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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think dramatic colleague should not have done this?

119 replies

Mabeldram · 09/11/2025 18:54

I work in big brand hospitalality.

Last night there was a married couple in my section. She was lovely and he was a bit of a sleaze. I saw him scrolling through his for you page in Instagram - full of bikini babes. And he was a bit lechy with one of our teenage food runners, so I stopped her attending the table. I'm a sturdy mid fifties meno woman, I feel very protective of the youngsters.

When the couple came to settle up, the husband had a discount QR on his phone, so as per normal protocols I asked permission to take the phone to the host station to scan,

I asked a colleague to take it over as I needed to head to another guest as a priority. He scanned it, printed the bill and popped the phone down on the platter.

I always switch a phone off once scanned but Malcolm, the colleague didn't.

Malcom came back over to me after dropping the bill and phone down to the couple and ushered me into the kitchen.

Gleefully he told me that as he was heading back to the table, a tinder notification came up on the phone so he deliberately left the phone in a very visible position for the lovely wife to see.

AIBU to think he should have closed the phone down, or placed it face down, to save the grand reveal?

OP posts:
Bowies · 10/11/2025 19:56

The customer should have gone over to the til, as you say no option to sort it out at the table.

If the Tinder thing came up, I would’ve left it as well, since nothing to do with the transaction, up to the customer to deal with their notifications.

Bananaandmangosmoothie · 10/11/2025 19:52

Team Malcolm.

Okiedokie123 · 10/11/2025 19:47

AmITheLastOne · 09/11/2025 21:36

I think Malcolm is messing with you. Even the sleaziest of men wouldn’t have notifications turned on for Tinder. So nice story but I’m not buying it

LOTS of men would do this.

OlympicWomen · 10/11/2025 19:41

Everywhere I've eaten recently the servers always have ipads and/or those terminals to take payments at the table. I'd never hand over my phone, especially if the maitre d' was likely to hand it on to someone else. I think you need to change your system.
Apart from that? The man was an utter sleazeball, I quite agree.
Also, I hope the menopause isn't too troublesome 🤞

DressOrSkirt · 10/11/2025 19:39

You were both unreasonable.

Why did you ask a waitress to stop working on a table, instead of asking the lechy customer to stop/leave?

Why do you take customers phones instead of asking them to come to the till?

He shouldn't have looked at the customers message or left his phone open as it's none of his business, but also neither of you know the relationships dynamics.

proximalhumerous · 10/11/2025 19:38

rwalker · 10/11/2025 07:30

the point is the waiter did it purely for his own entertainment

Show quote history

As did the husband, arguably. It certainly wasn't for the purposes of edification.

Pedallleur · 10/11/2025 19:36

ShesTheAlbatross · 09/11/2025 19:37

All he did was leave the phone face up, with the screen lit because a notification came through? He didn’t go through the phone eg flick through from the QR code to see whether he had tinder and then leave it open?
I think that’s fine tbh, he didn’t actively do anything. He’s not obliged to proactively hide the tinder notification.

This. If you use your phone to pay and a notification comes thro it's not up to the assistant to do anything but take the payment and hand the device back. Sounds like he did.

GinaandGin · 10/11/2025 19:29

PuppyKeep · 10/11/2025 19:03

What’s a meno woman?

A woman who is in menopause

ConstantlyFuriosa · 10/11/2025 19:21

Another one here completely aghast at taking people’s phones, albeit with permission. It’s a massive security risk, plus I’d hate other people’s fingers all over my screen. Yuck.

dannyufcfan · 10/11/2025 19:12

None of his (or yours) bloody business.

Arcticienne · 10/11/2025 19:12

I don’t think there are any ‘winners’ in this sorry saga. Only losers.

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 10/11/2025 19:09

Malcolm should be out of a job. The only justification in a professional environment is if they felt there was a genuine risk to someone's safety.

Nomdejeur · 10/11/2025 19:08

I’ll take things that never happened for 500, Alex.

Original poster
Mabeldram · 10/11/2025 19:05

Shorthand for a woman in menopause stage of life.

OP posts:
PuppyKeep · 10/11/2025 19:03

What’s a meno woman?

Original poster
Mabeldram · 10/11/2025 18:59

Nope not American.

Every phone which is taken to the POS point is only taken after permission which I'm pretty sure I mentioned in OP.

Our ipads are few and far between and some of the cameras don't work re the QR codes, that's how the convention cane about I guess. I've been in other similar branches and happily gave FOH my QR code on my screen to take to POS point.

I wasn't trying to "establish" people's marital status, it came up in natural conversation via the couples' words. 🙄 I also know that the late teen who sat on table 17 on Sunday is back for the weekend for Leeds University where he's studying Law. Again, not trying to "establish" anything; natural conversation. It's My Job.

OP posts:
Sorica · 10/11/2025 18:45

I would not let anyone take my phone away, having had a finance app hacked recently through no fault of my own!

Moveoverdarlin · 10/11/2025 18:21

I’ve never known any waiting staff having to walk off with a customer’s phone in the UK. My DH has a taste card and shows a QR card the majority of times we eat out - never do the staff even touch the phone.

I also can’t remember the last time a member of staff used their words to establish if we were married or not.

browneyes77 · 10/11/2025 18:15

Blimey. Even my local Toby Carvery gives the staff small tablets, and they scan QR codes at the table.

Taking away a customers phone, could really open a business up to claims if that phone got dropped/damaged.

And if the husband is stupid enough to have Tinder on his phone, with pop up notifications for his wife to see, then that’s on him. Malcolm just returned the phone in the condition it was given. Not his fault the notification was on the screen.

JustMyView13 · 10/11/2025 18:07

I think this is fine. He didn’t open the tinder chat / start scrolling etc. He merely returned the phone as it was found.

Anyway, who are these trusting people handing over their phones like this 🤣

meganorks · 10/11/2025 18:06

Nope. If you are cheating on your wife and have incriminating evidence on your phone, don't be so cheap as to use a voucher on your phone when you take her out for dinner!

chlamp · 10/11/2025 07:49

I’ve had phone taken from me at an ‘Italian’ chain. No drama. Certainly wouldn’t be ‘furious’ if it was given to a colleague to return. How silly to get that het up!

Your colleague did the right thing, return the phone without tampering with it in any way, right side up so no potential screen scratches. Unfortunate for the customer that his ‘hobby’ happened to alert him at the same time.

Owly11 · 10/11/2025 07:45

It sounds like the practices around mobile phones are very very poor and there is likely going to be a disgruntled customer making a complaint before too long. This is just one of many examples of what could go wrong when you take an unlocked phone off a customer. You need to change the procedure.

gannett · 10/11/2025 07:40

(I've also never been anywhere that would take my phone away from the table though.)

gannett · 10/11/2025 07:39

rwalker · 10/11/2025 07:30

the point is the waiter did it purely for his own entertainment

Show quote history

He didn't judge, interfere or in fact do anything at all.

The minute the notification flashed up, Malcolm had a choice: hide it or don't hide it.

Placing the phone face down to be discreet would have also been an active decision. Placing the phone face up is simply letting matters play out normally.

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