To think this is all not normal

LeopardPrintIsNeutral · 2025-11-10T17:29:19+00:00

Calling your five year old a bitch telling aforementioned five year old to fuck off or shut the fuck up? im being made to feel irrational for saying this is not alright?????!! help

sleeppleasesoon · 10/11/2025 19:29

It’s emotional abuse.

If you continue to allow your child to be exposed to this level of terror you are complicit.

Contact women’s aid to help with a safety plan to leave.

Good luck OP, you got this 💐.

Kizmet1 · 10/11/2025 19:22

That is absolutely bonkers. In the thick of PPD and sleep deprivation, I once screamed at my infant to shut the f* up. That was my rock bottom and let me know that I was unwell and I needed help.
If your DP thinks this behaviour and language is normal then he is not a safe adult for your little girl to be around and he needs to address his anger issues.
I'm so sorry for you and your DD having to live with this.

myglowupera · 10/11/2025 19:09

LeopardPrintIsNeutral · 10/11/2025 17:33

He does it then gives her the silent treatment and she loves him so much she’d be so upset to have reduced contact

Oh this is heartbreaking 😢💔 She loves him and he calls her a bitch. This is why she needs an adult to look out for her and protect her because children are so forgiving of the adults closest to them when they abuse them. If it’s her dad she loves him because he’s her dad no matter what he says to her. It will definitely be affecting her.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 10/11/2025 19:03

Talltreesbythelake · 10/11/2025 18:10

Well, if it is fine he won't mind you mentioning it to her teacher. Speak to someone at school tomorrow about this. Help is available now and they can refer you to Early Help. Perhaps a parenting course will help him to understand the damage he is doing.

Yep this in spades.

He will also think it fine if you tell his mum and his boss amd coworkers

Disgusting man

ThatCyanCat · 10/11/2025 19:01

Children are programmed to adore their parents. I adored my abusive father before I was old enough to know what a bastard he was.

Starrystarrysky · 10/11/2025 18:57

OP, there are four survival responses - fight, flight, freeze, fawn. Your daughter is fawning to placate her abuser, as she can't fight or run. Please don't mistake this for a genuinely close connection.

You've taken the important first step in realising this isn't OK. You can plan your escape and get your child out of this horrendous situation. You are strong enough.

WhatAKnob47 · 10/11/2025 18:53

He's abusing your 5 year old in front of you. He's am abusive wanker. If you let this happen and remove her from his abuse you are complicit. You need to talk to domestic abuse charity like womans aid or the domestic abuse helpline and get out. How he treats her will shape how she allows men to treat her for her whole lifetime.

CommanderTaggart · 10/11/2025 18:51

LeopardPrintIsNeutral · 10/11/2025 18:44

I definitely don’t love him - he’s mean to me too 😂 just got to figure out an escape plan

Show quote history

Good luck, I know you can do this 💪 This thread will help you get started, so many women here will have good advice. There are charities that will help too xx

https://womensaid.org.uk

ShenandoahRiver · 10/11/2025 18:47

x

ShenandoahRiver · 10/11/2025 18:47

How old is your baby?
Tell your perinatal team what is going on.

Original poster

LeopardPrintIsNeutral · 10/11/2025 18:44

CommanderTaggart · 10/11/2025 18:36

You absolutely need to get this man away from your daughter.

Well done for spotting this is not okay. This is SO far from okay. And no ‘just letting the anger out’ is not better than bottling it up. If he’s got anger that needs expressing, he needs to go for a run or something, release the emotion on his own, far, far away from your child or anyone else.

But to be honest a man who gets angry with a 5 year old and cannot control it is not a good father and chances are he never will be. You need to leave him, honey.

You know those women who love their man so much they stand by while he mistreats her children? Don’t be one of them.

Edited

I definitely don’t love him - he’s mean to me too 😂 just got to figure out an escape plan

OP posts:

CommanderTaggart · 10/11/2025 18:36

You absolutely need to get this man away from your daughter.

Well done for spotting this is not okay. This is SO far from okay. And no ‘just letting the anger out’ is not better than bottling it up. If he’s got anger that needs expressing, he needs to go for a run or something, release the emotion on his own, far, far away from your child or anyone else.

But to be honest a man who gets angry with a 5 year old and cannot control it is not a good father and chances are he never will be. You need to leave him, honey.

You know those women who love their man so much they stand by while he mistreats her children? Don’t be one of them.

SleepingStandingUp · 10/11/2025 18:33

LeopardPrintIsNeutral · 10/11/2025 18:02

We’ve just had a conversation where I have said it must stop. He said the problem would be if we didn’t lose our temper. It would be worse to bottle it up - I don’t know what to think 💭

He sounds dangerous op. He has to swear and shout at a 5 year old because otherwise he'll bottle it up and.... the insinuation is he'd physically hurt her or you.

ThatCyanCat · 10/11/2025 18:33

LeopardPrintIsNeutral · 10/11/2025 17:33

He does it then gives her the silent treatment and she loves him so much she’d be so upset to have reduced contact

By the time she's my age she might well have changed her mind. Ask me how I know.

CommanderTaggart · 10/11/2025 18:31

Of course it’s not okay! It is emotionally abusive and needs to be reported.

Original poster

LeopardPrintIsNeutral · 10/11/2025 18:30

Talltreesbythelake · 10/11/2025 18:10

Well, if it is fine he won't mind you mentioning it to her teacher. Speak to someone at school tomorrow about this. Help is available now and they can refer you to Early Help. Perhaps a parenting course will help him to understand the damage he is doing.

I think this is the answer. I’m under perinatal mental health too who also might be able to help me

OP posts:

Sassylovesbooks · 10/11/2025 18:30

A person who calls a 5 year old a bitch or tells her to fuck off or shut the fuck up, shouldn't have care of a child. That person is a nasty, aggressive individual, who is a safeguarding risk. No decent human being would speak to a child, regardless of their age like this. If this person is your partner, regardless if he's the child's Dad or not, you need to get her away from this utter piece of shit. It's not normal on any level.

Summerhillsquare · 10/11/2025 18:29

Please remove the child from this situation before someone else intervenes. Can you ring the national domestic abuse helpline?

DierdreDaphne · 10/11/2025 18:11

ThereIsThunderInOurHearts · 10/11/2025 17:34

It's not love, it's fear. She is placating him to try and stop his cruelty. Please remove her from him.

Yes, this

Talltreesbythelake · 10/11/2025 18:10

Well, if it is fine he won't mind you mentioning it to her teacher. Speak to someone at school tomorrow about this. Help is available now and they can refer you to Early Help. Perhaps a parenting course will help him to understand the damage he is doing.

OCDmama · 10/11/2025 18:09

Stop being so thick and helpless and take your daughter out of this situation. He might be the one saying these things, by not doing anything you're enabling abuse.

Original poster

LeopardPrintIsNeutral · 10/11/2025 18:02

We’ve just had a conversation where I have said it must stop. He said the problem would be if we didn’t lose our temper. It would be worse to bottle it up - I don’t know what to think 💭

OP posts:

LushLemonTart · 10/11/2025 17:54

Yabu for having to ask!

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 10/11/2025 17:52

Jesus wept. Horrrific. Abusive. Unacceptable. Grab the child and run.

Pancakeflipper · 10/11/2025 17:41

Of course it's not normal.
Bit it is very damaging and .makes you wonder what else is going on