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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was really cheeky of my friend!

392 replies

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 15:02

So my friend has just told me that she’s “only gonna spend a cutla quid” (her words, not mine ) on my DS this Christmas because she’s “saving for Center Parcs next year.”

Now, I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but a cutla quid?? I actually thought she was joking at first. My DS is 7, not some random kid from school you pick up a selection box for. I always spend properly on her DD with last year it was a LEGO set, a book, and one of those slime-making kits that exploded glitter everywhere. Easily £25+.

So I said, “Oh right, just a couple of quid?” and she said, dead serious, “Yeah hun, can’t go mad this year, Center Parcs isn’t cheap.”

Sorry but since when did her holiday mean my son gets shortchanged?! It’s not my fault she wants to go be in a beige lodge with a swimming pool.

She’s now acting like I’m the unreasonable one for being “materialistic.” But surely it’s just basic decency to reciprocate roughly what someone else spends?

Would I be unreasonable to get her DD something from the pound shop this year and see how she likes it?

OP posts:
vickylou78 · 10/11/2025 22:36

Seems to me you are overthinking this.....your friend has said that she's only spending a few quid on your DS. So she's being up front so that you don't spend too much on her daughter. It's totally fine to set expectations like that.

Your friends priorities are different, clearly she would rather spend money saving for the family holiday than buying gifts for friends children...can't say I blame her!

Just spend less this year too (a selection box or something) and get on and enjoy life!

Ellebelle01 · 10/11/2025 22:35

For Christ sake what is this BS

Tistheseason17 · 10/11/2025 22:33

Maybe she meant cutlass? 😉☠️🦜⚔️

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 22:32

Right can we just drop this now!!! You’ve all made your point I’ll tell her tomorrow “no more gifts”

so anyways have you all got any stories of pain in the arse friends?

OP posts:
Todayisanewbeginning · 10/11/2025 22:30

Just buy her kid an inexpensive gift. It’s the thought that counts.

It’s ok for her to have other priorities than kids presents. Also most kids are perfectly happy with a cheap present.

vickylou78 · 10/11/2025 22:29

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:31

Good for them, but I took my DS in there and the only thing he was interested in was the Bic coloured biros and a notebook. That was all a boy his age wants if they go to WHSmith. Meanwhile if he had a voucher for Smyths…

Edited

I don't get this....are you saying there wasn't one book in WHSmith that your son could have bought?? A book voucher or WHSmith voucher is fine as a little gift for anyone!

99bottlesofkombucha · 10/11/2025 22:28

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:11

I love how no one is listening to my other comments so what’s the point

Well, you’re not listening to anyone’s comments yourself. It’s not tradition, she’s a tightwad, and if you have any self respect you say I’ve been thinking , you’re totally right and we won’t do gifts for the kids this year. They all get lots anyway.

dont ask, tell. Make your life easier by removing a source of resentment. Which also means you should distance yourself. Don’t go out to dinner with people who will try and land you the bill!!

shuggles · 10/11/2025 22:20

@BreezyFish What on earth is "cutla"?

Cuttlefish?

DetectiveDouche · 10/11/2025 22:18

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 22:10

Tbf I’ve only said it a cutla times

Do you think she maybe said "coupla" and you're a little deaf? 🤔

Dissappearedupmyownarse · 10/11/2025 22:17

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 15:02

So my friend has just told me that she’s “only gonna spend a cutla quid” (her words, not mine ) on my DS this Christmas because she’s “saving for Center Parcs next year.”

Now, I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but a cutla quid?? I actually thought she was joking at first. My DS is 7, not some random kid from school you pick up a selection box for. I always spend properly on her DD with last year it was a LEGO set, a book, and one of those slime-making kits that exploded glitter everywhere. Easily £25+.

So I said, “Oh right, just a couple of quid?” and she said, dead serious, “Yeah hun, can’t go mad this year, Center Parcs isn’t cheap.”

Sorry but since when did her holiday mean my son gets shortchanged?! It’s not my fault she wants to go be in a beige lodge with a swimming pool.

She’s now acting like I’m the unreasonable one for being “materialistic.” But surely it’s just basic decency to reciprocate roughly what someone else spends?

Would I be unreasonable to get her DD something from the pound shop this year and see how she likes it?

She's a friend, not an immediate blood relative ffs.
Just respond with something like 'oh ok, no problem. I understand that your family holiday comes first, so maybe we could set a spend limit on gifts for each other/our children this year of say £5 each?'
Drama over

DetectiveDouche · 10/11/2025 22:16

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 22:10

What’s the 🤢 for? I just have my opinions on financial practice

It indicates MY opinion (you tend to get others opinions, posting on a forum) that your attitudes around "financial practice" are gross. You are completely missing the point of exchanging gifts. Your obsession with monetary value and what you consider "proper spending" are sickening

Anxietybummer · 10/11/2025 22:13

BillieWiper · 10/11/2025 15:06

Just spend the same on her kid. She was giving warning so you could do so. But who the fuck says 'cutla' for a couple of?!

Every word of this!

BuckChuckets · 10/11/2025 22:11

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 22:10

Tbf I’ve only said it a cutla times

😂😂😂

OK, wind up, fair enough 😂

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 22:10

BuckChuckets · 10/11/2025 22:09

Please stop saying cutla quid because you're nowhere near the actual word and it makes me want to die every time I read it 😂

Tbf I’ve only said it a cutla times

OP posts:
BuckChuckets · 10/11/2025 22:10

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:42

Well what would you buy from WHsmith if you had a voucher for there?

Maybe your son could treat you to a dictionary?

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 22:10

DetectiveDouche · 10/11/2025 22:06

"I spend properly.." 🤢 Ugh. How tiresome and ick. Worse than "cutla". Materialistic clap trap.

What’s the 🤢 for? I just have my opinions on financial practice

OP posts:
BuckChuckets · 10/11/2025 22:09

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:19

Right but she said “cutla quid” so surely that means £2?

Please stop saying cutla quid because you're nowhere near the actual word and it makes me want to die every time I read it 😂

YetAnotherAlias62 · 10/11/2025 22:09

I honestly haven't heard "cutla" before - do you mean "couple a"? Iike a couple of quid?
Just take this as your opportunity to tell her not to worry about getting your child anything, you don't get her child a present either, you and she presumably don't buy presents for each other anyway (?) then it's clear and simple.

ttcat37 · 10/11/2025 22:09

I’ve never heard ‘cutla’ instead of, presumably, ‘couple of’. Is it regional slang?

JayJayj · 10/11/2025 22:07

Just say let’s not buy this year.

We normally get my friends children gifts. This year we are skint due to some large unexpected expenses. So we have agreed not to exchange gifts. I will however make them cookies or fudge as a token gift.

DetectiveDouche · 10/11/2025 22:06

"I spend properly.." 🤢 Ugh. How tiresome and ick. Worse than "cutla". Materialistic clap trap.

AgnesMcDoo · 10/11/2025 22:06

YABVU

of course her family holiday is more important

just scale back on what you spend or better yet agree not to buy for each others kids

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:55

BMW6 · 10/11/2025 21:54

It means OP is poor at grammar and no doubt says "I think" as "I fink".

You know nuffink about my education!!

OP posts:
BMW6 · 10/11/2025 21:54

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 10/11/2025 21:41

I think we’re all hanging on to find out what cutla means!!!

It means OP is poor at grammar and no doubt says "I think" as "I fink".

briq · 10/11/2025 21:53

I'd view it as a heads-up so that you can match her spending limit. Obviously you don't buy an expensive gift for her child when she's spending little, but there's no reason to be annoyed unless she's expecting you to spend more.

But after reading everything else, I wonder why you're even friends. She seems to annoy you, so maybe cooling things would be best, or at least stopping the gift exchanges. It's a tradition? Well, all things must come to an end, so why not this? Either the kids are young, in which case the tradition can't be long-standing, or the kids are getting older, so it's a good time to stop. They won't be exchanging gifts (via you and your friend) into their 20s, will they? I'd end the nonsense now.