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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For not wanting to spend another Christmas Day with his batshit family?

229 replies

MsCrowly · 09/11/2025 14:39

When I first met DP’s family they seemed absolutely lovely, really really nice people. Charity work at the church, voluntary work at the local primary school, his dad cut the elderly neighbours grass throughout summer - I could go on but honestly they seemed like amazing people. So when Dp told me his mum had invited us around for Christmas dinner I happily accepted. On the run up to Christmas Day he told me his family were a bit wild at Christmas so be prepared but with what I knew about them I assumed he meant his dad had a few too many sherrys and tended to start singing Elvis or something!

No.

It was fucking awful. They were all drunk by time we got there at 12. His mother was ffing, blinding and cunting all over the place, his dad was watching world war 2 documentaries and screaming about how the kids of today would be too pussy to fight - when we first arrived his sister launched into a verbal attack saying it was just like him to turn up like a vulture when someone else was cooking 🫤 DP said we were invited so she screamed “so was fucking Judas”

over the course of the day his mother threw a glass of wine over his dads head, his sister continued picking arguments with everyone until she ultimately launched a tub of quality street across the room in rage, his dad started throwing up to which his mum got handfuls of it in kitchen roll and tried to smear it across his face - by the end of the day his mum was sat drunk in tears saying she wished she’d joined the army?!? His dad was passed out upstairs, his sister was sat furiously watching Grease screaming at everyone to stop talking and DP was drunk and going around squashing chocolates into the walls.

Couldn’t wait to get out - anyway he’s now asked if we can go this year considering how everyone enjoyed it so much last year, I was like “you joking? Everyone was arguing!!” and he got defensive saying it’s Christmas, people drink and get silly - all families do that. Mine don’t!!! A few drinks yeah but fighting and arguining? Nope

Thing is if I don’t go I’ll be alone Christmas Day - do I go or have a quiet (lonely?) one by myself? And AIBu to think this isn’t how normal families celebrate Christmas?

OP posts:
MatchaMatchaMatcha · 09/11/2025 19:13

If you do go back op...could you live stream it?

UnemployedNotRetired · 09/11/2025 19:07

Sounds fun to me ...

LokiDoki75 · 09/11/2025 19:05

It’s like a weird festive version of The Purge!

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 09/11/2025 19:04

MsCrowly · 09/11/2025 17:43

Other stuff that happened -

mother and father getting into a seriously heated argument about whether Cliff Richard was gay or not

DP getting sister in a headlock as she came out of the bathroom, her reacting by whacking him in the balls - mother complaining about them fighting near her new picture (as if it would be fine anywhere else)

father complaining that the sprouts were rock hard (they were) and mother grabbing a load and throwing them at him

The argument over Grease - apparently sister watches it every Christmas but nobody else wants to, this is a yearly argument apparently DP likes to watch Star Wars

An old man walking past the living room window and peering in - mother shouts “cunt” for no reason at all, sister jumps up to see who it was and knocks a drink flying, mother starts screaming about the carpet, sister starts screaming about the chocolate on the walls and how nobody cares about that. Another argument about the new picture … I could go on all day. I actually wrote it all down when I got home so I could tell my friends the details!

He never mentioned the chocolate, I asked why he did it and he laughed saying he couldn’t remember doing it.

Absolutely crying over someone disputing Riff Pilchards (homo-) sexuality lol

Even the word ‘headlock’ ends me lol
complete with knuckle shuffle on the top of the noggin?

Imbusytodaysorry · 09/11/2025 19:01

@MsCrowly i voted urbu. Because I cannot believe you haven’t had the discussion before now .

your dp was smearing chocolate on the walls while drunk ?
He knew his family acted the way they did and invited you last year and Instead of being mortified he invited you again this year .
Just wow!

last year I’d have told him you will have to be together although apart from his family as it was disgusting .
How many weeks untill Xmas why has it not been discussed .

Grapewrath · 09/11/2025 19:01

This sounds hilarious tbh but no Yanbu

Whatwouldnanado · 09/11/2025 19:00

Hideous. Do you want your future children to experience this? Run.

outerspacepotato · 09/11/2025 18:59

It's Purgemas. That's their day to let loose and get that shit they've been repressing all year out.

Do they take Boxing Day literally?

Dollymylove · 09/11/2025 18:56

Christmas alone sounds a far better bet. I would have a curry, chilled bottle of wine, box of chocs and feet up in front of the telly. What's not to like?

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 09/11/2025 18:52

JUSAS ESCARIOT AS I LIVE AND BREATHE!!!!

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 09/11/2025 18:52

Glass of wine poured over the head

or

a glass of wine to the head?

The devils in the detail don’t you know ..

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 09/11/2025 18:48

MsCrowly · 09/11/2025 14:39

When I first met DP’s family they seemed absolutely lovely, really really nice people. Charity work at the church, voluntary work at the local primary school, his dad cut the elderly neighbours grass throughout summer - I could go on but honestly they seemed like amazing people. So when Dp told me his mum had invited us around for Christmas dinner I happily accepted. On the run up to Christmas Day he told me his family were a bit wild at Christmas so be prepared but with what I knew about them I assumed he meant his dad had a few too many sherrys and tended to start singing Elvis or something!

No.

It was fucking awful. They were all drunk by time we got there at 12. His mother was ffing, blinding and cunting all over the place, his dad was watching world war 2 documentaries and screaming about how the kids of today would be too pussy to fight - when we first arrived his sister launched into a verbal attack saying it was just like him to turn up like a vulture when someone else was cooking 🫤 DP said we were invited so she screamed “so was fucking Judas”

over the course of the day his mother threw a glass of wine over his dads head, his sister continued picking arguments with everyone until she ultimately launched a tub of quality street across the room in rage, his dad started throwing up to which his mum got handfuls of it in kitchen roll and tried to smear it across his face - by the end of the day his mum was sat drunk in tears saying she wished she’d joined the army?!? His dad was passed out upstairs, his sister was sat furiously watching Grease screaming at everyone to stop talking and DP was drunk and going around squashing chocolates into the walls.

Couldn’t wait to get out - anyway he’s now asked if we can go this year considering how everyone enjoyed it so much last year, I was like “you joking? Everyone was arguing!!” and he got defensive saying it’s Christmas, people drink and get silly - all families do that. Mine don’t!!! A few drinks yeah but fighting and arguining? Nope

Thing is if I don’t go I’ll be alone Christmas Day - do I go or have a quiet (lonely?) one by myself? And AIBu to think this isn’t how normal families celebrate Christmas?

No A&E visit /No police call out?

just a quiet one then so it was!

Changename12 · 09/11/2025 18:46

You call this man DP, as in partner. So this means you must be in a committed relationship with him. Surely if this is the case, he would not expect you to stay at home on your own on Christmas Day. Ask him, to give his parents home a miss this year.

HideousKinky · 09/11/2025 18:46

I haven't stopped laughing at the Judas comment yet

Fedupofwimps · 09/11/2025 18:45

Oh, I would definitely go just for the entertainment (admittedly I do have a thick skin so I could have a few vinos and laugh at their antics...I appreciate this wouldn't be for everyone!)
If you do get tempted to go take as many surreptitious photos (extra points for videos!) of them as you can 🤣 you would quite literally own his family with that kind of evidence, especially when they are back on their best behaviour at church 😉

ThatLemonBear · 09/11/2025 18:39

Does your DP’s family live in Walford? (YANBU to swerve it, I’d rather watch the soaps on Christmas Day than partake in them)

NorrisToenail · 09/11/2025 18:38

Any chance you could go and live post on here throughout the day? Plenty of people having a boring or lonely Christmas would love the entertainment!

Linenpickle · 09/11/2025 18:36

Your dh has one fucked up family.

elfendom1 · 09/11/2025 18:33

Morningsleepin · 09/11/2025 14:58

Made up or true life, you have a real talent for writing, OP. If you don't do it for a living you should

I disagree, 'launched, screaming' totally overdone

Overthemhills · 09/11/2025 18:33

I’m sorry OP but this has made me laugh so much - I bet it was awful to live through but Christ it’s hilarious to read about!
I thought I had the weird in-law Christmases but this is superior in detail and how you relay it.
oh and definitely don’t go again unless you fancy having another fantastic story of insanity for us (ps my in-laws are similar in type but it’s usually one of the adult children cunting at everything and vomiting). I used to find it hilarious but not so much after last year when FIL called me “well loose” (he I think meant drunk, I was about 2 drinks in but I think it speaks to how drunk they were that sobriety looked like that).

coxesorangepippin · 09/11/2025 18:23

This thread is brilliant

😂

The mother screaming 'cunt' at an old bloke peering in

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 09/11/2025 18:22

I’m judging you a bit for staying with a man that squashes chocolate into walls and puts his sister in a headlock.

Can you really not find someone better?

itsgettingweird · 09/11/2025 18:19

Alone sounds a ffaaaarrrrrr better option than enduring that again!

Anyusernamewilldo8963 · 09/11/2025 18:17

I'm another one that's thinking this is made up surely lmao are you secretly a script writer and trying to get a new Christmas movie made and seeing if it gets much response before you take it to the movie execs 😂 on the one hand I'd absolutely go but stay sober(ish(i mean you'd have to have some alcohol you couldn't be stone cold sober!)) And then start a new thread on Christmas day with live updates!! I mean you can dine out on these stories for years (and get videos cos no one will believe you!) But on the other hand if you genuinely feel like you could be attacked/hurt by a stray flying sprout then I had a Christmas day alone pre kids and honestly it was brilliant! New pj's, chocolate, alcohol and full control of the tv remote, I had a blast! Just make sure DP packs his toothbrush and stays overnight with his parents rather than coming home drunk as a skunk and ruining your lovely day

happysinglemama · 09/11/2025 18:14

Either do what you did before meeting him or go for the entertainment

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