My Father was convicted of sexual assault on 17 year old, should I let him see my kids + MORE

In general I would try and keep my kids away from anyone who has been in prison at all. Definitely away from a sex offender.

I think there are 2 questions here -

Would you be unreasonable to stop your children seeing your dad?
NO you would be 100% reasonable to do this if that is what you want to do.
Would you be unreasonably putting your children at risk if you did let your children see your dad?
NO If you put in appropriate safeguards such as you or another trusted adult always being in the room or space alongside your dad and your children.

No I'd never let my child near a sex offender nor would I want to be around a sex offender myself and I have a couple in my family and I cut them off second I found out about their crimes.

If my father was a sex offender neither myself nor my children would remain in contact with him.

Yes. You can look up the judgements (published online). You know his name, roughly when he was sentenced, and which country in the UK the court case was heard.

https://www.bailii.org/indices/ew-cases-0092.html - Bailii should have it.

My mistake apologies I didnt realise that.

You would allow him to see your kids so he doesnt harm himself means you are putting him first try putting your kids first and actually its not even up for debate, their father should be saying its a no!! She wasnt the 1st girl he groomed he just got caught, when your kids are over 18 they can choose but under 18 you choose and you choose them

I feel like I've read about this. I remember reading about some scum who set a trap as you describe.

I cannot believe your even considering havomg your children anywhere near him.

I think you are in a terrible position @Lordvampire3but this best thing that you can do is to make an informed decision. I know that it will be hard but perhaps you do need to find out the facts of the court case/ conviction. Perhaps a Sarah’s Law request via your local police force or 101.

Do not allow your brother to influence the decision you make.

I think you are right to be wary and keep him away from your kids, or allow very limited and supervised contact. I’ve just done jury duty for a sexual assault case and it is very hard to prove, ( often one word against another), it has to be beyond reasonable doubt. If he was convicted there will have been solid evidence. Listen to your gut, if your brother tries to pressure you stand firm.

You seem to be speaking to your father because you fear he’ll commit suicide if you don’t.

If you father does commit suicide, you didn’t cause or have any bearing on that. He chose his path in life, please never feel your responsible for any of his actions, ever. You are not responsible for your father’s actions.

Your actions/lack of actions do not make someone take their own life, that is purely their actions but often they will guilt people into doing what they want by threatening etc.

Please dont be swallowed up by this. If YOU want to continue contact, then do it, but don't continue if its not what you want.
Do what's right for you and yours. They are the important ones here.

I think your brother exploding at you and your dh for not allowing your father who sexually assaulted someone to see your children speaks volumes on the type of person your brother is. He is minimising the assault on that poor woman, mimisising the threat to your daughters who will very soon be young women. I would question your brothers morals on this one.

I'm sorry you are going through this. It cant be easy at all and you are't aibu at all xxx

In the legal use of the term , a child is someone who has not reached their 18th birthday,so his victim WAS a child but above the age of consent which is also completely different term (and consent was obviously not given).

OP could the police give advice? We run a group where a dad was convicted if a sexual assault and although we couldn't discuss specifics they did tell us where we stood, and safeguarding we should do.

I would contact the police force where he lives. He should be a registered sex offender and be managed by a detective who will monitor him and ensure his relatives are aware of the risk he poses

This depends entirely on the case. Highly unlikely OP will find the sentencing remarks online they are usually only published when it’s in the public interest. Otherwise only victims of serious sexual and violent offences can request them for free. Otherwise you’d have to pay to get them.

Just google his name if it was ever in any paper you will find it.

I would never speak to my father again if he done this, he most certainly would not be around my children as if we are all happy families. I’m sorry, not a chance, your brother is delusional

@Lordvampire3 even if your father was supervised at all times with your children, the message you are sending to your children is that ‘Grandad is a safe person’. He isn’t.

My goodness op so sorry to hear you have had to experience this. I absolutely would do the exact same in your position and would never let my DF see my children ever again until they are consenting adults and can make that choice themselves. He's a risk to society.

Pls don’t have contact or let him see your dc. I was abused by my father and the way my mum acted made it all so much worse. Protect them. I look back and am angry she didn’t. Don’t let your dc think they’re not important enough to protect and that a child abuser is worth more.

I wouldn't let him anywhere near children.

Your children will find out what he did when they are older too and will question why they were allowed near him.

Keep them safe.

Also, his actions are no reflection on you.
If he's threatening suicide, that's manipulative and you shouldn't tolerate that.

I would keep him away his crime seem very cunning you owe him nothing and your daughters certainly don't.
Also what impact would it have on your marriage if you went against your husband's wishes ?