Having sex straight after baby

I was so sore and bruised that when I went for my 6 week check up the GP said I looked as if I had just given birth and to re-book after another month had passed. Ended up having to be referred to hospital as I was so slow to heal. Meanwhile my poor sex deprived husband had started shagging another woman.

I think she was maybe asking why people would ignore medical advice?

Do you know what obsessive means?

Except you couldn't have quoted me asking why the OP has started a thread about it, because I didn't ask?

Quite simply, the OP doesn't understand why some people do some things differently to other people.

And my point is, she doesn't need to understand other people's sex lives being different to her own.

Everyone is different...your experience is not universal.

Such a misleading thread title...women die from air embolism etc...if they don't wait several weeks as advised by their DOCTORS 🤦‍♀️
What a low and unpleasant post OP

How soon is straight after? Days or weeks?

A long as the woman feels ready/physically enough and isn't doing it because of pressure from a selfish sex pest partner, fine I suppose.

Personally I was exhausted from night feeds and any moment I got to spend in bed I wanted to be asleep! Even when I was getting more sleep I didn't really fancy it until I had stopped breastfeeding as I was so touched out. But I'm not everyone.

I voted YABU because I don't get what you're responding to. No one's making you do it. If they were, that would be a problem, but then if someone makes another person have sex at any time they don't want it, that's a problem. If both people want it, that's fine. Though I've never personally come across anyone who wants it straight after having a baby and I'd assume those folk are fairly rare. But if they can be arsed, then fair play to them. None of our business!

I do think some women are pushed into having sex before they want to or before they should. I remember my late FIL,who was Irish, hated the term “Irish twins” because he felt that it was insulting to Irish men, suggesting that they didn’t wait as long as they should.

We stopped having sex when I was about five months pregnant as I just didn’t feel like it, lost my sex drive completely.
Two weeks after a c section, I started to feel so horny but was still bleeding. When it has stopped after three and a half weeks, I couldn’t WAIT to have sex. Christ that first sex was good.

Is that okay?

I had a c section. I think my midwife told me - give it 6 weeks ! DH dutifully stayed away for those 6 weeks then maybe we had sex once a fortnight until about 6 months . I wouldn’t have bothered if we hadn’t had sex . By 9 months I was feeling good and got a positive pregnancy test when DD was 11 months !!!!

after second and another c section , it look me a good 12 months to feel sexy ! Probably has sex after 6 weeks again but fortnightly.

Children now 2 and 4 and I’m just feeling my old self again re sex. Xxxxxx this is such a hard time . Your exhausted. My dream was sleep not sex.

bit intrigued you have been bothered to waste time making a reply then!

I should have quoted @AintNoPunshineWhenShesGone and @TheTaupeMoosefor their comments re why @hummous123is even starting a thread about it.
I couldn’t give a shit when a woman feels ready for sex after giving birth but I thought their comments were unnecessary and ‘cool’. Hence stating they should just scroll on by.

Of course.

My bit - I never had kids, never been that much into sex. This made me a bit queasy.

This. It's a bit vague

I don't understand those who can be arsed.

Well, good for you 🙄

Eh?

The OP asked ‘AIBU’. The post is literally asking for people to state their opinions. And why on earth do you think people who wanted a sex life after a baby would be trying to seem ‘cool’?!

Surely it's whatever the woman feels comfortable with?

I waited 3 weeks and then 4 weeks. I was told to go ahead when I felt ready, I was never told I had to wait 6 weeks.

Hormones are a crazy thing and they affect people in different ways.

I was 6 weeks, but it was me that wanted it. Your choice.

Plenty of people do though. I know several people who have been pregnant again within weeks of giving birth including a friend who had a September baby then twins the following June. So 3 children in the same class.

Because it means the OP won't understand you doing something differently to her.

If you want to and had an easy delivery with absolute no trauma (me), why not?

You don’t have to understand others who want to do it. Other peoples sex lives aren’t your concern. I can’t imagine someone else’s sex life being something I thought about ever, and there would definitely be nothing further from my mind when I’d just had my children, so I find this a strange thread.

The things you mention though, my house wasn’t a tip as we had a cleaner and my partner did everything else that was needed, my belly went back to pre pregnancy size fairly quickly and I wasn’t even that tired as my partner looked after our babies so that I could sleep between feeds.

Just concentrate on what is right for you, when you start comparing your life in any way to others, it’s not really helpful.

Depends on how you define straight after. We started very gently as soon as bleeding stopped. I was asked at my 6 week check up if I’d sex and if there were any issues! No problems here. In fact my two are a year apart and if second had arrived on time I’d have had two under 1.