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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was really cheeky of my friend!

392 replies

BreezyFish · 10/11/2025 15:02

So my friend has just told me that she’s “only gonna spend a cutla quid” (her words, not mine ) on my DS this Christmas because she’s “saving for Center Parcs next year.”

Now, I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but a cutla quid?? I actually thought she was joking at first. My DS is 7, not some random kid from school you pick up a selection box for. I always spend properly on her DD with last year it was a LEGO set, a book, and one of those slime-making kits that exploded glitter everywhere. Easily £25+.

So I said, “Oh right, just a couple of quid?” and she said, dead serious, “Yeah hun, can’t go mad this year, Center Parcs isn’t cheap.”

Sorry but since when did her holiday mean my son gets shortchanged?! It’s not my fault she wants to go be in a beige lodge with a swimming pool.

She’s now acting like I’m the unreasonable one for being “materialistic.” But surely it’s just basic decency to reciprocate roughly what someone else spends?

Would I be unreasonable to get her DD something from the pound shop this year and see how she likes it?

OP posts:
JetSkiRentals · 10/11/2025 15:47

Not cheeky at all, very sensible in fact. Spend a couple of quid on friends son/daughter and use the £20 you’d have normally spent and buy your own daughter/son something. It’s not that deep.

CaptainMyCaptain · 10/11/2025 15:47

NConthe · 10/11/2025 15:05

YABU for the “cutla”

A selection box is fine for friends kids

Yes. Cutla?

Dontlletmedownbruce · 10/11/2025 15:46

How dare she priorise her family holiday over your child's excesses....

She is telling you because she is placing a financial limit on things. That's fair. It would be different if she didn't tell you and didn't care. The right thing to do is reciprocate and be respectful. She may also want to bow out of an annual exchange and i think this is also fair. I think you should ask her if she would rather do this instead of getting all huffy with her. YABU

ldnmusic87 · 10/11/2025 15:46

user0507 · 10/11/2025 15:10

Why can you not take her very heavy hint that she doesn't want you to do expensive kids presents anymore? Its not unreasonable.

The response you were supposed to give was "Thats a good idea. Christmas is so expensive. Lets both limit it to a fiver max as a token pressie"

Edited

This, 100%

Balloonhearts · 10/11/2025 15:44

You gave her kid an explosive device full of slime and glitter. You're lucky she isn't sending you Anthrax...

Catpiece · 10/11/2025 15:42

I do ☹️

Nevernonono · 10/11/2025 15:39

Catpiece · 10/11/2025 15:24

Love “cutla”. That’s how we say “couple of” in South London. Writing it though? No 🤣

No, we don’t!

OriginalSkang · 10/11/2025 15:36

I've never bought presents for my friend's children at Christmas. You must be made of money if you're spending that much on children outside your family

Idontjetwashthefucker · 10/11/2025 15:34

Please don't make cutla a thing

CinnamonBuns67 · 10/11/2025 15:33

You're not being unreasonable to match what she's doing but yabu to be annoyed at it, your son is not her child or even a relative of hers. She's not obliged to get your child anything.

outdooryone · 10/11/2025 15:33

Your friend is avoiding an awkward situation over presents when her finances do not stretch as far as yours/she has priorities other than your children.

YABU.

Just buy 'em a book and be done.

Wishimaywishimight · 10/11/2025 15:31

CuboidRectangle · 10/11/2025 15:08

Transparent reverse. No one is this deluded.

Are you new here? 😂

TheAlertLimeSnail · 10/11/2025 15:31

Surely it’s just basic decency to reciprocate roughly what someone else spends?

Yes and she's telling you what the budget is this year to avoid an embarrassing situation where she spends considerably less than you.

I have no idea what 'a cutla quid' actually means though, so maybe agree a max £5 budget for the avoidance of doubt?

BauhausOfEliott · 10/11/2025 15:31

This isn't remotely convincing.

Onemorestepalongtheroad · 10/11/2025 15:30

LeaderBee · 10/11/2025 15:16

People have a cutla reasons to make up fake scenarios

Can think of a cutla things better to do with my time (although have been sounding out cuppla verses cutla under my breath for the last ten minutes it’s almost become an ear worm!)

takealettermsjones · 10/11/2025 15:29

Oh, come on. If this is real, please don't teach your child this entitled attitude. Neither you nor your son is owed anything whatsoever by your friend and she isn't being cheeky in the slightest.

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 10/11/2025 15:28

Not cutla, it's cupla , as in "couple". Where was (sic) you lot brung up ?

YenneferOfVengerburg · 10/11/2025 15:26

You are so far the side of U, you cannot see it.

Don't do presents - simple

Frynye · 10/11/2025 15:26

Oh come on. Reverse obviously

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 10/11/2025 15:25

Catpiece · 10/11/2025 15:24

Love “cutla”. That’s how we say “couple of” in South London. Writing it though? No 🤣

No we don't, the P sound is still there! Cuppla, if anything.

Catpiece · 10/11/2025 15:24

Love “cutla”. That’s how we say “couple of” in South London. Writing it though? No 🤣

Goditsmemargaret · 10/11/2025 15:24

Of course give her kid a similar value gift... That was her intention and why she told you in plenty of time!!!

Createausername1970 · 10/11/2025 15:23

I think you are being unreasonable. Why should her child potentially miss out on a holiday so your child can have a Christmas present?

Does no-one other than her buy your child a present at Christmas?

I didn't routinely buy presents for friend's children, so I am not as bothered by this as you are.

Just take the lead and suggest that neither of you buy for the other this year.

MoonBugs · 10/11/2025 15:23

I’m so glad you’re not my friend 😂
You sound like a nightmare!

canadian what GIF by CBC
Idontjetwashthefucker · 10/11/2025 15:20

Thought half term was over

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