Step daughter wanting help to gut her house and in not happy to help

This is something they need to do. She can hire a skip, pull an all-nighter throwing things away, take the day off work and get cleaners in for a deep clean. Her house won’t get clean until she gets rid of all of her stuff. It’s not your job to clean her house or organise her life.

Surely her father can help them

Life experience

Who cares if she gets mardy? You’re not her employee. She needs to get her own shit together.

So I might be going against the grain here with the replies I’ve read but I would help out (friends/family) in some small way. I have been the tenant and also a landlord. They really only need to give 24 hrs notice but a tenant can put it off. as a landlord the inspection was just to check there was no major damage to the property but also to check if I needed to do anything to maintain it. If a place was untidy and not perfectly clean I overlooked it. It’s not for me to decide how someone lives.

i have been the messy person or should I say messy couple. I tried to stay on top of things but it all got too much for just me and my partner was a slob and didn’t clean after himself. In hindsight I should have kicked off more but I was tired from long shifts in work and eventually i just stopped caring. The one day I realised that it was too much for me to tackle and didn’t know where to start.

I’ve also been the person working long shifts that just needs to unwind after work. So chores etc can seem too much. Again see above with messy partner. So things would be left for days or weeks (laundry to be put away bathroom cleans etc)

Maybe speak to your DH or DSD and ask if everything is ok. Sometimes mental health can affect how someone lives.

what I found worked for me was to hire a cleaner than would do all the big chores for me and I would just maintain it between times. So hovering , cleaning the surfaces in the kitchen loading the dishwater etc. ok ex was still messy but all I have to do was a quick tidy around.

If my biological daughter went away for the weekend when she needed to have a clean house and instead asked me to help while knowing I have health issues, I’d have strong words!!!

How do you know? Lol

All these replies saying to get professional cleaners in are nonsensical. The inspection is Thursday. Nobody is going to have availability before then.

It is people like these that give renters a bad name. No responsibility or respect.

Maybe the reason they’re the way they are is because they know other people will pick up their crap.
they’re old enough to live independently, and make the mess in the first place so they’re old enough to tidy up. If the letting agent / landlord is unhappy there will be consequences. Maybe they need to learn the hard way instead of having their arses wiped

Sod that! They can clean their own crappy house

Since it's your DSD I'd bet money that her DF never made her do anything at your place because he was afraid she'd stop coming to visit, now she's supposed to be an adult she still expects everyone else to clean up after her. Your DH is doing them no favours by running to the rescue, she and her DP need to learn that as adults they need to keep a reasonably clean and tidy home, if it's that bad they can't make it OK in a couple of evenings then they're living like messy children.
Tell your DH this is down to him, if his DD gets in a mood that's really just tough shit

Good - Stick to your guns. Pure lazyass immature behaviour!

Yes I think you're right

Why the string of nasty little laughing faces?

You are not BU to not want to do this if you are unwell, but why not leave it at that?

Instead you've sunk to belittling her and being nastily judgmental.

She/they've made the mess they clean it up
Or they pay someone to do it for them

Whenever I get asked to do something that takes up my precious time and energy I always ask myself the question 'would they honestly do it for me?'
9 times out of 10 it's a 'no, they actually wouldn't would they'

So...there you go

I wouldn't have gone out and bought cleaning products. Your DH could have done that if he wanted as he's retired.
Or the two lazy fuckers could have done it. They could put whatever plans they have for tonight, tomorrow and Wednesday on hold and get the place cleaned up easily in that time.

Are you in an abusive relationship?

Being afraid of his reaction to your refusing to skivvy for his daughter is coercive abuse.

Talk to Women's aid.
He sounds like a prick.

OP - Do NOT give in!!!

They’re massively cheeky asking for help. Your DH is daft for going, but it’s his decision to make obviously. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty. They’re basically saying you should clean for them so that they can slob around and play on computer games. Just because the two things aren’t happening at the same time, doesn’t mean it’s not true.

Let her get mardy with you. That way she probably won't ask you again!
Win,win 😀

Not if OPs husband is just going to allow them to live there. OP needs to have a real plan in place, would she leave, where to, does she have the cash to do that or does she need to free it up etc.

There's so many threads all over the internet about similar and it's happened to 2 friends of mine. One she refused to pay towards her step sons rent and he moved in and she was stuck there for ages before she could move and the other she wouldn't baby sit her step daughters child and step daughter and child moved in as step daughter couldn't work so couldn't pay rent.

That'll be change the locks then? :-)

Update..... I have been out and bought cleaning products and mold spray cloths and air freshener upon request of my husband!!!!

This makes me think you're on the wind up.

Why the feck aren’t these adults adulting?

why is your husband doing it?