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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was really cheeky of my friend!

392 replies

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 15:02

So my friend has just told me that she’s “only gonna spend a cutla quid” (her words, not mine ) on my DS this Christmas because she’s “saving for Center Parcs next year.”

Now, I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but a cutla quid?? I actually thought she was joking at first. My DS is 7, not some random kid from school you pick up a selection box for. I always spend properly on her DD with last year it was a LEGO set, a book, and one of those slime-making kits that exploded glitter everywhere. Easily £25+.

So I said, “Oh right, just a couple of quid?” and she said, dead serious, “Yeah hun, can’t go mad this year, Center Parcs isn’t cheap.”

Sorry but since when did her holiday mean my son gets shortchanged?! It’s not my fault she wants to go be in a beige lodge with a swimming pool.

She’s now acting like I’m the unreasonable one for being “materialistic.” But surely it’s just basic decency to reciprocate roughly what someone else spends?

Would I be unreasonable to get her DD something from the pound shop this year and see how she likes it?

OP posts:
Helpwithdivorce · 10/11/2025 15:08

Wtf? Firstly you don’t give to receive and secondly you’re lucky she buys your kid anything! She’s told you what she’s spending if you want to be petty just spend the same amount. She’s saving for a holiday for her family. Which comes well above presents for your spoilt kid

QuietCorner · 10/11/2025 15:08

She's letting you know well in advance so you don't go and overspend on her child.

toomuchfaff · 10/11/2025 15:08

She is informing you of a boundary she is setting.

She doesnt want to buy expensive gifts, you are free to do as you please but you know what to expect.

YABU because you take this as a personal affront of what you think she should spend on your child. Very entitled of you to spend other peoples money on your children. Go along with her boundary and buy something similar, but dont judge her for making the decision to not buy expensive gifts.

purplecorkheart · 10/11/2025 15:08

Just get her daughter a selection box or similar. To be honest it sounds like you went a bit ott last year for a friend's child. You can always use the money you save to get an extra gift for your son if you are so upset.

FancyCatSlave · 10/11/2025 15:08

Get her a “chester draws”

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 10/11/2025 15:08

She’s just changing the budget for both of you. She’d rather go to center paces with the money than get more shite for her kid.

Don’t blame her, tbh.

‘Cutla’ is vvvvvvvv UR

PumpkinTwistyWindToots · 10/11/2025 15:07

It's so unnecessary to buy gifts for friends' children. Let it go. And what the hell is cutla? Did she make that up or did you?

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 10/11/2025 15:07

Pretty obvious that she wants to agree in advance that both of you cut back on the amount you spend.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 10/11/2025 15:07

YANBU to reciprocate in kind, she has clearly set he expectations, just match this when you get her child's gift.

holjam · 10/11/2025 15:07

You’re being very unreasonable. Why are you placing an expectation on your friend to provide a gift for your child? Granted, she could have worded it a bit better to you!

Sparkletastic · 10/11/2025 15:06

No gift exchange this year - I sense you were keener on that tradition than she was

BillieWiper · 10/11/2025 15:06

Just spend the same on her kid. She was giving warning so you could do so. But who the fuck says 'cutla' for a couple of?!

Bimblebombles · 10/11/2025 15:05

She was probably telling you so that you don't go overboard and buy her child expensive gifts? Probably felt overwhelmed by the gifts last year and feels she can't reciprocate?

The only thing she is unreasonable for is the use of the word "cutla"

Pipersouth · 10/11/2025 15:05

She’s asking you /telling you that presents have to be much smaller this year. You get hers smaller and she gets yours smaller - respect the fact that she’s been upfront with you. People are struggling (whatever they are keeping the pounds close for)

NConthe · 10/11/2025 15:05

YABU for the “cutla”

A selection box is fine for friends kids

RessicaJabbit · 10/11/2025 15:05

Maybe she hates you for the exploding glitter 😂😂😂

RessicaJabbit · 10/11/2025 15:04

Well, why not just agree not to buy any gifts for the kids this year?

Presumably your child will receive gifts from other people and not just your friend?