To think some people work hard at suppressing their emotions, almost like it’s a badge of honour?

I've been thinking a bit about this and I think for those in favour of expressing emotion in a workplace for example, there may be a bit of a gender bias. Take for example someone who is under extreme pressure at work while dealing with serious stress at home and possibly a health issue or exhaustion. They reach a point of being totally overwhelmed and for a man this may involve shouting, slamming a door, throwing a item against the wall etc.. for a woman this may involve bawling her eyes out. Both have showed failure to regulate themselves but the man will be considered a potential bully a potential violent person etc whereas the woman will be offered support. Anger and tears are equal ways of expressing stress and overwhelm and neither should be OK at work.

Typo above! I meant:

There is a current trend in thinking that emotional suppression is likely to lead to burnout or breakdown. I'm not sure how you'd test that theory but in my experience it's people who let their emotions out who seem to have less resilience.

Maybe we're just not all a bunch of drama queens and can cope with the world without making a song and dance about it.

and manage to keep our impatience with those who are to ourselves.

There is a current trend in thinking that emotional suppression is likely to lead to burnout or breakdown. I'm not sure how you'd test that theory but in my experience it's people who let their emotions out who never seem to have less resilience.

I think there’s a time and a place. Taking work as an example, I’m not going to cry to my boss about something outside work. That’s my stuff to handle. I am surrounded though, with people who express every emotion and personal problem at work. It’s draining to be around. I’m amazed at some of the things people think their work needs to know about.

Nails it.

I'm a big believer in 'leave your troubles at the door'. I don't want my colleagues crying at me over wherever is going on, although I am always there for a chat in times of trouble. Same with friends and family. I'm here for support but don't want the tears or drama. I also think if anything some people need to work a bit harder at emotional regulation, it's an important skill to regulate yourself and not expect others to do it for you. Children are able to do this from 5 or 6 for the most part, unless it's times of great upset, so I find it hard to understand why a 42 year old hasnt mastered it yet.

Today's edgy question you mean. 🙄

this!

Ime the opposite also applies, as in there can be pressure to express, or perhaps perform, an emotion regardless of whether it’s felt or not.

People struggle to grasp very normal and natural variation in individuals, and as such they assume that because someone isn’t expressing what they would in any specific situation, that it must be a case of suppression.

You see it at work

of all the places to NOT show emotions and behave in a professional manner, surely work should be number one!

What else than embarrassing or attention seeking do you think being dramatic can be described at work!

This is a very interesting thread, it reminds me of someone I used to know. Emotionally incontinent herself, she demanded quite aggressively that others should share their feelings, describing doing so was "healthy". She had no clue that most people, far from suppressing their feelings, process them in their own way and their own time, sometimes sharing with those they trust. And I never trusted her, she came across as an emotional vampire, voyeuristic and controlling.

People making a show of being sad, upset, angry are the opposite of "strong" and they are exhausting for everyone around.

Yes, being reserved and composed is basic manners and should be the goal.

Sobbing, crying for no reason and being a general wreck are just showing off, and it's boring. It's being adult to self-regulate, and no, it doesn't turn into anything negative.

In extreme circumstances, accidents, sudden horrific news, no one is expecting anyone to suppress emotions under intense pressure.

Trying to gain sympathy and attention is just that, attention seeking and eye rolling.

@TheTaupeMoose I wish I was seeing that

Let's swap lives 😂 Maybe not but you know what I mean! Really not getting any of this at all in my life

so much oversharing even when with acquaintances.

sorry, MN is crashing every five minutes again and I can't edit properly

Personally I agree with you, OP, I notice this a lot. OK, so there's a trend in some parts of society for being emotionally extravagant these days, but there seems to be an equally strong counter-trend, especially on MN, that says anyone who feels or shows emotion at all, over anything other than something like a bereavement - or, cardinal sin, actually cries, is 'pathetic'. Often accompanied, on MN, with a string of crying with laughter emojis. It borders on sociopathy at times imo.

People are getting awfully hard and uncaring and I think it's sad, personally.

I’m at that age of being “stoic”. I don’t over share every or any emotion (no one cares) and I jog on with the here and now. Life is full of ups and downs. 😉

Far too much emotional nonsense goes on now. Nation of wingers and over sharers.

@TheTaupeMoose this "wider attitude" you are talking about, where are you seeing it?

@TheTaupeMoose the only people I know who describe emotional regulation as repression are themselves emotionally incontinent.
Nobody cares about your latest self created problem or that Jane from accounts didn't smile at you, if you need to emotionally dump on someone/everyone you are the problem get a therapist who's atleast paid to listen to your incessant whining. Whilst the rest of us keep calm and carry on

YABU.

Lots of crying and shaking too, over everyday minor issues.

I do wonder how the next generation will cope if they're being raised to witness less and less resilience

I think it's the opposite. Endless navel gazing everywhere. There's no resilience going on.

Life gets hard sometimes. You shouldn't need constant validation of your feelings. It's draining to be around.

Okay, out of interest why does it bother you how other people deal with their feelings?
My mother died earlier this year, we were nc at the time and I went to work as normal on the Monday (she died on the Sunday). I was told by multiple people that 'I should be at home '.
Why do people feel like they can tell me how to feel? I was and am fine 🤷‍♀️