DH postgrad medical exams

26 replies

clinellwipe · 09/11/2025 16:52

A post to ask how medical couples/families survive Royal college membership exams …

DH is prepping for his FRCA final viva so fourth set of exams over the last 4 years. In the last four years we’ve had 2 children - a 4 year old with SEN and a 6 month old baby.

I left medicine after doing an ‘F4’ year. I’m not working (I know I’m lucky). We live 2.5 hours from any family support due to the whole merry go round of moving around the UK.

during his revision seasons he revises 8am-8pm on days off work, and all evening on days he’s at work. The last day off from revision he had was in September - ie the last day he helped’ with parenting was in September. He revises HARD, he does this for many months in advance and luckily it’s always paid off as he has passed every exam first time round.

the price is that I’m drowning in running the household , the kids (breastfeeding baby, keeping 4yo regulated) etc etc. 4yo only goes to nursery 3 mornings a week as he gets overwhelmed. It’s really REALLY hard not to resent him.

I’m not trying to do a husband bashing thread, just trying to understand how you cope if you or your partner are doing these exams? Does it cause upset in your households? Do I just not get it because I never did the post grad exams? Hoping that he passes this set of exams so we can try to be a family again because it feels so disconnected right now…

OP posts:

SockQueen · 09/11/2025 17:09

I've passed the FRCA and the first thing I would say is thank GOD I did it before kids! However, that's not very helpful to you...

It is a beast of an exam, no doubt about that. And the viva nature means that if you get unlucky, you can get grilled on one tiny area of the syllabus and if you don't know it, that's all your marks for that subject gone. So the pressure to feel like you know and can answer questions on everything is huge. It's also very expensive - over £700 for this one - and very stressful, so you really don't want to resit (though about 30-40% will have to at each stage). And you cannot progress further in training without it - in fact if you don't pass after a certain length of time/number of attempts, you can lose your place in the training scheme. So yeah, it's a big deal and does rather take over your life.

That said, is it necessary to study 8-8 every day for months? Probably not for most people; I certainly didn't put those kind of hours in. Different people approach study in different ways though, and for your DH he may feel it necessary. My opinion is that once you get to a certain level of knowledge, extensive book work is less needed, and what is essential is viva practice - at work (lots of hospitals will have consultants who arrange practice sessions), with colleagues and potentially on paid courses.

Huge sympathy for you and your family - it sounds like a very hard time for you. Is he using it as an excuse to opt out of family life? Possibly? I think you need to decide if raising it at this point is likely to be a productive discussion, and what you can realistically ask for that won't stress you both out more. I'm assuming he's taking the December sitting? In which case it will be over soon.

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