Class parties once at Primary ,only children from the class invited,definitely not siblings.

Haha actually the mum that dropped off 4 year olds is not longer invited to parties now! There was one notorious for dropping off her kids who were essentially too young to be left alone. It required to host or one of the other mums to constantly have to keep an eye on them. At one party in a busy public venue, the girl actually got lost for a while and there was panic not knowing where she was or if some stranger took her because nobody was actively responsible for the child. So that mum is blacklisted now.

Could you say that you're very happy they can join the party, but aren't sure yet whether you can accommodate siblings due to space in your home. And that you'll let her know as soon as possible once your daughter's friends have rsvp'd.
Package it nicely with better wording!

It would be a shame to decline now when you might actually have space if other children can't come. Also, you're showing her you're doing your best to accommodate.

This is a great opportunity to be the one to pioneer the concept of 'dropping off' at birthday parties! The mum leaves her 4yo at the party and goes on her merry way with the siblings...problem solved and everyone will thank you for it in a years time when everyone else follows suit.
People, it's a game changer!

Parents are creating this unnecessary anxiety in their children. The lack of trust in other parents is off the chart. It was completely the norm to be dropped off at someone’s house for a party in the 80s/90s. Children were much more confident and resilient as a result. Parents should model with confidence dropping them off and leaving them to promote confidence. If a child really wasn’t fine or something did happen, any host would contact the parent. Common sense.

I would let her leave the four year old and not stay herself if she has childcare problems. Four year olds don’t need 1:1 adult supervision.

I know it’s not hard but I don’t have a “village” and any mum friends I’ve got are important to me