Am I just too sensitive?

My mum hit a deer once in her car and it broke the windshield, caused the car to veer off the road, she could easily have been seriously injured but luckily she wasn’t. The car was a write off. I would have thought it’s pretty obvious that you could be badly hurt by hitting a deer. They can get pretty big. However, more to the point, it would drive me mad if anyone, let alone someone who’s supposed to love me, would look up statistics and videos just to prove me wrong. How pathetic. I can’t stand people who “just have to be right” all the time. He could have easily said let’s just agree to disagree, it’s not like it was a disagreement about anything that’s actually relevant to your lives. If I was one of those mental pearl clutching MNers I’d be saying LTB 🤣🤣 but obviously in the real world just tell him he’s really childish for doing it

Any chance you've got a husband who's always right and you don't feel he respects your experience/point of view? So you end up being contrary to everything he says, he does the same and so you feel like you're fighting constant battles over the most ridiculous things?

Nope, not men v. women. It’s just a personality thing.

Also, there’s a difference between expressing an opinion and stating a fact. If you suggest that (eg) blue is a nicer colour than a red, that’s an opinion and of course you’re entitled to it and can’t be proved wrong. That would be a discussion that cannot be settled one way or the other.

But if you suggest that (eg) Queen Victoria is still alive or the moon is made of cheese, and insist that your husband is incorrect to say otherwise, that isn’t a discussion of opinion. It’s simply you being wrong about a fact that’s very easily proven, and can be settled very easily.

There's actually lots of deer near to where I live. And I was blissfully unaware of how much damage they can cause when they get in the way of a car, for years. Perhaps most people are? A video would demonstrate it though. So, sounds fine to me.

Hardly a similar comparison. 50% of the population will have some form of MP symptoms at some point. Hitting a deer is a rare one off that doesn't warrant needing to prove someone right or wrong.

Were you both a bit over tired? Sounds like one of those bollocks rows people have when it's been a long day.
To add to the story, my DH work friend was in a very serious deer/car collision where the deer came through the windscreen. She was in a coma for three weeks and seriously injured, so it does happen. Not sure of the stats though!

It’s not a lecture and you could just walk away from a video. If your husband said that all menopausal women are just making up their pain, or that periods aren’t painful or annoying, would you just say ok? I wouldn’t and I’d probably put some facts out there or show him a video!

I wouldn’t have wanted a lecture either, OP, nor to be forced to watch a video!

Thinking here maybe it's a difference between men and women.

Hardly.
It is a reasonable assumption that the majority of people posting on MN are women, yet here most of us are, saying YABU, or telling you how we would have reacted. It's not a 'man vs woman' thing at all.

Not a man or woman thing. It’s a personality thing. It really annoys me when people say women just go on feelings. Me, and so many others work in STEM and we definitely go on facts, graphs, and stats!!

Yes you're being over sensitive. It's ridiculous that you've fallen out over a hypothetical deer!

Fuck me yes, way oversensitive.

You were wrong, he whipped his phone out to prove it and instead of watching what he was trying to show you, you threw a sulky tantum.

It's not a big deal. Everyone in the world has been wrong about something 🤷‍♂️

Sometimes I really miss pre Internet days when you could have an enjoyable debate about a random and bizzare topic and nobody knew the answer so you just carried on with your day after you got bored talking about it

There we go then! If you have no experience of driving then it does sound a bit like you’re doing the female equivalent of mansplaining and then get got annoyed when someone came back with facts. Sounds a bit ‘Trumpian’ - not to let facts get in the way of winning an argument!

Yes, there’s a tablet knocking around our house which is used almost exclusively to look up the answers to things that have caused family arguments. The most recent ones I can think of are the name of Martin Luther’s wife, the age SE Hinton is now, and who won the first season of Traitors along with Annoying Hannah.

No, your DH is a knobhead, like so many men who thrive on scoring points.
We had a row over a year ago about my walking boots not having gortex in them (!) (I know) despite me getting wet feet.
Yesterday he told my DD, who has the same boots as me, 'Well, they're gortex, so your feet shouldn't be wet.'
He would argue black was white if it meant he was right!

I don’t think it’s particularly unreasonable, when someone refuses to accept a factual truth, to try to end the argument by showing them evidence for it. If there’s an argument, it seems a perfectly sensible way to settle it.

My brother and I had an argument about hyenas yesterday which he ended up Googling to prove that he was right. And indeed he was right, so fair play to him.

My friend always said the worst thing about her parents rows were that nobody stood down, so they had to get proof that the other was wrong instead of letting it go, so I get it. By the way a deer once hit my car, the side of it and ran off. I definitely felt it! I don’t know if this helps either of you!😅

This website astonishes me when, so often, it shows people being upset by the most utterly trivial things. What do people do when they have a real problem?

Not had arguments with a significant other like this since I was about 15. Childish nonsense on both sides tbh.

I don't drive so have no experience of crashing into animals of any kind.

Er - you do know the two don't go hand in hand ?
I've managed to drive for decades without crashing into animals of any kind

But yes, YABU. You were arguing (however lightheartedly) an incorrect fact, so - as we all have a mini computer in our hand - the person you were with brought up the internet to show you.

As @ArseholierThanThou said, a normal response to that from me would be "Well, you live and learn" / "Every day's a school day" / "Well, I've learned something new today" / type response.

Oh god "learning opportunity"? I don't know why, I bloody hate that phrase when applied to a simple life event or experience. I know what the OP means, if you get into a back and forth that you don't really care about or is very hypothetical and one party has to pedantically push it to nth degree and make you sit there while they ask Google or AI to prove their point. Meanwhile you've long since lost interest and have moved on.

You thought you were having a playful "I wonder if...." conversation. You husband thought you had misunderstood something and wanted to explain the reality.
"Being proved wrong" doesn't need to be an insult. If we're not corrected on our wrong beliefs we don't learn anything. It sounds to me like you realised you were wrong and rather than taking it as a learning opportunity you took offence.

It sounds like you got a bit defensive (which I can sympathise with because I hate being proved wrong myself). Your concession was a bit grudging and then you escalated it into a bigger fight.

But of course, context is everything. Is he often seeking to one up you and rub your nose in it when you're wrong? If so it's not unexpected that you're primed to be defensive.