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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was really cheeky of my friend!

392 replies

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 15:02

So my friend has just told me that she’s “only gonna spend a cutla quid” (her words, not mine ) on my DS this Christmas because she’s “saving for Center Parcs next year.”

Now, I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but a cutla quid?? I actually thought she was joking at first. My DS is 7, not some random kid from school you pick up a selection box for. I always spend properly on her DD with last year it was a LEGO set, a book, and one of those slime-making kits that exploded glitter everywhere. Easily £25+.

So I said, “Oh right, just a couple of quid?” and she said, dead serious, “Yeah hun, can’t go mad this year, Center Parcs isn’t cheap.”

Sorry but since when did her holiday mean my son gets shortchanged?! It’s not my fault she wants to go be in a beige lodge with a swimming pool.

She’s now acting like I’m the unreasonable one for being “materialistic.” But surely it’s just basic decency to reciprocate roughly what someone else spends?

Would I be unreasonable to get her DD something from the pound shop this year and see how she likes it?

OP posts:
HopelesslyNaive98 · 10/11/2025 21:52

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:45

1)My DS only reads for school not pleasure
2) he’s got plenty of stationary
3) he doesn’t do art
4) he doesn’t like chocolate

It’s becoming wildly obvious that this is a wind up 🤣

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:45

HopelesslyNaive98 · 10/11/2025 21:44

A book? Stationary? Art and craft supplies? Chocolate?

1)My DS only reads for school not pleasure
2) he’s got plenty of stationary
3) he doesn’t do art
4) he doesn’t like chocolate

OP posts:
Conniebygaslight · 10/11/2025 21:45

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 10/11/2025 21:41

I think we’re all hanging on to find out what cutla means!!!

Is it really a thing people say? The OP said it with such conviction I thought it was.

HopelesslyNaive98 · 10/11/2025 21:44

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:42

Well what would you buy from WHsmith if you had a voucher for there?

A book? Stationary? Art and craft supplies? Chocolate?

Conniebygaslight · 10/11/2025 21:44

FancyCatSlave · 10/11/2025 15:08

Get her a “chester draws”

🤣🤣🤣

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:42

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 10/11/2025 21:40

So ungrateful!!

Well what would you buy from WHsmith if you had a voucher for there?

OP posts:
IridiumSky · 10/11/2025 21:41

SilverPink · 10/11/2025 15:50

OP is clearly just jealous she doesn’t have any jollies in a beige lodge with a swimming pool booked in

Lucky OP.

It sounds horrid.

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 10/11/2025 21:41

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:29

I mean you’re still here?

I think we’re all hanging on to find out what cutla means!!!

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 10/11/2025 21:40

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:31

Good for them, but I took my DS in there and the only thing he was interested in was the Bic coloured biros and a notebook. That was all a boy his age wants if they go to WHSmith. Meanwhile if he had a voucher for Smyths…

Edited

So ungrateful!!

PhuckTrump · 10/11/2025 21:35

Then get her kids the £2 Lindt bear/reindeer—the small one. Job done—it’s a couple of quid, and is “real chocolate.”

Sounds like you need to both re-evaluate this friendship and the gift giving for every event in the calendar.

Pixilicious1 · 10/11/2025 21:34

Another batshit OP
Who says cutla quid? Surely at least it would be cupla quid?? Where did the t come from?

Sartre · 10/11/2025 21:31

As many others have said, it’s far easier to just not buy gifts this year for each others DC. Tradition Schmition, who cares.

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:31

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 10/11/2025 21:27

Some people like WH Smith.

Good for them, but I took my DS in there and the only thing he was interested in was the Bic coloured biros and a notebook. That was all a boy his age wants if they go to WHSmith. Meanwhile if he had a voucher for Smyths…

OP posts:
LizzieW1969 · 10/11/2025 21:30

Nightlight8 · 10/11/2025 21:25

We are listening. It's you who is unwilling to take on board the majority of the comments. Your friends DD is a child, it is not compulsory to buy anybody a gift and your friend has other priorities. Its not a big deal. It does not matter if you think its "traditional". Your friend doesn't want to do gifts! My goodness.

^ This 100%. So what if it’s ’traditional’? Clearly, this ‘tradition’ is more of a thing for her than for you. It really is OTT to spend so much money on her DD, especially as you obviously don’t really like her.

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:29

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 10/11/2025 21:27

You are so irritating OP 🤣

I mean you’re still here?

OP posts:
Heartofglass12345 · 10/11/2025 21:29

You sound like you don’t like her very much at all so I don’t know why you even bother

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 10/11/2025 21:27

Some people like WH Smith.

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 10/11/2025 21:27

You are so irritating OP 🤣

RessicaJabbit · 10/11/2025 21:26

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:19

Right but she said “cutla quid” so surely that means £2?

So what?

Just spend whatever you want.

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 10/11/2025 21:25

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:19

Right but she said “cutla quid” so surely that means £2?

We’ve no idea as nobody seems to know what cutla means. Is it slang?

Nightlight8 · 10/11/2025 21:25

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:11

I love how no one is listening to my other comments so what’s the point

We are listening. It's you who is unwilling to take on board the majority of the comments. Your friends DD is a child, it is not compulsory to buy anybody a gift and your friend has other priorities. Its not a big deal. It does not matter if you think its "traditional". Your friend doesn't want to do gifts! My goodness.

mydogisanidiott · 10/11/2025 21:25

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:03

Just when I thought I’d said everything… I suddenly remembered another moment that probably says a lot about the kind of nonsense I’ve had to deal with from her circle.

this was about two years ago. I’d got her DC a little Easter gift. Nothing major, just a cute basket with some bits in, including a chocolate bunny from Aldi. Looked lovely, tasted fine!

Anyway, fast-forward a week and one of her friends (who I barely know) apparently kicked off in their group chat because I “could have at least got proper chocolate.” Proper meaning… Lindt. 😑

Sorry, but I’m not exactly handing out chocolate coins from a petrol station forecourt, am I?! It was Easter, not a Michelin tasting menu.

So between that, the WHSmith voucher, and the “cutla quid” comment, you can maybe see why I’m a teensy bit trigger-happy on the outrage lately 😂

Why are you friends with her if she and her friends are bitching about you in their WhatsApp group chat.

I think this friendship means more to you than here (see also: lifts and favours)

at least she told you rather than just take the gift and not get yours anything.

but like EVERYONE has said -kids don’t need thoughtful/expensive l gifts from parents friends. A box of heroes or selection box is fine.

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 10/11/2025 21:24

Is cutla a thing?? Or are you making fun of how she speaks?

it sounds like she has less of a budget than you or has different expectations?

how long have you known her (sorry if this has already been said)?

I think she’s given you a heads up so that you can match it. Maybe just some chocolate or something. But it also sounds like the gifts should just stop as nobody seems to be enjoying this!!

do you even like them? You are also taking a swipe at her holiday choice?

TheAlertLimeSnail · 10/11/2025 21:22

@BreezyFish it's because you've drip fed.

In regard to what your OP is about then based on all the extra information you've given I would just suggest to your friend that you don't do Christmas presents anymore. Either she's a CF and has been taking advantage of your genorosity or she's embarrassed that you spent £25 last year and she only spent £5, so she's telling you now what the budget is. Either way, it seems this tradition has run it's course.

MissDoubleU · 10/11/2025 21:21

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:19

Right but she said “cutla quid” so surely that means £2?

I already asked what the actual fuck cutla quid means because genuinely - wtf.

But really, Give her child two quid in a card then? Why do you feel owed?? She isn’t an aunt to these kids, she’s a friend and has her own kids to but for. You need a reality check