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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this was really cheeky of my friend!

392 replies

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 15:02

So my friend has just told me that she’s “only gonna spend a cutla quid” (her words, not mine ) on my DS this Christmas because she’s “saving for Center Parcs next year.”

Now, I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but a cutla quid?? I actually thought she was joking at first. My DS is 7, not some random kid from school you pick up a selection box for. I always spend properly on her DD with last year it was a LEGO set, a book, and one of those slime-making kits that exploded glitter everywhere. Easily £25+.

So I said, “Oh right, just a couple of quid?” and she said, dead serious, “Yeah hun, can’t go mad this year, Center Parcs isn’t cheap.”

Sorry but since when did her holiday mean my son gets shortchanged?! It’s not my fault she wants to go be in a beige lodge with a swimming pool.

She’s now acting like I’m the unreasonable one for being “materialistic.” But surely it’s just basic decency to reciprocate roughly what someone else spends?

Would I be unreasonable to get her DD something from the pound shop this year and see how she likes it?

OP posts:
Franjipanl8r · 11/11/2025 01:07

I’ve never bought my friends kids Xmas presents and never will. I didn’t even realise this was a thing.

BaalSatanas · 11/11/2025 00:58

I find it bizarre that so many on here don’t realise the friend said “couple a” as in “a couple of quid”.

It’s quite simple she’s told you the limit, that’s telling you how much you should spend on hers. If I was you I would give your child the extra, maybe even as cash in the stocking that they can buy themself sumfin wiv.

Hedgehogbrown · 11/11/2025 00:29

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:03

Just when I thought I’d said everything… I suddenly remembered another moment that probably says a lot about the kind of nonsense I’ve had to deal with from her circle.

this was about two years ago. I’d got her DC a little Easter gift. Nothing major, just a cute basket with some bits in, including a chocolate bunny from Aldi. Looked lovely, tasted fine!

Anyway, fast-forward a week and one of her friends (who I barely know) apparently kicked off in their group chat because I “could have at least got proper chocolate.” Proper meaning… Lindt. 😑

Sorry, but I’m not exactly handing out chocolate coins from a petrol station forecourt, am I?! It was Easter, not a Michelin tasting menu.

So between that, the WHSmith voucher, and the “cutla quid” comment, you can maybe see why I’m a teensy bit trigger-happy on the outrage lately 😂

Show quote history

🤣 🤣 🤣

HMW19061 · 10/11/2025 23:53

She’s prioritising her child/family by saving her money to pay for a trip for them…YABU for not respecting that.

Either agree a budget you’re both happy with or knock buying presents for the kids on the head.

Bumcake · 10/11/2025 23:37

You don’t like her, so just bin her off. I hope I never hear cutla again as long as I live.

Strictlycomeparent · 10/11/2025 23:35

YABU - she’s telling you so that you can give an equivalent level gift. I don’t buy presents for any friends children at Christmas, nor do they, mine. Not because we don’t love each other but because Christmas is pricey enough.

Lavender14 · 10/11/2025 23:34

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 16:14

This isn’t just about a “cutla quid” or whatever. This has been building.

She has always been funny about money. She’ll “forget” her purse when we go for coffee, she’ll suggest splitting the bill “evenly” when she’s had the starter and dessert, and she once actually asked if I could “chip in” towards petrol for the school run lift she offered me?? Like sorry, are you my Uber now??

When I say it’s a transactional friendship, I mean literally. Everything with her is tit-for-tat. If I pick up her DD from afterschool club, she’ll make a big show of “owing me one” but if I ever ask her for the tiniest favour, she suddenly goes quiet or says she’s “busy babe.”

And yet when I try to be thoughtful she acts like I’m trying to buy her friendship. 🙄

So yes, maybe on the surface it’s “a bit of a storm in a teacup over a few quid,” but when it’s the latest in a long line of tightfisted nonsense, can you really blame me for being fed up??

I think yabu for such a drip feed lol.

If that's the case then just take a big step back and give her less of your time. Easy.

Blinky21 · 10/11/2025 23:32

Cutla her off, she sounds like a rubbish friend anyway

suki1964 · 10/11/2025 23:29

Im just gob smacked that people expect friends to buy their children presents?

Empress13 · 10/11/2025 23:27

FancyCatSlave · 10/11/2025 15:08

Get her a “chester draws”

🤣🤣 yeh she should of lol

TeenLifeMum · 10/11/2025 23:26

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 22:32

Right can we just drop this now!!! You’ve all made your point I’ll tell her tomorrow “no more gifts”

so anyways have you all got any stories of pain in the arse friends?

No, I’m not friends with people who are pains in the arse, haven’t got the time, energy or inclination. I surround myself with kind and positive people (we don’t get each other’s dc gifts though - it would cost a bomb as we all have 3-4 each)

JustSawJohnny · 10/11/2025 23:24

What kind of entitled shit is this?!!

Just spend less on her kids and move the feck on.

Jeeeeezus 🙄

TeenLifeMum · 10/11/2025 23:23

😂😂😂 yeah, why would the op’s son want a WHSmith voucher… anyone else not shocked her son doesn’t like books? Just agree to stop gifts for friends. Who the fuck prioritises a friend’s dc over taking their own family on holiday? Listen to her very clear boundaries and set some of your own.

sprigatito · 10/11/2025 23:11

Would I be unreasonable to get her DD something from the pound shop this year and see how she likes it?

Why can’t you see that this is exactly what she’s hoping you’ll do? Only she would like you to do it with a good grace, rather than centring yourself and your own very narrow values?

It’s not a business transaction. She doesn’t owe your son a fixed portion of her budget, and she’s allowed to have different priorities that are based on her own family’s benefit rather than yours. Lots of people are trying to dial down the Christmas spending frenzy and use their limited funds differently - surely you are aware of that?

She doesn’t owe you an expensive gesture. You, however, owe her a little more respect and grace than you’re showing here.

Ratafia · 10/11/2025 23:07

I'd bin her off for "cutla" and "Hun". Seriously, dealing with that sort of thing sets my teeth on edge.

Nightlight8 · 10/11/2025 23:06

Bumblebeehee · 10/11/2025 22:57

Lol to your friend mispronouncing words… “cutla”!!

i think the English slang word “cuppla” actually originates (or linked) from the Irish language meaning a few (we say “cupla”)
So I think if you say “cuppla quid” to an Irish person we interpret this as a few quid not £2.

So I think it depends who you speak to here and where you are from.

Anyways, YABU OP. She doesn’t sound like a good friend so I’d move on.

Edited

Oh dear

Moonlightdust · 10/11/2025 23:06

PumpkinTwistyWindToots · 10/11/2025 15:07

It's so unnecessary to buy gifts for friends' children. Let it go. And what the hell is cutla? Did she make that up or did you?

This.

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 10/11/2025 23:00

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:11

I love how no one is listening to my other comments so what’s the point

Drop her as a friend. If she asks why, tell her friendship is give and take, not she-take and you-give.

Use the money you'd spend on her and or her daughter and take your DS somewhere fun for an outing.

She's NOT a friend. She's a user, and you just keep helping her use you.

Bumblebeehee · 10/11/2025 22:57

Lol to your friend mispronouncing words… “cutla”!!

i think the English slang word “cuppla” actually originates (or linked) from the Irish language meaning a few (we say “cupla”)
So I think if you say “cuppla quid” to an Irish person we interpret this as a few quid not £2.

So I think it depends who you speak to here and where you are from.

Anyways, YABU OP. She doesn’t sound like a good friend so I’d move on.

ilovesushi · 10/11/2025 22:56

She has given you advance notice that she's not up for spending loads on presents this year because she's saving for a holiday. Nothing wrong with that. She's let you know so you aren't out of kilter with budgets.

GeorgeandAsh · 10/11/2025 22:49

I carefully read your OP and updates. YABU, nasty and are clearly not her friend. Do her a favour and leave her alone or have an honest conversation and stop talking behind her back then she'd know what you think of her.

Wreckinball · 10/11/2025 22:47

OP she’s a good mate!
She’s told you in advance not to spend loads on her DC as yours is getting sod all from her.
If she was a cowbag she’d not say a word, scoop up your present then say ah not reciprocating this year see ya

Clipclophair · 10/11/2025 22:46

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 22:32

Right can we just drop this now!!! You’ve all made your point I’ll tell her tomorrow “no more gifts”

so anyways have you all got any stories of pain in the arse friends?

Yeah I’ve got a friend who posts bullshit about me a cutla times all over the internet. It’s a real pita.

so I am distancing myself coz I want nuffink to do with them.

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 10/11/2025 22:45

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 22:32

Right can we just drop this now!!! You’ve all made your point I’ll tell her tomorrow “no more gifts”

so anyways have you all got any stories of pain in the arse friends?

You're the one that hasn't shut up whinging the entire thread!

I mean so far it sounds like YOU'RE the pain in the arse friend if this wasn't a load of shite

AzureCats · 10/11/2025 22:40

It's cuppla / couple of. I absolutely refuse to believe anyone in this fair isle uses the phrase cutla. Ffs. Thanks for raising my blood pressure right before bed op.

She doesn't want to do presents anymore. She's told you very uneloquently but get over it. Move on, job done.