To think this was really cheeky of my friend!

Just spend £5 back, Christmas colouring book stickers and a small Lindt teddy, Job done. Don’t over think it. Although YANBU about your friend saying “cutla quid” lol.

I took heed of Martin Lewis years ago. Actually he stole so many of his ideas from what site members posted and now preaches as gospel

when it was us three girls and parents - that was the pressie circle. Then partners came on board ,but we were all young and starting out so a gadget or mugs or glasses were acceptable pressies. Then the children came along and the rules changed - grandkids/nieces and nephews only and our parents.

As a teen things were different , didn’t have bills and the mortgage so I did buy for friends

Now 60’s we buy for the one surviving parent , a small gift to each other and the grandchildren , and those now working don’t get as much - a token gift. The kids get a help out. I do buy for a couple of gfs , but just them , not partners or children

it’s nice feeling like lady bountiful. I remember winning £50 on the premium bonds back in ‘78 and I felt so good being able to buy pressies for everyone

You buy a bottle of wine for someone , they feel obliged to buy a bottle back. Only their budget may not stretch to wine this year so why put that obligation on them ? Buy your own bloody wine

back off with the Christmas pressure. She values your friendship but not the added stress of Christmas spending.

🤣

What have i just read? Your friend gives you plenty of warning that she is not going to spend as much this year, presumably so that you can spend less on her kid too so that it's all fair, but you seem to feel entitled to a present worth a certain amount. Do you even understand the concept of a gift? You sound entitled and grabby.

Are you from down under? You should have thrown in a good twofer to really piss people off.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskAnAustralian/comments/1cylmce/cutla_or_coupla/

Edit: all the comments says the reddit op is on drugs so there's another theory to apply here.

Thanks to you cutla is now in my vocabulary. Hopefully I'll get a cutla hours decent kip tonight.

Seriously though, I beg of you please tell me is cutla local dialect to you? Have you misheard cuppla? Was it a typo on the thread and you just ran with it?? I NEED TO KNOW DAMMIT.

Genuinely thrilled that not one friend in my entire circle of friends ever entertained the whole the whole gifting each others kids anything.

The vast majority don't even do Christmas gifts, they do Kris kindle within their families for a decent amount, so one gift and done in the family, which eminently doable.

OP, matching your friends energy is a great lesson.
Someone is tight?, stick to paying for your own.

Just tell her that you won’t be doing presents anymore. It sounds like your DS never got anything worth having anyway. By no longer doing gifts she’ll have more money for her holiday and you can spend extra on your DS.

You’ve already been called out on ‘cutla.’ Can I just remind you that ‘hun’ is not a Mumsnet word and ‘babe’ is close behind.
Away to Netmums with you.

What is 'a cutla'???

This very much does sound like it’s been an unwelcome obligation for her. You meant to be nice, but clearly it’s not what she wanted. In future I hope you can see that your friendship is enough, you don’t have to buy people things.

Cutla is the new code word when proving that you’re not a troll or AI.

I've found many, many posts amusing on MN over the years.

Repeatedly using a made-up word is trying too hard so not remotely funny.

Well you never explained it despite us asking - so people kept asking and questioning it.

We’ve been doing the kids’ presents thing since they were both in nappies — I didn’t just start lobbing wrapped LEGO sets at her.

😂😂😂

You need to think about this from your friend’s pov.

She has clearly been waiting for you to say no gifts for years.

You’ve embarrassed her by over gifting when her budget is clearly a fiver. I understand how there could be a mismatch on year 1 but you should have bought much less from year 2 onwards. She’s not cheeky sticking to her budget and using her money on her family. You might feel like it’s tradition for you to play Lady Bountiful but her child would be grateful for a less expensive gift too.

Why on earth are you buying Christmas presents for your friend’s children and expecting your friends to buy presents for your children? Sorry, you do sound materialistic op.

So you are saying this imbalance has persisted for 7 years, yet you remain impervious to her requests that you not embarrass her by giving far more lavish gifts than she does?
(She doesn’t come right out and mention embarrassment, but even a slab of concrete would be able to infer it from what she says)

Come on, break this chain now, and cheerfully let her know there’s a fiver limit from now on!

Glad it’s sorted. Tbh I’m all for the cutting down on needless Christmas spending.

And I do think having a holiday is much better than exchanging presents with multiple friends - so the kids all get piles of plastic gifts and the parents are all out of pocket.

”Cutla” has clearly given everyone a good laugh - or driven various people insane - so it’s been worth it for how truly awful (but funny) this expression is.

Whose tradition exactly, since you complain that this person routinely ‘under-gifts’ where your family is concerned?
Haven’t you perhaps been imposing an unwelcome obligation on her?