To say my DP can’t rent his house to his close female friend for cash

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£140! That’s nothing. Add up you food , heating, consumables (toilet roll, washing up liquid etc) etc and divide by half. Thats how much he should be giving you. £140 is probably two weeks food bill ,(for one person) at most.

Also, he doesn’t get to decide to move in with you.

It sounds like you are in a relationship with a man who has two wives and a few step-kids.

He needs his house to home his wives and you are handy to shag in the week in your house. Sounds like you’ve got pissy and he wants to chuck you £140 to keep you sweet.

He sounds like a mug, and you sound like a muggier mug for letting him get away with it.

Get rid of all three of ‘em.

You've been together a year, but have yet to meet his family or friends (apart from these two women)??!! Yet he's staying over 6 nights per week at yours, and is now pushing to live with you, so his female friend can rent his home. You're good enough to move in with, but not to meet his family/friends??! Don't you think that's odd?? After a year I'd have expected to have met his family/friends. I think he's expecting rather a lot from you, and doesn't appear to be giving much back. His credit card debt isn't your problem, it's his. It's not down to you to agree to him moving in, to make life easier for him. Do you actually want to live with him?? Alarm bells would be ringing if this were me. I wouldn't be agreeing to this arrangement, it could end up being a nightmare.

His credit card isn't your problem

How much is this woman going to be paying him? Bet it's not that low, so he's in profit living with you.

Give him the £140 back and call it a day OP. This relationship is far too complicated, especially at this early stage. If it feels wrong, it is wrong.

I pay more than that to travel to work. It's definitely not going to cover the increase in council tax, never mind food that he eats, electricity, water for extra washing and if he ever has a bath or flushes the toilet...

Actually, I pay more than that on the cat. And at least I know he's not getting any of his 'needs' met somewhere else.

There is a very, very simple rule that I drilled into our DDs as soon as they started dating:

If he is making you feel confused, upset or uncertain then he just doesn't really care about you and your relationship So you have to move on and find someone who treats you how you deserve to be treated. Know your own worth.

It really, really is that simple.

YABU in that he can rent it to who he likes but YANBU to say that he can't move in with you during that period.

Its way too soon to be living together, and her being there sounds like it could get super messy, especially if she refuses to leave.

As for the jealousy thing, I wonder if its more like she sees him as her own personal support animal and hates that she is no longer his priority. I have seen it when I was a lot younger, female "besties" fall out with the guy when he gets a LTR because they dont like another woman taking his attention. She doesnt want him romantically but doesnt want to lose having him at her beck and call.

Is that a typo? £140! Why should you subsidize his living costs while he does a favour to another woman you’re not comfortable about?

Nah. Just say you don’t want to live together and if he is “visiting your home” so frequently he needs to contribute to those costs.

There is nothing to argue about. The fact he is arguing tells me you’re being taken advantage of and not in a healthy relationship.

All of this. Get out of that mess.

you really want to be with someone who is so blase about commiting fraud?

How can someone so grossly unappealing and exploitative have so many women chasing him!?

The female friends is a red herring. The issue is that he is taking the piss out of you financially, and he was doing that before the plan to rent to his pal came about.

Has he been contributing anything to the food shop, your energy bills, and so on for the months he has been staying with you?

Why do you never stay at his? It would be much more common in your situation to split your time between houses, with some time alone too.

I would be extremely wary of getting into a serious relationship with someone who has such enormous credit card debts that repayments are £2000 a month.

Give him his £140 back, and tell him to stay at his mum and dad's if he wants to rent his house out.

I dont think hes the one.

How can you say this is a relationship that’s going very well given it’s been a year, with a lot of that being long distance, you’ve never met his family and have (possibly well founded, possibly not) insecurity issues about his two closest friends?

Just end this and find someone who lives nearby and doesn’t have so many complications.

This.

You're focusing on the wrong thing. His relationships with his female friends may or may not be innocent, but you can't stop him renting out his place or a room to a friend.

What you can do is clearly say it's NOT OK for him to move into yours in order to enable this.

Just tell him no thanks, you like things how they are, and then leave the rest to him.

You need to decide if you want him to move in or not. If not, then say so and what he does after that is up to him. I wouldn't if I was you - the relationship is new and there are a lot of grey areas. Stay as you are, living alone and let him come over, Moving in together should be a conscious decision or choice. You can't tell him what to do with his house though, that's none of your business.

I literally thought of that film too.

This is all bullshit OP, just dump the whole lot of them. £140 a month? He’s just using you.

“Casually”?? You mean on the black market then. So no deposit taken, no tenancy agreement, no declaration of rental income to HMRC, no protection for his ‘tenant’ or indeed him if she refuses to later move out.

He’s an idiot. With zero integrity.

Why would you stay in a relationship with someone like this? These are not qualities you want in a life partner.

My DD pays us £500 digs every month.

I think you’re being dramatic and making him hide his friendships from you because you’re jealous. I also think everyone sounds about 8 years old.

I think if you say no the relationship will sour. And his friends will never like you afterwards.

I like his idea of the rent money being split between you. However I don’t like the idea of him giving you just £140… that’s barely half of my council tax bill let alone everything else. I don’t think it was good that he didn’t discuss it all with you.

Youre being weird saying she just wants the house for cheap rent though. Thats obvious, and not a bad thing…. That’s the only reason she’d choose this route. Duh.

Are you sure you didn’t walk into some odd throuple arrangement and that’s why it’s all so awkward?

Does the £140 a month include food?Why does he have so much debt ? Really you can do better than this individual who is only thinking of him self.Really think about it and get rid,

You're not listening to a word anyone's saying @divisifting are you? It's like you have your fingers stuck in your ears going la la la la