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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think dramatic colleague should not have done this?

119 replies

Mabeldram · 09/11/2025 18:54

I work in big brand hospitalality.

Last night there was a married couple in my section. She was lovely and he was a bit of a sleaze. I saw him scrolling through his for you page in Instagram - full of bikini babes. And he was a bit lechy with one of our teenage food runners, so I stopped her attending the table. I'm a sturdy mid fifties meno woman, I feel very protective of the youngsters.

When the couple came to settle up, the husband had a discount QR on his phone, so as per normal protocols I asked permission to take the phone to the host station to scan,

I asked a colleague to take it over as I needed to head to another guest as a priority. He scanned it, printed the bill and popped the phone down on the platter.

I always switch a phone off once scanned but Malcolm, the colleague didn't.

Malcom came back over to me after dropping the bill and phone down to the couple and ushered me into the kitchen.

Gleefully he told me that as he was heading back to the table, a tinder notification came up on the phone so he deliberately left the phone in a very visible position for the lovely wife to see.

AIBU to think he should have closed the phone down, or placed it face down, to save the grand reveal?

OP posts:
researchers3 · 10/11/2025 07:36

MrsPinkSky · 09/11/2025 21:59

Even the sleaziest of men wouldn’t have notifications turned on for Tinder.

Especially when out to dinner with their wife.

You'd be amazed how many people (men) get caught out this way.

CypressGrove · 10/11/2025 07:34

Mabeldram · 09/11/2025 19:22

Taking phones is protocol(obviously after asking), never really thought about the insurance.

Some people do come up the the host station with their phones, but most happy for the FOH to take it.

Edited

I've never come across anywhere that expects to take a customer's unlocked phone away. I struggle to believe any customer would allow it or a company would want to take that risk.

rwalker · 10/11/2025 07:30

proximalhumerous · 09/11/2025 20:50

I would suggest it's the husband that dropped the grenade rather than the waiter.

the point is the waiter did it purely for his own entertainment

2GreatFatSquirrels · 10/11/2025 07:25

Idk he didn’t write anything or do anything to the phone. Just left it open… conveniently. Yes yours is the strictly professional method but his was hardly a reprimandable offence.

neilyoungismyhero · 09/11/2025 22:36

Whilst I get the husband was a complete arse it wasn't your colleague's place to judge nor interfere in their business. He's not there to judge people he's there to provide a basic service of serving food not to play judge and jury in other people's lives. Totally unprofessional on his part.

Gazelda · 09/11/2025 22:04

So you asked him if you could take his phone to the pay point and then you gave it to someone else?

That seems very irresponsible to me. He didn’t give you permission to pass the phone on.

I’d be furious if I were the customer.

MrsPinkSky · 09/11/2025 21:59

AmITheLastOne · 09/11/2025 21:36

I think Malcolm is messing with you. Even the sleaziest of men wouldn’t have notifications turned on for Tinder. So nice story but I’m not buying it

Even the sleaziest of men wouldn’t have notifications turned on for Tinder.

Especially when out to dinner with their wife.

Talipesmum · 09/11/2025 21:45

Seems weird to me to take the phone away to the host station - is this in the UK? I’ve had people taking the card away in the US but never here, and I def can’t imagine being asked to give my opened phone to someone in a restaurant.

FWIW I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what the waiter did. Leave the phone in the state you found it - open and visible.

AmITheLastOne · 09/11/2025 21:36

I think Malcolm is messing with you. Even the sleaziest of men wouldn’t have notifications turned on for Tinder. So nice story but I’m not buying it

ReadingSoManyThreads · 09/11/2025 21:28

YABU to take guests phones.

Malcolm did the right thing.

BringBackCatsEyes · 09/11/2025 21:16

as per normal protocols I asked permission to take the phone to the host station to scan

I have been anywhere that does that. I am very surprised guest are willingly handing their phones to restaurant staff.

GaIadriel · 09/11/2025 20:54

Well, it's not great from a business perspective. The bloke is about 500x more likely to leave a bad review or claim he got food poisoning now.

fruitbrewhaha · 09/11/2025 20:54

I want to know what it said.

proximalhumerous · 09/11/2025 20:50

rwalker · 09/11/2025 20:43

It was done as an act of spite for a cheap laugh rather than for concern for the wife

dropping a grenade into someone’s life for a laugh isn’t something I think anyone should congratulate themselves on

I would suggest it's the husband that dropped the grenade rather than the waiter.

rwalker · 09/11/2025 20:43

It was done as an act of spite for a cheap laugh rather than for concern for the wife

dropping a grenade into someone’s life for a laugh isn’t something I think anyone should congratulate themselves on

99bottlesofkombucha · 09/11/2025 20:42

Good for him. You don’t seem to actually give be a give no fucks menopausal woman while you’re arguing to hide this from his wife, that would be a more accurate self description if you’d said out loud to him excuse me you’ll have to stop scrolling scantily clad and naked women pictures while in our restaurant, some of our staff and clients are under 18.

PGmicstand · 09/11/2025 20:38

ShesTheAlbatross · 09/11/2025 19:37

All he did was leave the phone face up, with the screen lit because a notification came through? He didn’t go through the phone eg flick through from the QR code to see whether he had tinder and then leave it open?
I think that’s fine tbh, he didn’t actively do anything. He’s not obliged to proactively hide the tinder notification.

That's a perfectly reasonable point.
I can understand it being out of order if the colleague had accessed anything else on the person's phone. If he (the tinder guy) was that bothered about potential notifications popping up, then he should have managed them better and not given his phone to someone else.

BauhausOfEliott · 09/11/2025 20:37

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Interpink · 09/11/2025 20:33

Cerezo · 09/11/2025 19:23

Defo should have done it. Chaos is awesome.

We will be best friends.

PinkFrogss · 09/11/2025 20:26

I don’t think the waiter didn’t anything particularly wrong or right.

Out of curiosity are you American?

Mabeldram · 09/11/2025 20:17

If you doubt the veracity contact HQ. I've been here 18 years, that can be established.

@BallerinaRadio

OP posts:
BallerinaRadio · 09/11/2025 20:15

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Poppyseeds79 · 09/11/2025 20:13

I would not be handing over my open phone to a randomer in a restaurant for a start. Beyond that the husband is daft if he's just letting Tinder notifications pop up anyway.

Mabeldram · 09/11/2025 20:10

MrsPinkSky · 09/11/2025 20:03

Weird story but anyway, you lost me at 'meno woman'.

Well

To think dramatic colleague should not have done this?
OP posts:
Mabeldram · 09/11/2025 20:09

Dollymylove · 09/11/2025 19:26

How do you know they aren't siblings or cousins?

Well we had a conversation and words were used and I understood the relationship based on those words.

It's my job. 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
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