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AIBU?

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Original poster

DSis is skimping on Christmas because she’s obsessed with her Skye trip?

282 replies

LydiaRidesAgain · 10/11/2025 16:14

DSis has announced on the family chat that she’s doing a smaller Christmas this year so she and BIL can save for their big Isle of Skye holiday next summer.
Fine in theory, except last year she happily accepted the tasteful and expensive pile of gifts I bought for them both, and now I am apparently only getting a little token.

DM has already chimed in with something about memories meaning more than materialistic things which pissed me off.

AIBU to think she can save for her holiday without cheaping out on me and the rest of the family?????

OP posts:
scotsmumofteens · 10/11/2025 17:23

selected not unreasonable in error - definitely meant being unreasonable !!!

mindutopia · 10/11/2025 17:23

That sounds fine. 🤷🏻‍♀️ By the way everyone is currently whinging about cost of living and how miserable life in the UK, we should all be spending less on junk at Christmas.

Scottishskifun · 10/11/2025 17:22

Buy her a bottle of smidge and a midges head net and your sorted!

It's fine for her to change to smaller Christmas presents you don't need a big pile of presents from your sister your a grown adult if you want something save up and get it.

Bluefacedsheep · 10/11/2025 17:21

I hope she has an amazing time!!!

Cat1504 · 10/11/2025 17:20

Just don’t do gifts with your sister🤷‍♀️?…..we never buy siblings presents …ever…still see them over christmas

Sofaflop · 10/11/2025 17:20

What would you have done if she hadn't accepted your big pile of "tasteful and expensive presents"? Could she have refused them without causing offence?

Regardless, that's last year. The only response now is "great shall we just buy for kids this year?"

Arrrrrrragghhh · 10/11/2025 17:19

FFS what else can she do but accept the gifts you give her? It’s in you if you went OTT.
She knows she can’t compete with your expensive, tasteful gifts so is letting you know now.

Vaxtable · 10/11/2025 17:18

If you have already bought stuff then can you take it back? Or use as a birthday present or for someone else

Get her a token gift

ilovelamp82 · 10/11/2025 17:17

Are you an adult? Cost of living is a struggle for everyone. Buying presents for other adults is just not a priority for a lot of people and that's fair enough. Just use the money that you were going to spend on them to treat yourself to something you wouldn't normally for Christmas.

MaplePumpkin · 10/11/2025 17:17

Bloody hell.

Firstly, why is last year relevant? Did she match your gift buying last year and spend a similar amount? If yes, then just see this year as a whole new year. If no, you could be annoyed about that at the time but why is it relevant now?

Secondly, you sound so entitled. Why should you receiving a Christmas present be more important than her going on a lovely holiday? You sound like a spoilt child. Your final sentence about you thinking she should be able to save for a holiday without skimping on your presents is grim. Obviously she can’t afford to do both, and she is not wrong for choosing a holiday over Christmas presents. It’s just so materialistic. Just buy her something small this year and gratefully accept whatever small gift she gets you.

IsItSnowing · 10/11/2025 17:16

I don't see what last year's gift exchange has to do with it.
This year, she's told you in advance so you can adjust your giving accordingly. Seems fair to me.

Howmanycatsistoomany · 10/11/2025 17:15

So just get her a box of Dairy Milk and return/keep for yourself the gift(s) you've already bought her. She's set the precedent now hasn't she? No more thought required.

I get why your peed off - a few years ago my DSD announced they weren't doing presents - 2 days before Christmas!

Digdongdoo · 10/11/2025 17:12

She's given you plenty of notice. So don't buy her an expensive present this year. It's not difficult.
Have you already bought their presents?

VoltaireMittyDream · 10/11/2025 17:12

Fuck me all the grabby ones are out in force today.

softstone · 10/11/2025 17:07

I think if Christmas for you has become this transactional you’re kind of missing the point of Christmas. It’s a bit sad.

Zempy · 10/11/2025 17:06

Why is what you bought her last year remotely relevant?

Just give them equivalent gifts to what she’s proposing.

Mischance · 10/11/2025 17:04

Ah ... the true spirit of Christmas! Tit for tat.... measuring the value of presents and making sure you get as good as you give ..... sigh.

TheGrimSmile · 10/11/2025 17:04

It sounds very sensible to me.

GroundControlToMajorTomCat · 10/11/2025 17:04

Giving a gift does not automatically mean you deserve a gift in return. Be happy for your DSis and go on a holiday yourself.

Lastfroginthebox · 10/11/2025 17:03

You can't expect some expensive present just because you spent a lot last year! She's explained why she's cutting back in order to inform you not to go mad with your present for her this year. I'd be pleased if I were you.

MYOB12 · 10/11/2025 17:02

Good for her! I’m doing the same thing though my trip is a long weekend abroad it’s not something I’d otherwise be able to afford.

Enrichetta · 10/11/2025 17:02

Are you familiar with compound interest, @LydiaRidesAgain ? Let’s say you spend £1200 a year on Christmas - if instead you saved the money at 4% a year, in 5 years you would have £8100….. £7200 investment plus £900 interest. If you save the money in an ISA or your pension, it is tax free.

In 10 years you’d have £16500 including £3300 interest. And so on. Returns could be even higher if invested in an equity fund for the long term.

There are lots of compounds interest calculators online, e.g.:

https://www.aviva.co.uk/investments/savings-accounts/compound-interest-calculator/

ScaryM0nster · 10/11/2025 17:01

LydiaRidesAgain · 10/11/2025 16:37

I’m not keeping score, I’m simply pointing out that DSis set a precedent. If she wants to renegotiate the terms of the Christmas gifts, that’s fine, but I’m going to need notice, not just one month!

You’ve had a fair chunk more than a month, even if you found out today:……..

Olivebranch123 · 10/11/2025 17:01

I didn't think adults bought each other Christmas presents any more except for,say a small token gift for a parent

BerryTwister · 10/11/2025 17:00

I assume you’ve already bought her some lovely expensive presents OP, so you’re annoyed she’s now announced her festive frugality. Can her gifts be returned, or given to someone else? Personally I’d be happy to have one less person to think about. DP and I have agreed minimal spend this year, and it’s quite a relief.

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