Having sex straight after baby

hummous123 · 2025-11-09T14:09:30+00:00

I don't understand those who can be arsed. Aibu Edit - I don't mean straight away but generally. So tired, house is a rip, fat belly, body is tired, mind is tired. I just don't care if I don't have sex again

Katemax82 · 12/11/2025 12:47

After baby no.1 I didn't want to because I had stitches so waited 4 weeks. With my middle 2 it was 2 weeks as I had easy births. I had a cesarean with my last baby and never wanted it ever again! It was about 5 weeks but we hardly ever do it now (8 months pp) much to my husband's distress

SwingTheMonkey · 12/11/2025 12:42

Barnbrack · 12/11/2025 07:53

Obviously.
It's that your cervix is wide open and infection can get to the wound, penises can definitely get pretty close to your cervix.

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I’m sure if the risk of infection was that great, the NHS would suggest waiting a certain amount of time?

Barnbrack · 12/11/2025 07:53

CandiedPrincess · 09/11/2025 20:58

Never once in my years of sexual history has any man's penis gone anywhere near my uterus. So no danger of it bodging that plate-sized wound.

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Obviously.
It's that your cervix is wide open and infection can get to the wound, penises can definitely get pretty close to your cervix.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 10/11/2025 09:47

A visiting dad and brand new mum were at it on the mat ward I was in. They closed the curtain and got on with it. MW said it wasn’t uncommon. I was too busy trying to sit up painlessly to care.

SouthLondonMum22 · 10/11/2025 06:20

Barnbrack · 09/11/2025 20:33

Minimum 6 weeks is the NHS advice to allow the dinner plate sized wound in your uterus to heal. Just from the placenta. Before you take any other damage into account. Hence the high risk of infection.

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No it isn't.

The NHS advice online clearly states when the woman feels ready, there is no time given such as 6 weeks. It may have been the advice in the past but it absolutely isn't now.

Again, I have a 3 year old and 18 month old twins. Both times I was never told I must wait 6 weeks, I was told when I feel ready which is exactly what it says online too.

Tink3rbell30 · 09/11/2025 21:10

Common sense to let the body heal. Seen some idiotic comments on mum groups of people saying they did it 3 days after birth etc that's stupidity and an infection risk.

freakingscared · 09/11/2025 21:08

Please stop with the whole 6 week advice it’s not correct . NHS advice

www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/labour-and-birth/after-the-birth/early-days/

BernardButlersBra · 09/11/2025 21:05

Everyone feels differently 🤷‍♀️. About 2 weeks after my c section with twins l was in the mood and so was my husband. 6 weeks after the birth l had lost all the baby weight and was the slimmest l had been for over 10 years. Seems like l was crap at getting pregnant (5 years and 3 rounds of IVF) but pregnancy and post c section are fine for me

freakingscared · 09/11/2025 21:05

Dibminoupqh · 09/11/2025 16:10

I genuinely believe the ones who do are pressured or guilted by their partners

You are wrong , it was me . I really hate going without it for over a week

CandiedPrincess · 09/11/2025 20:58

Barnbrack · 09/11/2025 20:33

Minimum 6 weeks is the NHS advice to allow the dinner plate sized wound in your uterus to heal. Just from the placenta. Before you take any other damage into account. Hence the high risk of infection.

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Never once in my years of sexual history has any man's penis gone anywhere near my uterus. So no danger of it bodging that plate-sized wound.

Barnbrack · 09/11/2025 20:56

BauhausOfEliott · 09/11/2025 20:46

Of course some men pressure their partners. I don’t think anyone’s denying that.

But you said you believed any woman who would have sex during the newborn stage must be under pressure from a partner, which is very different statement and complete nonsense. Some will be. But plenty will not. The desire will vary from woman to woman.

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The desire was there for me, we were on pelvic rest the entire pregnancy both times and I was desperate to get back to it. Tried immediately at 6 weeks after post partum check. Dear God the pain, we immediately gave up and didn't try again for a few weeks. I naively thought it'd hurt less after c section. I was wrong.

BauhausOfEliott · 09/11/2025 20:46

Dibminoupqh · 09/11/2025 17:14

Did I say they didn't?

Not really a weird take, I have several friends who have been pressured or gutted by their partners 🤷‍♀️. Weird you would assume these type of men don't exist

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Of course some men pressure their partners. I don’t think anyone’s denying that.

But you said you believed any woman who would have sex during the newborn stage must be under pressure from a partner, which is very different statement and complete nonsense. Some will be. But plenty will not. The desire will vary from woman to woman.

RubySquid · 09/11/2025 20:44

weericky · 09/11/2025 20:37

Where is that advice

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Yeah not on the. Nhs site the PP linked to

weericky · 09/11/2025 20:37

Barnbrack · 09/11/2025 20:33

Minimum 6 weeks is the NHS advice to allow the dinner plate sized wound in your uterus to heal. Just from the placenta. Before you take any other damage into account. Hence the high risk of infection.

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Where is that advice

Barnbrack · 09/11/2025 20:33

SouthLondonMum22 · 09/11/2025 18:27

Not in the UK. Even the NHS says there’s no rules about when to have sex after giving birth and just warns women that you can be fertile as soon as 3 weeks after birth.

When you feel ready is what I was told both 3 years ago and 18 months ago when mine were born.

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Minimum 6 weeks is the NHS advice to allow the dinner plate sized wound in your uterus to heal. Just from the placenta. Before you take any other damage into account. Hence the high risk of infection.

RubySquid · 09/11/2025 20:31

Barnbrack · 09/11/2025 18:17

Where did you give birth? Because all UK, USA etc guidance is 6 weeks minimum

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I wasn't told that 30 odd years ago. Not that it made any odds as DP was away until DD1 was nearly 4 months old

CandiedPrincess · 09/11/2025 20:05

@Dibminoupqh the relationship board is not a good example. Happy couples are not posting on the relationship board

DisappointedD · 09/11/2025 19:27

I said YABU and that is to care what other people are doing.

It’s completely fine to not want to do it, it’s not fine to be rude about people that do want to.

Milosc · 09/11/2025 19:13

Dibminoupqh · 09/11/2025 18:11

🤷‍♀️ the relationship board alone will tell you it's really common. If it's not you then there's no need to be offended is there 🤷‍♀️

Usually the ones so heavily protesting it's not the case are the ones lying to themselves

Edited

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That is because people who are happy don't post in the relationship boards complaining about things because they don't have issues. So the posts are the people who have issues and that's what you read. Should all the women who like sex with their partners post in the board? No, because they don't need advice. Not everyone's husband/partner is a massive controlling asshole.

North87 · 09/11/2025 18:54

With my first Dc we had sex 9 days after my c section! Second dc was 2 weeks after, c section again.

weericky · 09/11/2025 18:33

YABU

A - to not clarify the time scale, because ‘not straight away but generally’ gives us fuck all to go on

B - because who cares if the house is messy in the context of having sex

C - one post and off you go

MintTwirl · 09/11/2025 18:28

Barnbrack · 09/11/2025 18:17

Where did you give birth? Because all UK, USA etc guidance is 6 weeks minimum

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I’m in England. The NHS website doesn’t advise any particular set time just when you feel ready which is what I (and others on this post) were advised. My dc are between 9 and 15 so this was quite some time ago now but still seems be the same https://www.nhs.uk/baby/support-and-services/sex-and-contraception-after-birth/

SouthLondonMum22 · 09/11/2025 18:27

Barnbrack · 09/11/2025 18:17

Where did you give birth? Because all UK, USA etc guidance is 6 weeks minimum

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Not in the UK. Even the NHS says there’s no rules about when to have sex after giving birth and just warns women that you can be fertile as soon as 3 weeks after birth.

When you feel ready is what I was told both 3 years ago and 18 months ago when mine were born.

Barnbrack · 09/11/2025 18:17

MintTwirl · 09/11/2025 17:05

I wasn’t given a set time to wait, even after my very complicated c section, I was just told I could start again whenever I was ready.
I wasn’t pushed into it by DH(that is actually really insulting to both of us) he is however a very hands on dad who did his fair share and our eldest in particular was a really easy baby so we weren’t exhausted at all.

Where did you give birth? Because all UK, USA etc guidance is 6 weeks minimum

Dibminoupqh · 09/11/2025 18:11

CandiedPrincess · 09/11/2025 17:58

No @Dibminoupqh what you said was that the women who had sex so soon after birth were pressured. It was a sweeping statement and it's bullshit.

🤷‍♀️ the relationship board alone will tell you it's really common. If it's not you then there's no need to be offended is there 🤷‍♀️

Usually the ones so heavily protesting it's not the case are the ones lying to themselves