Left job after 25 years, all I got was flowers 🫣

Absolutely agree

I have found that workplaces that call themselves 'family' are generally the absolute worst when it comes to treatment of staff from those at the top

This happened to an old colleague of mine. She worked for the company for over 20 years. She fully expected a party and leaving gifts. But she was a horrible bully and we were all glad to see the back of her. I did start a collection but noone really wanted to give to it. She just couldn't be nice for the last few days. One morning she started on me. So I gave up trying to do anything nice for her. We took that collection money and brought some treats. We had a little tea party with it to celebrate on the first day after she left.

When I left management got me several lovely gifts including jewellery, a handbag and a plaque. I got flowers and balloons from another department. My team took my out for a meal after work.

She’s not wrong though (sadly) 🤷‍♀️

Well if you're the type of person who expresses dissatisfaction by sending facetious messages like that I'm not surprised they weren't falling over themselves to do a collection.

It's very awkward when there is a difference in how different people are treated. I think it often depends on how visible/charismatic someone is. Also those people tend to make more clear they are expecting something and it gets responded to.

At my old firm there was a pattern of when someone was coming up to a big birthday there would be "surprise" champagne and buffet lunch and collection/presents in the boardroom at lunchtime. I noticed it happening mainly for 40th and 50th birthdays of the partners but then someone the same level as me turned 30 and they did it for her. My birthday was a couple of months later (key people were aware) and I had a feeling I would not get the same, even though I'd been there longer and sure enough I was right.

Same when I left. Some people had their boss or secretary arrange a leaving do. I had to organise my own. I did get a leaving present - a nice necklace and earrings set. Unfortunately despite working there 7 years no one noticed i did not have my ears pierced.

Unsurprisingly I'm quiet not particularly charismatic. I guess sometimes people think I "wouldn't like a fuss" (actually I would!) But more likely i just go under the radar and no one actually thinks of me at all. A bit shit but I don't really care any more.

I had been with my company for 10 years and played a big part in the setting up of it. I got on really well with everyone and we socialised and felt like a family.

When I left there was a quite a fuss. We are a small team and we had a special tea break on my last day and I got a voucher and flowers.

However as nice as that was I haven't had one message from anyone ever since. Not one. Lesson learned. Everyone is just is a number.

We’re not able to pay for a leaving gift from the budget due to tax implications. So we organise collections in these circumstances.
If we have a lot going on at the same time then each collection will be less. I’ve also noticed that this is the case in general due to cost of living etc. Nothing to do with how much we appreciate the colleagues.
It also annoyed me when I bought a colleague a lovely bouquet for a significant event on the basis that the whole team said enthusiastically that they’d contribute to the collection. It was time sensitive so I ordered it. They didn’t and I was left footing the bill. I’m not doing that again.

Agree with this 👆

My company wouldn't even give flowers. Colleagues sometimes club together. I left my last role after 8 years and got some flowers.

But I've known of colleagues leaving or retiring and the manager not even being there to say goodbye.

I left one place and from management I got a telling off for not resigning " the right way." Apparently written notice is not a polite way to resign. And there was me going with the correct legal method.
I also got an mdf plaque ( aka firelighter) of their badly drawn logo celebrating 25 years of service. ( I'd done 30) So I could have a permanent reminder to look at daily..this after I left from mismanagement, stress and burn out.

A previous job Someone made a "Thankyou for your service" speech about me at works do. Someone who fancied themselves as a bit of a stand up comedian. I was just embarrassed on their behalf. It was awful and just got increasingly insulting as he got more and more desperate to get a laugh. He just had to sit down in silence at the end. Nobody knew what to do. Hilarious in retrospect.

I've never worked anywhere where the employing organisation gave a leaver something of monetary value, because they've chosen to leave and the employer didn't want them to.

If your employment relationship was terminated by them, would you give your boss vouchers?

Did you work your full notice period and do the required handover constructively etc? Has your leaving created some bad feeling for some reason?

Retirement or leaving for SAHP is completely different and employer would give something.

Leaving cards, gifts, nights out etc are organised by colleagues and are just a reflection of your work relationships. I've seen everything from company-wide gushing card messages, cash collection and meal out, to absolutely nothing (for someone who had been there 25 years and everyone was glad to see the back of them).

What was she expecting? I am glad cash strapped councils are not wasting public money on leaving gifts, strange that a senior person in a management position thinks they are owed more.

I would say flowers from the company is pretty decent. Where I am the company does not send any leaving gifts, I don’t know anywhere that does.

Collections are usually initiated by colleagues, not ‘the company’ and since Covid people don’t give much (and also don’t care about their colleagues that much).

I wouldn’t take it personally, just how society is changing: work is just work, colleagues are not friends, they can leave at any point and we’ll never see them again.

You should never assume you matter to an employer. You'll be forgotten about within days of leaving.
Sorry to seem like a miserable cynic. I'm not, I'm just a realist.
I like change, so move on every 2-5 years, and I always do an eyebrow raise at long standing members of staff who think they're part of a work "family" and carry huge social currency within the organisation.
You're a line on a spreadsheet and nothing more. You provide a service, they pay you for it.
It's better to go into every new employment situation with that knowledge in mind.

{mention:BruceLeTerror}@BruceLeTerror, I recently arranged a leaving collection and was surprised, not by the amount collected, that was fine, but by the percentage of staff who participated. It really left me feeling down, as a measure of the teams appreciation of these staff. I will continue to contribute to everyone else's leaving collections, but when my turn comes I'm going to specify no present.

The nameplate from my office door, and £100 voucher for sports gear (which was very welcome). 18 years there. I was fine with it, and someone gave a really lovely speech.

I have only worked in public sector so it's always just a collection from colleagues that's used to buy flowers, wine or a voucher, a 15 min Teams call is usually booked in to present this so everyone has the opportunity to say goodbye in our hybrid working arrangements.

I contribute more since COVID with online collections as the organiser knows how much everyone has put in and have blanket policy of £5 for all collections. A box of flowers could easily cost £50 so unless you are a really high earner or work in a massive team most people wouldn't expect more than that, plus you got extras like chocolates on top! A really nice message or personal goodbye is more meaningful.

Yep I was with a small company of 8 people three of whom were directors. Worked closely with them everyday. Worked for them for nearly 13 years and I was let go during COVID. Received my redundancy notice and the other two directors didn't even bother to send a farewell message to me.

We’ve had loads of people leave recently due to a restructure and voluntary redundancy. Lots of them have worked there decades. But I haven’t been able to donate to all the collections as there are just too many. Could it be something like that?

You had only been there 25 years and are leaving, no idea why you thought you’d be entitled to more. Collections are usually from colleges and those that get more are the lively happy go lucky type who everyone loves.

I think you need to remember a job is just a job. Most employers will easily make you redundant without a second thought if they need to cut costs or if they have a way of operating cheaper without you. It is increasingly common for people to leave without much fanfare IME. The lesson to take away is whilst you should do your job well and work hard, if an opportunity comes for you to do better, take it without a thought. Loyalty counts for nothing.

I left after 28 years and got nothing from the school. However, I did get gifts and cards from colleagues.

Don't take it negatively, take it as reaffirmation that you made the right choice to go.

I'm sorry, OP.

Unfortunately, this is why I always remind myself and others not to kill themselves and volunteer their personal time for their jobs. You will be replaced in a heartbeat should you get hit by a bus, and downsized out the minute the economy turns or the higher ups want more money for themselves at the expense of the people actually doing the work.