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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For not wanting to spend another Christmas Day with his batshit family?

229 replies

MsCrowly · 09/11/2025 14:39

When I first met DP’s family they seemed absolutely lovely, really really nice people. Charity work at the church, voluntary work at the local primary school, his dad cut the elderly neighbours grass throughout summer - I could go on but honestly they seemed like amazing people. So when Dp told me his mum had invited us around for Christmas dinner I happily accepted. On the run up to Christmas Day he told me his family were a bit wild at Christmas so be prepared but with what I knew about them I assumed he meant his dad had a few too many sherrys and tended to start singing Elvis or something!

No.

It was fucking awful. They were all drunk by time we got there at 12. His mother was ffing, blinding and cunting all over the place, his dad was watching world war 2 documentaries and screaming about how the kids of today would be too pussy to fight - when we first arrived his sister launched into a verbal attack saying it was just like him to turn up like a vulture when someone else was cooking 🫤 DP said we were invited so she screamed “so was fucking Judas”

over the course of the day his mother threw a glass of wine over his dads head, his sister continued picking arguments with everyone until she ultimately launched a tub of quality street across the room in rage, his dad started throwing up to which his mum got handfuls of it in kitchen roll and tried to smear it across his face - by the end of the day his mum was sat drunk in tears saying she wished she’d joined the army?!? His dad was passed out upstairs, his sister was sat furiously watching Grease screaming at everyone to stop talking and DP was drunk and going around squashing chocolates into the walls.

Couldn’t wait to get out - anyway he’s now asked if we can go this year considering how everyone enjoyed it so much last year, I was like “you joking? Everyone was arguing!!” and he got defensive saying it’s Christmas, people drink and get silly - all families do that. Mine don’t!!! A few drinks yeah but fighting and arguining? Nope

Thing is if I don’t go I’ll be alone Christmas Day - do I go or have a quiet (lonely?) one by myself? And AIBu to think this isn’t how normal families celebrate Christmas?

OP posts:
FOJN · 09/11/2025 14:44

If you can detach enough you could go for the entertainment. If it's all a bit much you could stay at home, you'd be alone but it would be peaceful and you could please yourself. I'd be asking myself why a Christmas alone seemed worse than a Christmas in that mad house. Treat yourself to peace and quiet rather than viewing a Christmas alone as sad.

SomethingInnocuousForNow · 09/11/2025 14:44

Absolutely not. Have a normal Christmas at home.

ChaToilLeam · 09/11/2025 14:44

No way would I go, and if your DP thinks his family's behaviour is reasonable and normal, I'd be rethinking the relationship. What a zoo!

OneOpalScroller · 09/11/2025 14:42

Wow! No I would not be going, I’d rather spend Christmas alone. Any reason why you can’t see your family op?

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