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AIBU?

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DSis is skimping on Christmas because she’s obsessed with her Skye trip?

282 replies

LydiaRidesAgain · 10/11/2025 16:14

DSis has announced on the family chat that she’s doing a smaller Christmas this year so she and BIL can save for their big Isle of Skye holiday next summer.
Fine in theory, except last year she happily accepted the tasteful and expensive pile of gifts I bought for them both, and now I am apparently only getting a little token.

DM has already chimed in with something about memories meaning more than materialistic things which pissed me off.

AIBU to think she can save for her holiday without cheaping out on me and the rest of the family?????

OP posts:
Delatron · 10/11/2025 16:46

Twistedfirestarters · 10/11/2025 16:19

Is there some sort of weird Christmas present troll? This is very similar to the 'cutla quid' thread...

Yes! Some kind of weird , greedy Christmas troll.

All these people are telling you in advance that they want to do smaller gifts (other thread was the same). That is fine! Do the same. What the hell is the problem here?

One year we said to SIL (or maybe she said to us) ‘ shall we just buy for the kids this year’. And so forth we did. There is nothing to discuss or see here and I’m getting sick of these stupid threads .

Bananaandmangosmoothie · 10/11/2025 16:46

I think a lot of people are feeling like Christmas giving has all got a bit out of hand and would like to scale back.

Ohpleeeease · 10/11/2025 16:45

LydiaRidesAgain · 10/11/2025 16:37

I’m not keeping score, I’m simply pointing out that DSis set a precedent. If she wants to renegotiate the terms of the Christmas gifts, that’s fine, but I’m going to need notice, not just one month!

I do understand that if you spread the cost of Christmas over the year by buying early, a month’s notice might be too late.

Return or regift anything you’ve already bought, and set a budget for this year. Accept that this might be the pattern for the future and with the money you save, treat yourself and your family instead of hers.

Devilsmommy · 10/11/2025 16:45

What is with all the threads moaning about a dsis giving shit Xmas gifts because of saving for a holiday?🤨

CowTown · 10/11/2025 16:45

You do not get a vote in choosing how much goes into DS’s holiday pot and how much goes onto her Christmas pot.

Christmas is nearly 7 weeks away. She has given you ample notice. If you’ve already purchased a gift—return it.

brunettemic · 10/11/2025 16:45

Honestly you sound pathetic. Hopefully she’ll have a great time on her trip.

dominique36 · 10/11/2025 16:44

I receive nothing for Christmas from any of my family members, your post screams entitled. If you want something buy it yourself?

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 10/11/2025 16:44

LydiaRidesAgain · 10/11/2025 16:37

I’m not keeping score, I’m simply pointing out that DSis set a precedent. If she wants to renegotiate the terms of the Christmas gifts, that’s fine, but I’m going to need notice, not just one month!

You've got a month and a half's notice. Surely that's more than enough!

outerspacepotato · 10/11/2025 16:44

Last year doesn't matter. She's letting you know we'll in advance not to go all out spending for gifts for her family because she's not going to.

It's normal to want a nice holiday and cut spending accordingly. You're being very unreasonable.

Enrichetta · 10/11/2025 16:43

Just stop with the “tasteful and expensive pile of gifts I bought for them both” last Christmas. Nobody, and I mean nobody, needs this. Most people already have too much stuff. Chances are at least some of the tasteful stuff ended up in a charity shop.

Let her make experiences. Why don’t you do the same? And enjoy Christmas as an opportunity to spend quality time with the people who matter to you.

CurlewKate · 10/11/2025 16:43

Another transactional present giving thread. Just give what you want to give and what gives you pleasure to give. Then move on.

YoureKillingMyPeace · 10/11/2025 16:43

This is the second “they’re spending less on Christmas” thread I’ve seen. Confused what’s the issue?

It’s a ridiculous idea to spend stupid amounts of money giving ‘stuff’ to people on a day that been over commercialised by retailers. No one needs half the crap that’s bought and ends up the charity shops in January, or worse, landfill.

We only give to the children in our family to avoid all this overspending and unneeded gifts nonsense.

Timeforaglassofwine · 10/11/2025 16:41

"renegotiate the terms of the Christmas gifts"
"I’m going to need notice, not just one month" (it's 10th of November)
Comedy gold 🤣🤣

takealettermsjones · 10/11/2025 16:41

Why do you need more than a month's notice?!

Just waiting for the drip feed now.

TheChicDreamer · 10/11/2025 16:41

I haven’t even started shopping yet! Your sister has given you plenty of notice.

SALaw · 10/11/2025 16:40

Last year was last year. What did she give you? This year give her a smaller gift. You have well over a month to find said smaller gift. This couldn’t be less of an issue.

HollyhockDays · 10/11/2025 16:40

Christmas is weeks away. How much notice do you need?

nomas · 10/11/2025 16:39

Why didn’t she get you a present last year?

Do not give presents this year.

And give a basic £20 wedding present.

GehenSieweiter · 10/11/2025 16:38

Nobody forced you to spend loads on her. I think a holiday is a much better use of money tbh, and hope she loves Skye!

pinkyredrose · 10/11/2025 16:38

Just give her a smaller present this Yr. She can save for a holiday if she wants. Not sure why she's 'obsessed' though.

Whaleandsnail6 · 10/11/2025 16:38

LydiaRidesAgain · 10/11/2025 16:37

I’m not keeping score, I’m simply pointing out that DSis set a precedent. If she wants to renegotiate the terms of the Christmas gifts, that’s fine, but I’m going to need notice, not just one month!

So have you already bought her gift? Return it if you no longer want to give it to her

RedTagAlan · 10/11/2025 16:37

Avon Skin so soft.

Works great to keep Scottish midges away, and Skye has a lot of them. I understand it can be difficult to find the correct one in midge season, so it's a great cheap gift for anyone planning a Highlands holiday.

Many outdoors folk swear by it, and by giving it as a gift, it shows thought in that you researched it. I used to buy it from a local Avon agent years ago, and it worked then.

Article linked here on what one works best. I think they changed some items in the range, so a quick google to find what one is best might be good.

blog.entomologist.net/which-skin-so-soft-repels-insects.html#:~:text=Avon%E2%80%99s%20Skin%20So%20Soft%20Bug%20Guard%20is%20an,and%20biting%20midges.%20It%20is%20hypoallergenic%20and%20dermatologist-tested.

Whaleandsnail6 · 10/11/2025 16:37

Yabu...Why not just agree not to do gifts this year.

My family now partake in secret santa, including the kids...we set a limit and each choose a thoughtful gift and open them all together on a "fake Christmas day" obviously we buy for our own children but I don't buy nieces and nephews anymore (and my sis doesn't buy mine), they are included in secret santa.

Saves drama and upset

TimetoPour · 10/11/2025 16:37

Twistedfirestarters · 10/11/2025 16:19

Is there some sort of weird Christmas present troll? This is very similar to the 'cutla quid' thread...

I was just thinking the same thing! Entitled family members expecting lavish gifts.

You have had your warning OP. Christmas is scaled back so these people can focus on
their own lives. You are not entitled to their money and neither are they to yours. Set a budget if you want to do tit for tat.

LydiaRidesAgain · 10/11/2025 16:37

I’m not keeping score, I’m simply pointing out that DSis set a precedent. If she wants to renegotiate the terms of the Christmas gifts, that’s fine, but I’m going to need notice, not just one month!

OP posts:
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