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AIBU?

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Original poster

DS not home yet

212 replies

TeenMumCantSleep · 09/11/2025 04:08

DS 17 went out last night. Texted to say he’ll be coming home after 1am.
i can see where he is on the phone tracker but he’s not answering my texts and phone is going to vm.
do i go round? He’ll be annoyed as he’ll say I can see where he is, but he has not communicated what he is doing or if he is ok.
i went round to a friend’s house in the morning a few weeks ago and he wasn’t happy with me. I knew this friend, but I don’t know whose house he is at right now.
I’m worried but also so cross at his lack of communication - he knows I will be worrying.
what would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
TeenMumCantSleep · 09/11/2025 04:30

I’ve messaged to say I’m coming round (although I’m not quite yet). No reply.
im sorry everyone, I can’t work out how to reply to your messages but I do really appreciate them x

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 09/11/2025 04:29

OP, if he's with a girl, the last thing he will want is you showing up. Or if he's with his mates, watching Youtube & playing computer games. Can't you remember how humiliating that would have felt?

He's told you he's fine, that he's staying out late. You can see where he is. Perhaps it's time to give him a bit of freedom & privacy, unless you have any reason to think he'll get too drunk to make his way home or that he'll try and drive.

Zoflorabore · 09/11/2025 04:27

I would message again and tell him that unless he replies to you then you will be round there in 10 mins or whatever just to see if it makes him answer you.
we never stop worrying no matter how old our dc are. My son is 22 now and I never settle when he’s on a night out until he gets home.

Original poster
TeenMumCantSleep · 09/11/2025 04:23

I’m worried that he’s drunk if I’m honest. And I don’t know who lives in that house, although he did say earlier that he is with one friend that I know

OP posts:
Cliveatnight · 09/11/2025 04:19

What are you worried about if you can see where he is?

Original poster
TeenMumCantSleep · 09/11/2025 04:16

Messages delivered, but can’t tell if they are read x

OP posts:
Underthemagnificentbeechtree · 09/11/2025 04:16

17 is a tricky age! My eldest is 13 so I haven’t been there yet.

I feel that with no contact at all you don’t know he is okay just by knowing the location of his phone, so that’s not a valid argument on his part. If he wants to remain undisturbed he needs to get into the habit of sending a text at least!

Is the address a known address (a friend’s) and if not, is it residential?

Assuming he’s in a house, and especially if you know the house, I’m not sure you can go at this time of night - he and the other occupants (who all probably have no idea he hasn’t let you know of his whereabouts) will be asleep and it will create a major drama to rouse the house and ensure he’s there.

I might be tempted to pop by at 7am though!

Doyathinkhesaurus · 09/11/2025 04:16

Is he reading the messages? If he is - send a message saying you are worried and want to know he is safe and a message will put your mind at rest. If he does not reply there will be consequences.
if he’s not reading messages he’s probs asleep. Talk it through in the am.

Original poster
TeenMumCantSleep · 09/11/2025 04:15

Thanks both … I don’t know how to reply to your messages!! I appreciate your feedback.. although I’m still not sure what to do as you said the opposite to each other 😂

OP posts:
Silvercoconut · 09/11/2025 04:15

BengalBangle · 09/11/2025 04:12

No, don't go round!!!
At 17, his old enough to not have Mummy track his every move.

Well then he should answer his sodding phone to say he's not coming home and he's okay! He's 17 not 27

Silvercoconut · 09/11/2025 04:13

Oh god I remember when my sons did this drove me crazy with worry.
I would go around. He can't just disappear all night - I know you know where he is but he needs to be answering his phone or texting you to tell you he's okay.
I told mine it was one of the conditions of being allowed to stay out so late, he is only 17 after all.

BengalBangle · 09/11/2025 04:12

No, don't go round!!!
At 17, his old enough to not have Mummy track his every move.