To think this was really cheeky of my friend!

I think it’s a good thing that she’s told you in advance what she’s spending on your DS. Christmas isn’t cheap, I wouldn’t even expect my friend to buy my child presents but when they do I am grateful for anything.

Just agree to do little token gifts from now on.

Please don’t be one of the “I spend £35 so expect the same back” sort of people. That’s your choice to make

Did i read this right? How bloody entitled are you OP? She can spend what she likes on your dc and doesn’t have to buy anything at all, shes not even a relative so you are lucky she buys for your dc regardless on whether you buy for hers- that is your choice, how would you feel if she said “oh you can’t have the holiday you want with your dc because you have to buy my dc a decent gift at Christmas” im genuinely gobsmacked at the audacity of this post.

Good for her.

Your son is not being ‘shortchanged’ is he? She’s setting the expectations now that she’s buying your child a cheaper present so you don’t go overboard. She clearly knows you give to receive.

YABVU and grossly materialistic, which I think you know.

It has never occurred to me to but Christmas presents for my friends’ children! Or the friends of my children, for that matter. Do people do this?!?

However, accepting that you do have a history of buying for each other’s children, she is telling you that you should each just buy a token gift for the kids as money is tight for her. I don’t blame her for saying that she wants to cut back the reciprocal gift giving because she values a holiday experience for their family more than getting £25 worth of glitter from you in exchange for whatever she would spend on her kid.

I don’t think she is cheeky at all. She’s letting you know she is prioritising her own family holiday over other people’s Christmas.

Ask her how much the budget is this year and do the same.

I think you are cheeky expecting your friend to cough up money she can’t afford.

People have a cutla reasons to make up fake scenarios

You bought her kid exploding glitter. That's what enemies do. WTF.

She's saving for a special holiday for her kid and is cutting her spending. That's responsible and she's being a good mom setting priorities. 👍

Yes, you can cut your spending on her child too. But you're unreasonable for giving exploding glitter and resenting that she isn't spending a lot of money on your kid.

What’s with all the ridiculous threads at the minute. Honestly who has time to make up so many obviously fake scenarios.

This has to be a wind up.

I get my best friends kids nothing. They get mine nothing. No one cares

She is allowed to go on holiday- good for her. And without question- if I bothered to buy presents for my friends children- it would be the first thing I’d axe to save up. Times are tough out there.

She's been clear on her budget so you cam reciprocate for her DD. Simples

That’s how I’d take it.

Get her DD a chocolate Santa or similar. That is all that is needed for friends’ DC.

This is definitely a reverse 😄🍿

Well, particularly at “friend’s child” level rather than nephew/niece/young cousin, I don’t think Christmas should be turned in to a series of arguments about values of gifts. I think YABU although perhaps the friend could have been a bit more subtle about it.

I just bought a selection box for my best friend of 20 years' son. <hangs head in shame>

Ignoring the "Cutla Quid" and how cringe that sounds, how exactly is your son being short changed? It's not like he's in debt to her and she's paying him back for something. He has lost absolutely zero in this deal.

Money is tight for a lot of people and yes, Centre Parcs is expensive. and to be frank, perhaps its the way you've worded it more than anything but your OP smacks of entitlement.

YANBU, get her dd a box of Maltesers sharers for £2. Job done!

Do NOT spend more than £2!

I was considering that it was an indirect way to ask you to spend less for her to match. Maybe the £25 is too much for her this year.

Personally I didn't see it as cheeky.. more just her setting a boundary and telling you in advance to avoid embarrassment come Christmas.

What is it that offended you about it? Center Parcs sounds like a way of saving face about financial struggles rather than her actually prioritising a holiday over your child (also a valid choice since it's her money).

Cutla…. one to add to that other thread about ridiculous spelling and grammar 😂

You sound entitled. No one has to buy your kid a gift, and she’s given you fair warning so that you don’t go all out on gifts for her kid either. YABU.

Why can you not take her very heavy hint that she doesn't want you to do expensive kids presents anymore? Its not unreasonable.

The response you were supposed to give was "Thats a good idea. Christmas is so expensive. Lets both limit it to a fiver max as a token pressie"

“Cutla” 🤣🤣🤣
I don’t know, OP, times are tough and some of us need to shift our priorities and holidays are expensive. Just spend what you feel comfortable spending, don’t judge her for it, at least she’s being up front.

Why is your child's xmas present more important than her child's trip?

She can get your child a decent gift for £10, she’s told you in advance so who cares? I bet your child won’t. Get over it

Agree with everyone else, she wants to reduce how much you both spend and said it rather awkwardly is all. Very sensible of her. Saves both of you the mental energy thinking of stuff too.

Transparent reverse. No one is this deluded.