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AIBU?

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Original poster

DSis is skimping on Christmas because she’s obsessed with her Skye trip?

282 replies

LydiaRidesAgain · 10/11/2025 16:14

DSis has announced on the family chat that she’s doing a smaller Christmas this year so she and BIL can save for their big Isle of Skye holiday next summer.
Fine in theory, except last year she happily accepted the tasteful and expensive pile of gifts I bought for them both, and now I am apparently only getting a little token.

DM has already chimed in with something about memories meaning more than materialistic things which pissed me off.

AIBU to think she can save for her holiday without cheaping out on me and the rest of the family?????

OP posts:
Elliania · 10/11/2025 17:00

Just agree, return anything you've already bought her (or give to someone else) and then buy her a small token. It's really not that complicated. My Mum barely did any gifts last year as my Dad died just before Christmas and she really couldn't face shopping. It's not a big deal.

emmetgirl · 10/11/2025 16:59

Shit like this is exactly why I hate Xmas and choose not to have any part in it.
Get a grip of yourself and leave her alone. You sound spoilt and grabby.

Cynic17 · 10/11/2025 16:59

Oh for goodness sake, OP, don't be so juvenile. Maybe you could just agree that adults don't need any presents (which they don't), and then this will no longer be an issue for you.
Good on your sister for planning a lovely holiday!

shhblackbag · 10/11/2025 16:58

BlueJuniper94 · 10/11/2025 16:54

It's just a cutla threads

Show quote history

😂

Wishimaywishimight · 10/11/2025 16:58

"Renegotiate the terms of the Christmas gifts" 🤣

Good to see the true spirit and magic of Christmas is alive and well.

shhblackbag · 10/11/2025 16:58

outerspacepotato · 10/11/2025 16:44

Last year doesn't matter. She's letting you know we'll in advance not to go all out spending for gifts for her family because she's not going to.

It's normal to want a nice holiday and cut spending accordingly. You're being very unreasonable.

Agree. I also think your mother is right tbh.

Stuff is overrated.

PastaAllaNorma · 10/11/2025 16:56

I can understand frustration if you're an early shopper - I've got roughly half my presents already and as I try buy some local independents and craft fairs it's not really returnable for much of it.

But otherwise, why on earth does it matter what people spent last year? That's over and gone.

Match her in downsizing, and spend the money on nice things for yourself and your family. Your mum is right, experiences and memories are worth more.

FlyingUnicornWings · 10/11/2025 16:56

LydiaRidesAgain · 10/11/2025 16:37

I’m not keeping score, I’m simply pointing out that DSis set a precedent. If she wants to renegotiate the terms of the Christmas gifts, that’s fine, but I’m going to need notice, not just one month!

This suggests you’ve already bought her gifts? If so, give to give because you love her and want to treat her - not to receive the same back.

Or take them back for a refund and spend less if it makes you happy.

Devilsmommy · 10/11/2025 16:55

BlueJuniper94 · 10/11/2025 16:54

It's just a cutla threads

Show quote history

😂😂😂

FastTurtle · 10/11/2025 16:54

If you’ve already bought her something can you return it?

BlueJuniper94 · 10/11/2025 16:54

Devilsmommy · 10/11/2025 16:45

What is with all the threads moaning about a dsis giving shit Xmas gifts because of saving for a holiday?🤨

It's just a cutla threads

Heronwatcher · 10/11/2025 16:53

Just buy less this year. Surely if you’ve only just started Christmas shopping you can return stuff or at least get vouchers. Anyway how much have you spent? Even if you do have to give the gifts you planned I’d just do it anyway and spend less next year.

usedtobeaylis · 10/11/2025 16:53

Do you check the price of everything you receive to make sure it's equivalent to what you, under no obligation at all, have chosen to spend?

SomethingInTheAirToday · 10/11/2025 16:52

LydiaRidesAgain · 10/11/2025 16:37

I’m not keeping score, I’m simply pointing out that DSis set a precedent. If she wants to renegotiate the terms of the Christmas gifts, that’s fine, but I’m going to need notice, not just one month!

It’s Christmas, ffs

Frenchfrychic · 10/11/2025 16:51

Huh? Why do you need notice, if you’ve bought stuff return it. Don’t be so grabby.

Friendlygingercat · 10/11/2025 16:51

I stopped buying gifts in 1979 when my grandmother died. None of us celebrated that christmas. The following year I went on a 4 week holiday to the far east and told everyone well in advance that I would not be buying gifts save for small tokens. For a few years I still bought small tokens for immediate family. Then I began to go abroad every year. I went to a non christian country to get away from the whole hooha. It took me a few years to train my family but in the end they got it. I was one less person they had to buy tat for.

Nothing wrong with prioritising a unique experience over a load of plastic tat.

TigerRag · 10/11/2025 16:50

Bananaandmangosmoothie · 10/11/2025 16:46

I think a lot of people are feeling like Christmas giving has all got a bit out of hand and would like to scale back.

We have a budget of £20. Not money related though. Although I do remember my mum saying last year that my sister and her DH couldn't afford to buy us much

JacknDiane · 10/11/2025 16:50

Strange thread

CowTown · 10/11/2025 16:50

This whole “spread the cost of Christmas” business is really unnecessary. Run a sinking fund in a separate account—the net result is the same (or perhaps better, as you’ll earn some interest by not spending too early in the year).

TheBirches · 10/11/2025 16:50

LydiaRidesAgain · 10/11/2025 16:37

I’m not keeping score, I’m simply pointing out that DSis set a precedent. If she wants to renegotiate the terms of the Christmas gifts, that’s fine, but I’m going to need notice, not just one month!

This is not the Supreme Court, OP. Because you gave her expensive presents last year, doesn't mean you have to do it again. If you need a year's notice, then that's on you for buying expensive presents so far in advance. I only exchange token presents with my parents and siblings -- chocolates, potted hyacinths etc.

pilates · 10/11/2025 16:49

This can’t be for real. I would be pleased.

socks1107 · 10/11/2025 16:48

Yabu. Greedy and self centred. Of course her holiday is more important than buying you a gift to your standards.
just scale back what you spend. People have too much stuff and she’s right to not get in debt for it

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 10/11/2025 16:48

Twistedfirestarters · 10/11/2025 16:19

Is there some sort of weird Christmas present troll? This is very similar to the 'cutla quid' thread...

I was just thinking this...

Spent a fortune last year
Suddenly announced smaller budget
Saving for a holiday

TheChosenTwo · 10/11/2025 16:47

Why do you need more than 7 weeks notice to spend less money than you planned to?

TheFormidableMrsC · 10/11/2025 16:47

Twistedfirestarters · 10/11/2025 16:19

Is there some sort of weird Christmas present troll? This is very similar to the 'cutla quid' thread...

I just thought the same

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