My Father was convicted of sexual assault on 17 year old, should I let him see my kids + MORE

Remember, if he / family kick off, who started all this? Your father, not you. This situation is all of his own making

Well firstly, your brother is free to make his own decisions, but has no business making yours.

whatever you decide is the right thing, but if you want to feel more confident/justified when discussing this with your brother, I would suggest that if you do some reading around reoffending profiles for sexual offenders - The profile is very different to other crimes - you will feel entirely justified in your decision

Oh my heavens. This is a man who would sexually assault a 17 year old. And you think that makes him safe with children?

that is not a risk I would ever, ever take. He shouldn’t be alone with any females - he is a dangerous man.

When someone tells you who they are believe them.

His offence was serious enough to warrant a prison sentence so I think you are right to keep him away from your children.

The age of consent in the UK is 16. Its an anomaly that 16 and 17 year olds are called children legally and the terminology confuses this kind of issue. The man's crime was sexual assault, not sex with a child. I guess anyone can have paedophilic tendencies, but there is no evidence in this case.
Assuming that the two things are connected is a little bit like the bad old days when being a gay man was conflated with sexually abusing young boys. That idea seems to have gone or at least decreased. Much more unfair of course, because being gay is not wrong and sexual assault is.
I am with OP in being reluctant to let her dad spend time with her children until they are older. I wouldn't allow it.

For the person that ask as well, I had no issues in my childhood and honestly cant fault him as a fathe

I don’t remotely trust your benchmark for what you perceive as a “fault” in a father

You made a very reasonable decision with your DP (whose views are also very important here). Your father created this situation so you don’t have to feel guilty. He is responsible for his behaviour and the consequences of it.

As a manipuulative sex offender, I doubt that he would take his own life. He will threaten to do so to manipulate you and to get his own way. Many people have gone no contact with a parent for much less than what your father has done.

I don't understand your brother's position on this at all. Isn't he also disgusted and ashamed of what his dad has done or is he minimising and excusing the sexual assault? If it is the latter, I would be giving him a wide berth as well.

Absolutely not. Honestly I would be concerned about someone’s ability to protect their child/children if they did. A firm no. And don’t let other family members make you feel bad, you are safeguarding your children which is your job and as for the feelings of the person that did it, I’m sorry but they gave away the right to contact when they made the decision to do that.

Would you be unreasonably putting your children at risk if you did let your children see your dad?

What do you mean no? By seeing their grandfather they would be learning that he is a safe adult. He is NOT a safe adult.

And don't ever leave your children with your brother. He may well take the opportunity to introduce their grandfather to them to remedy your 'mistakes'. Ditto any other family member who is showing signs of sympathy for your father.

He might be in denial.

That was the case for the relative I mentioned in a previous post. By the time the offender was imprisoned for a second time, my relative had died.

I had previously reported the offender's contact with other children to the authorities. Nothing came of that until after his second imprisonment. I suspect that there were many other victims.

I'll add here that the offender kept trying to get back in contact with my relative's family and I fear for his motives. He was rebuffed but kept trying, even to the extent of watching a family funeral from a distance.

The point I'm making is that that this type of offender is determined and the OP will need to keep careful watch on her children, particularly since it seems that her brother might try to enable him to make contact.

The fact that your brother thinks it's no big deal and your father should still have access to your girls is very worrying and shows he has no care or compassion for victims of assault. I hope he doesn't have daughters. I'd cut contact with your brother too, what a horrible person he is too.

Is the name of the man’s first name Beginning J ending in S
second name beginning with F ?

You sound a bit naive ,make a Claires law application and find out exactly what your father is convicted of and its relevance to the safety and wellbeing of your children.

No idea how you could ask this. Of course, a sex offender shouldn’t be in contact with your children. An internet shouldn’t have to tell you this. If your brother has children, they should be removed frankly, due to beyond poor judgement. I couldn’t have any contact with the person, irrespective of what they may do to themselves.

If you were posting on here about any other man, asking whether you were reasonable to allow your children to be around a sex offender because you were frightened of offending your brother if you didn't, you would be rightly handed your arse and told to get a grip and parent properly.

Why is it any different because you happen to be related to the sex offender?

I think you need some help sorting out your feelings, if he killed himself as you suggest then that's entirely on him, not you

If he will look at a 17yo in that way, then he will look at your 11yo like that.

Also the fact that she was 17 and over the age of consent is not relevant. For a start, nobody consents to sexual assault and for another thing, she was a child. Plus if he did it to her, there will be plenty of others who he has done this to

My apologies once again.

Got it, easy done. But on such a sensitive topic, could be hurtful to OP.

Yes, I've apologised above.

Again, Im not seeing anything in OP’s posts about her husband/partner saying this??? I don’t think I’ve missed an update. It’s her brother who exploded.

How to make a Sarah's Law enquiry:

https://www.police.uk/request-sarahs-law