Page 3 | Having sex straight after baby

Northquit · 09/11/2025 16:29

I think I read a book - possibly Empire of the Sun - where a man has sex with his wife very soon after the birth of their child. It really made me feel sick.
I have never re-read that book.

Outside9 · 09/11/2025 16:22

By week 4 /5 I was usually keen to do.

I have friends who are happy not to several months postpartum. That's their prerogative but I get the sense they never really enjoyed sex with their partners to begin with.

Those fortunate to be able to have orgasmic sex are happy to do once it's safe and they feel ready.

SouthLondonMum22 · 09/11/2025 16:20

Dibminoupqh · 09/11/2025 16:10

I genuinely believe the ones who do are pressured or guilted by their partners

I wasn't. Some women have easier births, like sex and are happy to get back to it after a few weeks or so.

BettysRoasties · 09/11/2025 16:17

Dibminoupqh · 09/11/2025 16:10

I genuinely believe the ones who do are pressured or guilted by their partners

I have a higher sex drive than dh full stop. He would have waited as long as i wanted. He was very worried about hurting me but to be blunt I wanted it and I wanted it now.

Mapletree1985 · 09/11/2025 16:17

AintNoPunshineWhenShesGone · 09/11/2025 14:14

Why do you feel the need to understand other people's sexual relationships?

Because people are interesting! Why would you not want to understand them?

SouthLondonMum22 · 09/11/2025 16:11

NeelyOHara · 09/11/2025 15:32

I think she was maybe asking why people would ignore medical advice?

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I was told to have sex whenever I felt ready, I was never told to avoid sex for a certain amount of time.

Dibminoupqh · 09/11/2025 16:10

I genuinely believe the ones who do are pressured or guilted by their partners

BluntPlumHam · 09/11/2025 16:08

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 09/11/2025 15:49

I did not bleed for anything like a month. Not everyone is the same.

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That’s great for you. Yes I’m aware not everyone is the same but generally after heavy bleeding which can last for about 10 days you can bleed (amount will vary and reduce) for up to 6 weeks.

Garamousalata · 09/11/2025 15:59

It would be great if men also suffered with their bodies after the birth of their baby. My ex turned into a complete sex pest after I’d given birth. I had an awful labour, a bad tear that took months to heal properly, a breast abscess and PND. All he cared about was his dick getting some action.

freakingscared · 09/11/2025 15:57

What do you mean ? Maybe you do not enjoy sex or are doing it wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️? I actually love having sex and hate going without it with my husband for anything longer than a week . We waited 2 weeks after the births ( c sections ) and honestly it felt to long .

Hobnobswantshernameback · 09/11/2025 15:51

Ooh look a one post wonder op wanting us all to share about our sex lives.....

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 09/11/2025 15:51

Without being TMI; everything about it. Relaxing, good stress relief, easy-going (as long as it's not rough).

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 09/11/2025 15:49

BluntPlumHam · 09/11/2025 15:47

Now that remember, midwife told me light exercise only no power walking or major lifting etc because you’re at risk of haemorrhaging whilst your uterus is shrinking. So yes there is a recommended healing period and you do also bleed for about a month.

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I did not bleed for anything like a month. Not everyone is the same.

OneOpalScroller · 09/11/2025 15:49

Every woman is different but I was 3 weeks PP with my first, 2 weeks with my second and 10 days with my third. All vaginal births if that matters.

if it doesn’t suit you, that’s fine but don’t judge those of us, who do 🙃

BluntPlumHam · 09/11/2025 15:47

Anyahyacinth · 09/11/2025 15:20

Such a misleading thread title...women die from air embolism etc...if they don't wait several weeks as advised by their DOCTORS 🤦‍♀️
What a low and unpleasant post OP

Now that remember, midwife told me light exercise only no power walking or major lifting etc because you’re at risk of haemorrhaging whilst your uterus is shrinking. So yes there is a recommended healing period and you do also bleed for about a month.

BettysRoasties · 09/11/2025 15:46

Anyahyacinth · 09/11/2025 15:20

Such a misleading thread title...women die from air embolism etc...if they don't wait several weeks as advised by their DOCTORS 🤦‍♀️
What a low and unpleasant post OP

I was advised as soon as I was ready no you must wait X time. That was all three of mine spread years apart.

Never ever been told or warned of an air embolism.

fatphalange · 09/11/2025 15:45

None of the things you edited in the OP applied to me so obviously I felt differently to you but of course yanbu everyone is different.

Snowflakecentral · 09/11/2025 15:45

hummous123 · 09/11/2025 14:09

I don't understand those who can be arsed.

Aibu

Edit - I don't mean straight away but generally. So tired, house is a rip, fat belly, body is tired, mind is tired. I just don't care if I don't have sex again

It's a womans choice if she wants to straight away or not. I had sections so no, wasn't happening,
Those that do, maybe some of them have scummy h /p's who will be sniffing around else where if they don't have sex with their men. That is really sad if the bar is that low.

Jane143 · 09/11/2025 15:44

I think we waited at least 2 months as I had loads of stitches and I couldn’t be bothered anyway

BluntPlumHam · 09/11/2025 15:44

lifeonmars100 · 09/11/2025 15:33

I was so sore and bruised that when I went for my 6 week check up the GP said I looked as if I had just given birth and to re-book after another month had passed. Ended up having to be referred to hospital as I was so slow to heal. Meanwhile my poor sex deprived husband had started shagging another woman.

I’m so sorry x he should have been helping you heal and rest x

Hankunamatata · 09/11/2025 15:42

Jesus no. My bits were shredded each time.

BluntPlumHam · 09/11/2025 15:42

I think if both partners are hands on with the baby they’re probably a bit too tired in the early days to have an appetite. From a health perspective absolutely waited a few months till things healed and went back to normal.

ManyATrueWord · 09/11/2025 15:38

I have a theory that so many men are useless and a second child when baby comes home that they become completely undesirable. If you are lucky enough to have a partner who loves and cares for you and baby then by all means you will bond further and be ready to jump his bones

so long as you aren't traumatized by the birth, unwell, getting no sleep, post surgery and a whole host of other good reasons not too. There's a reason why they say eight weeks before sex.

Glitchymn1 · 09/11/2025 15:35

No chance, waited until I’d healed, wanted a date night, shower, massage, film & wine. You have to be careful so it’s all about you.

Cucy · 09/11/2025 15:34

Everyone is different.

For some women it makes them feel good.
Orgasms can do wonders for your body.

But for lots of women, their bodies go into healing mode and they’re put off it for a while.

I know a few women who had sex straight away and they all ended up pregnant - so having 2 within the same year.

If a woman wants sex right after birth I would advise protection.