Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was really cheeky of my friend!

392 replies

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 15:02

So my friend has just told me that she’s “only gonna spend a cutla quid” (her words, not mine ) on my DS this Christmas because she’s “saving for Center Parcs next year.”

Now, I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but a cutla quid?? I actually thought she was joking at first. My DS is 7, not some random kid from school you pick up a selection box for. I always spend properly on her DD with last year it was a LEGO set, a book, and one of those slime-making kits that exploded glitter everywhere. Easily £25+.

So I said, “Oh right, just a couple of quid?” and she said, dead serious, “Yeah hun, can’t go mad this year, Center Parcs isn’t cheap.”

Sorry but since when did her holiday mean my son gets shortchanged?! It’s not my fault she wants to go be in a beige lodge with a swimming pool.

She’s now acting like I’m the unreasonable one for being “materialistic.” But surely it’s just basic decency to reciprocate roughly what someone else spends?

Would I be unreasonable to get her DD something from the pound shop this year and see how she likes it?

OP posts:
Bowies · 10/11/2025 20:06

Would you prefer she hadn’t said anything beforehand?

Now at least she’s given you a heads up to spend a much smaller amount on her DD this Christmas.

Agree both kids get eg Cadbury’s selection box.

Re your updates don’t accept lifts etc or meet for coffee then. Maybe the friendship has run its course as all seems a bit transactional.

AnotherNameChange2025 · 10/11/2025 19:59

“Cutla quid” just made me think of a quid cut up and envision a scenario like this…

To think this was really cheeky of my friend!
Catpiece · 10/11/2025 19:42

Ginagogo · 10/11/2025 18:50

Haha we say it in the north too! Made me laugh because I’ve never seen anyone write it Grin

Thank you! I thought it was just my Cockney lazy way of saying “couple of” x

Littlemisscat · 10/11/2025 19:41

FancyCatSlave · 10/11/2025 15:08

Get her a “chester draws”

😂😂😂😂

fairydustt · 10/11/2025 19:40

If I bought a gift at £25 for every friends child I’d easily spend £200 if not more and that’s before what I buy for my own child, my nieces and the rest of my family, there’s really no need to buy friends children a gift.. it’s nice to do but not necessary and tbh you do sound materialistic! And Why shouldn’t she spend her hard earned money on a holiday for herself!? Sorry but you can’t dictate how your friend spends her money.

TheTwitcher11 · 10/11/2025 19:39

BillieWiper · 10/11/2025 15:06

Just spend the same on her kid. She was giving warning so you could do so. But who the fuck says 'cutla' for a couple of?!

Cockneys lol

Teanbiscuits33 · 10/11/2025 19:38

I presume it’s the way the friend says ‘couple of quid’ when she’s talking quickly, so it’s meant to be ‘coupla quid’ but her accent makes the ‘p’ sound like ‘t’. Either that or she’s misheard other people saying it as cutla and copied it.

I’ve known people to say ’wah la’ instead of viola, or ‘tickle tackle’ instead of tittle tattle 🤣

Justgorgeous · 10/11/2025 19:35

Exploding glitter ? Why would you buy that ?

PersephonePomegranate · 10/11/2025 19:34

thebabessavedme · 10/11/2025 19:31

'cutla quid'😂 reminds me of someone I know who takes the kids 'trickle treating' 😂

Does she spend a cutla quid on sweets before taking her kids trickle treating? Are the kids' outfits kept in a Chester drawers?

Derbee · 10/11/2025 19:34

Errrm, if she’s giving you regular lifts for the school run, you SHOULD be contributing a bit to fuel.

Her holiday is more important than your child’s gift. That’s just a fact.

Either spend what each are happy to spend, or agree no presents this year.

ShiftingSand · 10/11/2025 19:33

I couldn’t be friends with someone who says “cutla”’😂

PersephonePomegranate · 10/11/2025 19:32

I'd be way more upset about 'cutla' than her budget.

thebabessavedme · 10/11/2025 19:31

'cutla quid'😂 reminds me of someone I know who takes the kids 'trickle treating' 😂

DarkPassenger1 · 10/11/2025 19:26

Do you usually miss social cues so drastically?

She's telling you she wants to reduce the budget on each other's kids, now, before you have bought anything. To avoid a scenario where you have spent £25 and she's spent £2 and it leads to resentment.

The correct response is 'yeah no worries, I'll do the same for yours, price of everything is madness now isn't it' or anything along those lines.

YABU for cutla. I'm embarrassed for you.

PistachioTiramisu · 10/11/2025 19:25

What is 'a cutla quid'? Never heard that before. Centre Parcs is the worst place ever, even worse than Butlins.

Cosyblankets · 10/11/2025 19:24

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 16:14

This isn’t just about a “cutla quid” or whatever. This has been building.

She has always been funny about money. She’ll “forget” her purse when we go for coffee, she’ll suggest splitting the bill “evenly” when she’s had the starter and dessert, and she once actually asked if I could “chip in” towards petrol for the school run lift she offered me?? Like sorry, are you my Uber now??

When I say it’s a transactional friendship, I mean literally. Everything with her is tit-for-tat. If I pick up her DD from afterschool club, she’ll make a big show of “owing me one” but if I ever ask her for the tiniest favour, she suddenly goes quiet or says she’s “busy babe.”

And yet when I try to be thoughtful she acts like I’m trying to buy her friendship. 🙄

So yes, maybe on the surface it’s “a bit of a storm in a teacup over a few quid,” but when it’s the latest in a long line of tightfisted nonsense, can you really blame me for being fed up??

None of that was mentioned in the OP.
you don't seem to like her very much
If you feel your child will miss out buy them an extra gift.
Most kids get more than enough anyway

Drimt · 10/11/2025 19:22

I really want to reply properly but I am dumbfounded by the word ‘cutla’. I am still processing my feelings as I genuinely don’t know how I feel about it.

nomas · 10/11/2025 19:20

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 16:14

This isn’t just about a “cutla quid” or whatever. This has been building.

She has always been funny about money. She’ll “forget” her purse when we go for coffee, she’ll suggest splitting the bill “evenly” when she’s had the starter and dessert, and she once actually asked if I could “chip in” towards petrol for the school run lift she offered me?? Like sorry, are you my Uber now??

When I say it’s a transactional friendship, I mean literally. Everything with her is tit-for-tat. If I pick up her DD from afterschool club, she’ll make a big show of “owing me one” but if I ever ask her for the tiniest favour, she suddenly goes quiet or says she’s “busy babe.”

And yet when I try to be thoughtful she acts like I’m trying to buy her friendship. 🙄

So yes, maybe on the surface it’s “a bit of a storm in a teacup over a few quid,” but when it’s the latest in a long line of tightfisted nonsense, can you really blame me for being fed up??

I figured it was something like this.

Stop being thoughtful or generous, just treat her like she treats you. Or dump her.

Sorry your thread turned into a pile on, most people can’t see beyond the end of their own nose here.

Tuesdayschild50 · 10/11/2025 19:20

No your the cheeky one ... I'd say don't buy gifts for each other's kids.
Money on a holiday is much better use of money maybe you should try it.
Get some sweets for each others kids it's plenty enough.

Bonjamin · 10/11/2025 19:18

OP, this entire thread is solely to make cutla happen, and cutla is not going to happen.

Loopylou7219 · 10/11/2025 19:17

P.s places like the pound shop can be great for parents on a budget, at Xmas you utter snob

Wingingit73 · 10/11/2025 19:14

She's right. Reel in the spending. Her holiday is more important for her. She's telling you to do the same

DaisyDoodler · 10/11/2025 19:12

RessicaJabbit · 10/11/2025 15:05

Maybe she hates you for the exploding glitter 😂😂😂

🤣🤣🤣

Mangetouts · 10/11/2025 19:12

It's an excellent opportunity to get away from buying presents for her child altogether. Not from meanness but it's just one less stressor.

Loopylou7219 · 10/11/2025 19:12

Your child has been shortchanged? Do you actually know how entitled you sound. Sounds to me like you're notoriously a pain for these type of conversations and she was trying to set some boundaries with you regarding presents. A good friend would surely say, "that's fine, let's agree on a ten pound limit" and hope they have a lovely holiday at centre parcs.