To feel sad that my Dd will not really know what it’s like to be British

And as others have said, it wouldn’t be the same anyway. My children aren’t having what I had in Britain.

But she's not going to get those, even if you move back - it just wouldn't be the same experience for her as the one you have in mind. And by 6,a lot of things are already instilled in her which would give her a different outlook anyway 👍

She had her own childhood. Her own identity. I’m sure she’s enjoying her life very much.

It’s really daft to say she’s missing out. She’s not at all. It’s your projection. Thinking that what you had is something she should have. Why? That’s your childhood. Not hers. Just make sure she has fun, has support, enjoys herself.

This is similar to my situation. Born in the UK but moved to another country as a toddler, so grew up with that culture instead ( although I had a British parent). I've lived back in the UK since I was a young adult, and don't feel fully part of either culture - and my accent is confused enough that every place I go in the world people ask me where I'm from.

I'm proud of both heritages though...make sure your DC is too!

I am amused at all people being so defensive at the criticism of Britain. I was born and brought up here, and love it. But of course it’s not perfect. Why do people take it so personally when others criticise it? We don’t live in a communist dictatorship where we have to swear allegiance and adore the country and leader etc, you know!

I get what you mean OP - we live abroad and my DH is American so our kids speak fluent English but as they get older I think they will definitely identify with the local culture more than with either of our cultures. Do you have any British friends where you live who could recreate some traditions with you? I find these feelings surface in the run-up to Christmas because many of my favourite childhood memories are from this time of year and my kids will have a whole different set of cultural references. I worry about them feeling like they don't fully fit in anywhere, but I guess there are advantages too - bilingualism, dual nationality, more awareness of cultural differences etc.

I agree with you. My family is all Scottish, with a typical Scottish out playing in the housing estate upbringing- we are in Australia and none of that where we live. Wish I’d had the chance to bring her up in the UK. The idea of beach living isn’t a thing for many people as it’s expensive. Real life in Melbourne is mostly miserable and expensive (for us)

I live in the UK ,have never lived elsewhere and I don't understand my heritage or culture..I'm not Scottish or Irish,I'd of felt more of an understanding to that ,I'm just white British..I don't feel anything making me feel I belong here ,or I'm part of being here .
Maybe I need to start a thread asking what being British means to other people

I think there a lot of kids growing up in different places. My kid is a third country kid. My parents were immigrants to the UK, we now live in a different country. I think it’s nice that she’s connected to three different places. It’s a lot more common now, I understand your own nostalgia but tbh your kid is probably going to be perfectly happy. We make a lot of effort when we are back in the UK to make sure she sees as much of it as possible as well as pending time with family. Perhaps try to get back to the UK more.

I also have a third culture kids book - not the one named above, as I myself grew up in 3 different European countries.

I also have a son who's dad is from another continent altogether...

We live in the country I and birth family are from.
Not UK.

I was in London this year and loved it. Been many times.

I think it is important to share her heritage with her. Can you come back at least once a year for a holiday? And as she gets older perhaps she'll be able to do family visits alone, to grandparents, cousins, etc. Also, find some good British TV shows to watch together and chat about, if she's not too young for that.

You have rose tinted spectacles about growing up in the UK. It's bloody cold, wet , divided, negative and grim. They are growing up in their culture. you can still plonk a turkey on the table at Christmas and do those "British" things

I understand how you feel, OP. My DCs were all born and brought up in the US, and I remember feeling they would never bother with their Irish side. I remember the dismay at hearing them gradually develop the local accent the more they mixed with other kids in school.

I made a point, when they were kids, of reading British and Irish children's literature to them and using phrases from the likes of Winnie the Pooh, Beatrix Potter books, etc, in everyday conversation, just to make sure their fond memories would include something of their heritage. I cooked (and still cook) traditional Irish/ British festive meals, favourite baked goodies and everyday meals. The only thing I haven't tried is spotted dick.

At the same time, I encouraged them to participate up to their necks in everything the local area offered - arts, sports, friendships. They needed to bloom where they were planted, and after all I chose to plant them there.

They all chose to get their Irish passports as adults.

Do you genuinely feel sad for your child or are you just feeling nostalgic?

We moved to Canada when DS was a baby, and back for family reasons when he was 3. And I completely understand what you are saying! We discussed at the time that it would be so weird to have a child who played ice hockey and baseball not football or rounders, and who talked about Canadian cartoons not British ones.

As it happens he is a bit of a mishmash - he still says “fire truck” not “fire engine” because that is what he learned first, but he has a strong South London accent. He did actually grow up loving lots of Canadian kids tv (paw patrol, Dino Dana, wild kratts) but still has mostly UK cultural references. His British childhood is pretty different to mine anyway, just because I’m 35 years older than him, and I grew up in a little village and he grew up in London.

I grew up in a country that my parents had emigrated to and now I live in the uk. So we have got three traditions to pick from in our family. If dh was from a fourth country we would have 4 traditions.

I talk a lot about my childhood to my kids and so far they like to listen and hear my stories. I also talk about and follow the traditions that I loved as a child in addition to the English traditions that my kids want to follow. I think the trick is not to replace anything that means anything to anyone but to add to it. They shouldn't be in conflict with each other but complement each other. That's what my parents did when I was a child. They never asked me to choose. We just embraced it all.

If you want to give your kids a sense of British life then what might help is to find children's books that depict that life or at least the parts that you enjoyed and want to pass on.

Why are you embarrassed to be British? Who are you embarrassed in front off?

Do you try and hide the fact you’re British?

Is this the trendy thing to say? I see it on FB a lot.

i classed myself as dual nationality until I was about 25 and settled in the UK

Even if you brought her up in England, she won't have the childhood that you had. My kids childhood was vastly different to mine, which in some ways makes me sad. There isn't the freedom anymore.

South east asia
Went to international schools until I was 13, then a British school, then English uni
International sports helped a lot in keeping a hold of my heritage because I don’t remember living in England

I'm a third culture kid, which is what you are bringing your daughter up to be.
There is definitely a sense of rootlessness that comes with it, and a sense of not quite fitting in wherever you live. That has pros and cons - it also means I'm comfortable anywhere and have lived in lots of different countries and travelled extensively. There are a few good books on third culture kids - 'Raising Up a Generation of Healthy Third Culture Kids: A Practical Guide to Preventive Care'

Another thing to consider is if they have kids outside the UK, those kids will have no claim to any British passport and will just be treated as foreigners like everyone else. So then the British connection is lost.

Yes I'm the same. I want my kids to have proper Christmases, Halloween, Bonfire night, the whole thing. It makes me really sad. My partner is from the Country we live in but if we were both British I would be moving back. I would be moving back now but because of Brexit and the harsh immigration laws we can't afford to. Why don't you visit more? We made two trips back from Australia before my child was 2. Southern Europe isn't hard.

My children, mid-primary and early secondary, were born and raised (so far at least ) in England. I and their father are from another European country. My kids consider themselves British. In my mind I always see them as coming from my home country, but they most definitely identify as British from around 5-6 years of age. My husband is sad that they do not have the same childhood experiences that we had - similar to you. But they are having a lovely childhood, and so did we, they are just different.

Allow them to define themselves (not saying you aren’t already doing that). My parents are from different countries, and my family emigrated from my home country when I was a child. I’ve also emigrated again in adulthood. I’ve been shaped by all the cultural influences I’ve been exposed to, and I’m grateful to my parents for allowing that to be the case, rather than trying to insist that I must I identify as X or Y because they do.

Conversely to those that feel rootless or that they don’t belong, I personally really like not feeling tied to any one place geographically and/or culturally. That to me is something positive, not a drawback or loss at all.

Your children may or may not be interested in exploring and/or connecting their heritage in later years, that will be their choice. Something like that is very much dependent on the individual.