Struggling so much with the endless grey dark weather

It's not as much weather dependent as light dependent.

Exactly. Who doesn't feel down and miserable and not wanting to even 'brush our hair' or anything at all when it is dark and cold.

There is lots of evidence however that keeping to routines and physical activity helps. I don't know anyone who purports to have sad get out and walk briskly every day. It helps!

Like every wellbeing issue we can do things to help and it is not sneery to suggest these measures.

Well yes, those seem like sensible steps as well, though I imagine most doctors will also recommend trying to increase your time outdoors and in nature. If the OP has been struggling for years though then I would have expected her to have tried a SAD lamp, though posters suggesting those aren't getting quite the same sneery treatment as those suggesting other things.

The OP doesn't need to have a mental health condition to benefit from making some changes though like employing a SAD lamp, or getting a health check up. It doesn't automatically mean she's going to end up on a long stint of medication for depression.

I agree that there are some unsatisfactory parts of the thread though, especially others sneering at the things other people do to try and make winter comfortable and nice.

I agree this thread is a bit unsatisfactory. No one knows whether the OP has a recognised mental health condition. If she has I'm very sympathetic but unqualified to advise her and see people have already mentioned vitamin D and lamps. But a lot of us experience challenges as the seasons change and are sharing coping strategies and don't really deserve to have our heads bitten off for it.

Same as any other thread where someone is sharing that they are feeling down about something. Not every mood fluctuation is a mental health disorder and sometimes it's on us to build resilience.

In any case like a PP I struggle in the extreme heat and that gets very short shrift on MN with people being called miserable and annoying.

I actually love the wind and the rain, we joke that in a past life I was a highland sheepdog.

I have also had many bouts of depression in my lifetime lasting years.

SAD still affects me like any other bout of depression I've ever had in my life to the point I can't brush my teeth and my hair, I can't stop myself crying, I want to get off this planet by any means necessary, I don't shower, if I have enough energy to get in the bath, I don't want to get out and I just sit there in human stew with minimal scrubbing or washing.

It happens every winter without fail and it's more to do with short days and longer nights.

We do undertake mitigating measures, as both DP and I are affected in our individual ways, and it's taken us a long time to understand what is actually triggering these long episodes of depression in winter, but I think you're really privileged if you find you are able to get up every day and make a good concerted effort at exercise, getting out in the sunshine during daylight hours, and can power through until March and understand that there's a light at the end of the tunnel and keep hold of those highly rational thoughts.

It's horrible feeling like the depression has lifted and you hope it's for good, and then the next dark season comes along and you feel like you're back at square one. It's the longest game of cat and mouse.

There's a huge difference between not liking it being dark and grey and wet and windy to feeling hugely incapacitated by it. Please don't downplay anybodies experiences because you think it's just a bit of a buzz word.

But yes, SAD lamps do help us. They're one of many very useful tools that help us create rituals that help stave off the worst bits and they're the very first thing we use in order to move on to the next thing, and the next thing.

I can assure you SAD isn't a special lighter, more fun kind of depression.

There has been a lot of grey where I am for the last month with very little sunshine. Of course there are days when we get sunshine, but the amount we get each day/month drops from September onwards with quite a drop from November through winter. There are regional variations hence people are commenting differently from each other. If you are working full time in an environment where you don’t have windows, or limited access to external light, you may not see any sunshine at all during the week even if it is sunny. Even if you have access to daylight, for sufferers of SAD, that light may not be sufficient to keep you on an even keel.

The OP was asking for help due to struggling massively due to SAD, arguing about who has sun and who doesn’t, implying people have it wrong and belittling things which work for some people is not really helpful.

Yes and I said true depression isn't weather depression.

SAD is literally weather dependent depression. That's what it is.

True depression isnt weather dependent though. People with depression feel utterly empty and numb on the sunniest of days.

This 'sad' thing is a bit if a buzz word. No one likes the wind or the rain, yes it's all a bit dreary at times but that is seasons for you just got to take your vit d, get lots of physical activity and power through til March.

This

@TheCorrsDidDreamsBetter thank you for the recipe! Looking forward to making it this Christmas.

Be grateful you don't experience depression - I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy

Getting outside in daylight every day. I walk to work, recently that’s been a trudge in rain, I get out at lunchtime. We have a dog so walk at the weekends. But when we didn’t I joined a walking group that made me get out. I’m thinking about getting a SAD lamp as our house is so dark from November to March.

@Harassedmum123 It wasn't asda, it was tescos!

https://realfood.tesco.com/recipes/sugarplum-turkish-delight.html

Definitely line your tin with some greaseproof paper, and oil on top of that, it just makes it so much less sticky and messy.

ETA: It says stir for 35-40 minutes. We have a gas hob, and even on low it doesn't seem to take anywhere near that long either. I stuck to the 35-40 minute rule for the first batch and ruined it. When it gets to a thick gloopy consistency, you're ready to take it off, even if that only takes 10 minutes.

I'll see if I can find it, it was in an old ASDA christmas catalogue. I've been making them every year since. They look a bit odd during the making stage, but they're so perfect when they're done.

I suffer from SAD and still not perfected reducing the symptoms! But main ones for my house is white (daylight) lights for the main bulbs in the house, so if I have to put big light on at 10 in the morning, it feels like daytime not than dusk if had orange/ normal light in! We do turn to side lights and dimmer lights later in the evening to again tell brain it’s getting to night time.
I try and embrace autumn too, like others have said candles, blankets, crafts.

I have a sad alarm in the morning but find the instant the light shine I’m awake! And when it’s sunny I’m out in it!

All right so you hate hot chocolate and scented candles (me too btw bleurgh) and you also seemingly don't fancy yoga or going outside. So what coping strategy are you using instead? Because people are only trying to share what works for them.

There is also a rigged insistence on this thread that it's been grey skies for weeks, which is honestly implausible for the vast majority of the country. As I've said, I get summer variant SAD (which is deeply fucking lonely since it's a minority experience). I used to find myself complaining about "endless relentless sunshine" and I had to force myself to recognize that often it had only been going on for a few days and it wasn't that bad yet, and it was time to up my coping strategies.

The UK is for sure a low sunshine country but it's not a no-sunshine country. I have every sympathy for people who suffer with the dark (physiologically it affects me too but I'm so grateful it's not hot that psychologically I'm great with it). You have to find something that helps mitigate it for you and lean into it, and try to get it in proportion.

Vitamin D and a SAD lamp. Start them in September. Honestly sorts you right out. SAD runs in my family. Not an ideal option but a quick run to a sunbed helps too if you are in dire straits.

I hate the early darkness. I bought some rechargeable lamps to put in some dark areas of my room and hallway. It’s a nicer light and changes my mood.
I make sure I go for a daily walk during light. Even if it’s raining (as long as it’s not stormy).
I take vit d and k2 combined (you need that combination) and try to keep the house as clean and tidy as possible so it’s nice to stay in and feels relaxing.
I’ve got books to read from the library, tv to watch in my list and arranged some catch ups with friends and some time with family.
I’ve also signed up for an online course.

@TheCorrsDidDreamsBetteri don’t suppose you could share the Turkish delight recipe could you? Sounds incredible.

Also having a list of things I want to do in winter really helps.

I look forward to making eggnogg, and having a nightly eggnogg latte from home, and making sugar plum turkish delights.

We love to do a drive round the estate when the christmas lights are all up with DC, and making paper baubles, snowflakes and paperchains.

In the new year I love making plans for the garden and being prepared for when spring finally springs into action.

I don't think I'd do any of these without 20 minutes in front of the SAD lamp though, because all I want to do is stay in, eat crap, sleep, and cancel plans without it.

Get yourself a SAD lamp.

Both DP and I get seasonal depression, but a SAD lamp really has worked wonders.

When spring hits and that first hit of golden morning sunshine starts peaking through it feels like a shroud has been lifted, and we love it, but the SAD lamp has made the cold dark winters and shorter days so much better. We've gone from days where we don't want to make any plans to really embracing the coldness and the dark.

Also, ditto the fairy lights. Everything looks so comfy and cozy with them.

They are relentless though! It’s the same with the yoga/ wild swimming/ be in nature* advocates.

*which gets a special 🤢 - it’s called ‘going outside’ ffs