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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was really cheeky of my friend!

392 replies

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 15:02

So my friend has just told me that she’s “only gonna spend a cutla quid” (her words, not mine ) on my DS this Christmas because she’s “saving for Center Parcs next year.”

Now, I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but a cutla quid?? I actually thought she was joking at first. My DS is 7, not some random kid from school you pick up a selection box for. I always spend properly on her DD with last year it was a LEGO set, a book, and one of those slime-making kits that exploded glitter everywhere. Easily £25+.

So I said, “Oh right, just a couple of quid?” and she said, dead serious, “Yeah hun, can’t go mad this year, Center Parcs isn’t cheap.”

Sorry but since when did her holiday mean my son gets shortchanged?! It’s not my fault she wants to go be in a beige lodge with a swimming pool.

She’s now acting like I’m the unreasonable one for being “materialistic.” But surely it’s just basic decency to reciprocate roughly what someone else spends?

Would I be unreasonable to get her DD something from the pound shop this year and see how she likes it?

OP posts:
BeardOToots · 11/11/2025 10:09

Mumsnet is getting madder. Another rage bait thread that can’t possibly be real!

nomas · 11/11/2025 10:08

BreezyFish · 11/11/2025 08:36

Okay so after all the advice (and my brain doing Olympic-level overthinking), I finally decided to just bite the bullet.

I messaged her this morning saying:

“Hey, it’s probably best if we just don’t do gifts for the kids this year ❤️.”

Nice, neutral, no drama. I even added the heart so it didn’t sound frosty.

Anyway. She’s read it.
Two blue ticks.
No reply.

I’m giving her till tomorrow to reply. If she still hasn’t replied by then, I might just send a follow-up saying “No worries, hope you’re okay xx”.

Honestly, at this point, the emotional labour of this friendship deserves its own line on my CV.

Sounds like she was expecting you to keep spending £25 whilst she spends £2.

Well swerved! Don't message her again.

And if she doesn't reply, don't even bother getting a selection box or card.

MindfulCat · 11/11/2025 10:07

BreezyFish · 11/11/2025 08:36

Okay so after all the advice (and my brain doing Olympic-level overthinking), I finally decided to just bite the bullet.

I messaged her this morning saying:

“Hey, it’s probably best if we just don’t do gifts for the kids this year ❤️.”

Nice, neutral, no drama. I even added the heart so it didn’t sound frosty.

Anyway. She’s read it.
Two blue ticks.
No reply.

I’m giving her till tomorrow to reply. If she still hasn’t replied by then, I might just send a follow-up saying “No worries, hope you’re okay xx”.

Honestly, at this point, the emotional labour of this friendship deserves its own line on my CV.

This is a very 'Chat GPT' style post.

Calling BS on all this. Why on earth do people sit and make this stuff up? Genuinely curious...

78e22387FFGH · 11/11/2025 10:05

What are you "following up"? A "no worries" message to your own message 🤔?

Just leave it

TheatricalLife · 11/11/2025 09:53

BreezyFish · 11/11/2025 08:36

Okay so after all the advice (and my brain doing Olympic-level overthinking), I finally decided to just bite the bullet.

I messaged her this morning saying:

“Hey, it’s probably best if we just don’t do gifts for the kids this year ❤️.”

Nice, neutral, no drama. I even added the heart so it didn’t sound frosty.

Anyway. She’s read it.
Two blue ticks.
No reply.

I’m giving her till tomorrow to reply. If she still hasn’t replied by then, I might just send a follow-up saying “No worries, hope you’re okay xx”.

Honestly, at this point, the emotional labour of this friendship deserves its own line on my CV.

I wouldn't bother with a follow up message. There's no need.

nosleepforme · 11/11/2025 09:25

BreezyFish · 11/11/2025 08:36

Okay so after all the advice (and my brain doing Olympic-level overthinking), I finally decided to just bite the bullet.

I messaged her this morning saying:

“Hey, it’s probably best if we just don’t do gifts for the kids this year ❤️.”

Nice, neutral, no drama. I even added the heart so it didn’t sound frosty.

Anyway. She’s read it.
Two blue ticks.
No reply.

I’m giving her till tomorrow to reply. If she still hasn’t replied by then, I might just send a follow-up saying “No worries, hope you’re okay xx”.

Honestly, at this point, the emotional labour of this friendship deserves its own line on my CV.

That’s quite passive aggressive.

Mothership4two · 11/11/2025 09:11

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 20:57

The thing is it’s tradition

Maybe talk to her about breaking the tradtion? "As you are trying to save money, lets stop giving the kids presents from now on". Your relationship doesn't sound equal or fair and you seem to always end up the loser (plus she and her friend don't sound very nice).

PersephonePomegranate · 11/11/2025 09:03

You clearly dont like her and her gifts are not up to your standards, so stop buying them for each other.

Is part of your tradition also bitching about what shes got your DS? Is that the part your reluctant to let go of?!

LizzieW1969 · 11/11/2025 08:59

suki1964 · 10/11/2025 23:29

Im just gob smacked that people expect friends to buy their children presents?

Me too, I only ever bought Christmas presents for my DDs, and nephews and nieces. I used to buy other children presents when my DDs were going to friends’ birthday parties.

BreezyFish · 11/11/2025 08:36

Okay so after all the advice (and my brain doing Olympic-level overthinking), I finally decided to just bite the bullet.

I messaged her this morning saying:

“Hey, it’s probably best if we just don’t do gifts for the kids this year ❤️.”

Nice, neutral, no drama. I even added the heart so it didn’t sound frosty.

Anyway. She’s read it.
Two blue ticks.
No reply.

I’m giving her till tomorrow to reply. If she still hasn’t replied by then, I might just send a follow-up saying “No worries, hope you’re okay xx”.

Honestly, at this point, the emotional labour of this friendship deserves its own line on my CV.

OP posts:
Macaroni46 · 11/11/2025 08:24

Just stop being her friend. You clearly don’t like her.

Change2banon · 11/11/2025 07:51

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 22:32

Right can we just drop this now!!! You’ve all made your point I’ll tell her tomorrow “no more gifts”

so anyways have you all got any stories of pain in the arse friends?

You really think anyone’s going to entertain you after this wind up? 😵‍💫😵‍💫

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 11/11/2025 07:36

@BreezyFish😘

chickenfucker · 11/11/2025 07:08

I'm not friends with people I don't like, or who slag me off in group chats for what I buy their kids. Try it, it's liberating. Only be friends with people who genuinely like you.

nomas · 11/11/2025 06:31

Monty27 · 11/11/2025 06:27

Just seeking clarification @nomas if that's OK with you?

What do you mean is it ok with me? In what sense?

Monty27 · 11/11/2025 06:27

Nevernonono · 11/11/2025 06:01

Are you saying that “cutla” was spelling error?? 🤣🤣

Just seeking clarification @nomas if that's OK with you?

Nevernonono · 11/11/2025 06:01

nomas · 11/11/2025 05:52

It is weird show everyone only wants to correct OP’s spelling but everyone else gets a free pass.

Are you saying that “cutla” was spelling error?? 🤣🤣

nomas · 11/11/2025 05:52

HopelesslyNaive98 · 10/11/2025 21:44

A book? Stationary? Art and craft supplies? Chocolate?

It is weird show everyone only wants to correct OP’s spelling but everyone else gets a free pass.

Betty1625 · 11/11/2025 05:43

I clocked yabu but other posts show deeper issue than one present.
Do you want to keep her as a friend? Do you enjoy spending time with her? If the only issue are gifts then yes hust spend "cutla" quid on hed dd this year. But sounds like there are other grudges, I would phase her out

GardenGateGossip · 11/11/2025 02:55

Does "a cutla quid" mean a couple of quid?

Just arskin cuz I'se not sure.

Monty27 · 11/11/2025 02:53

Who why and where does anyone say cutla @BreezyFish ?

LondonGirrrrl · 11/11/2025 01:50

Reverse

its fine and normal to buy the kids selection boxes

Stressedoutmummyof3 · 11/11/2025 01:38

If someone brought my child exploding glitter I'd tell them not to bother with presents again. £25 is a stupid amount to spend on a friend's child. My best friends kids get a selection box and she gets the same for mine. I wouldn't care if she said she was going to stop though.

TesChique · 11/11/2025 01:36

Jesus. Grabby much?

Between my close circle of friends there are 13 kids. That is 325 quid before i even start on my own / my family by your logic.

That can fuck off.

I buy for none of them, and they dont buy for mine, and everyones happy.

Nevernonono · 11/11/2025 01:11

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 21:31

Good for them, but I took my DS in there and the only thing he was interested in was the Bic coloured biros and a notebook. That was all a boy his age wants if they go to WHSmith. Meanwhile if he had a voucher for Smyths…

Edited

Well you’re a mug then! Your “DF” doesn’t buy your DS anything meaningful, yet you’re chasing her round hoping she’ll do better this year?

Why are you acting like that? Are you desperate to have friends, that apparently are not good enough for you?

Try making better friend, with a cutla other people?

Do you have any other friends?

All you do is moan about her.