DS not home yet

So you track?

because in your first post you expressed horror at tracking

There is a vast gulf between going back to sleep without caring and getting in the car and driving to someone's house at 4am.
Last night my DS was back late. I woke up at 11.30 and found he wasn't here. I checked his location and stayed awake until he came in the door. I do understand that parents worry, I do too. But would I go searching for him when I could see where he was? Absolutely not. It's a massive overreaction. It's infantilising. And it wouldn't have been possible before smartphones - it's a direct consequence of the negative impact of smartphones on our generation of kids. They don't get the same autonomy that 17 year olds have had since the dawn of time.

The amount of people trying to seem like cool parents on here is ridiculous. He's 17, not 27. Its perfectly normal to expect your teens to let you know where they are. You are legally a child in terms of safeguarding until you turn 18.

I was home by 11 until I left home. I was of course allowed to stay at friend's houses, but I was expected to let my parents know. It's totally normal. It's not controlling to expect your teen to be home at an acceptable hour on school nights, and to let you know their location on a weekend.

I also actually think that no matter your age, it's common courtesy to let your household members know if you'll be stopping out. I text my partner if I'm running late or something!

Also would be interesting to see how the responses change for a daughter.

I’m glad he contacted you & is safe ..
They’re such a worry , no matter what age they are & all it takes is a reply back 🙄
I have a 21 year old son & 23 year old son , I have daughters also ..
It’s busier when they’re little but give me busy any day !
Anyway, glad all is well .. x x

I don’t know what is worse, being left for DAYS at a time goodness knows where and with whom, without a raised eyebrow as a minor, or the fact you are seemingly unaware that this is extremely poor parenting.

I am sorry you were not cared for properly.

That’s great to hear. My DC are now in their 30s but I remember what it was like at that age and I do feel for you. I was more relaxed when they went off to university and I had no idea what they were doing!!

Well there we go

we both had great experiences

and if you, like me, now financially and wholly independent and happy - then all worked out well in the end!

I’m sure you’re not alone
but for me… this is unfathomable!

Mind boggled that there are apparently households where every member of the family is responsible for their own laundry rather than it just all going in the machine when there's enough for a load. Bizarre.

Am I the only mum that just goes to sleep when their 17 yr old is out then? 👀
Is that bad?
I don't even wake when he comes in as he's so quiet. I saw the light I leave on was off when I woke at 5am this morning so I know he's in.

This, we were at his age.

Wow - quite a range of responses! I'm glad he is ok, OP. Most of us do understand why you were worried, and your dilemma about what to do. xx

Great. I loved being 17 too - and still managed to pay for my own phone, wash my pants and cook some of my own meals, and didn't have my parents fussing over my every move

All I can say is that I loved it! Lots of time to study, play sport and socialise!

and now a financially independent all round pretty successful single parent!

She knew his location- but I don’t think she knew whose house it was or many details.

do you have teens?

Exactly he's 17.
Let him live his life 🤣
Also it's not a question of tracking, it's called sharing location and I think it's great that we can!
A 17-year-old can't just change their mind and do what they bloody want they are actually accountable to their parents you know!

Very glad he's ok but honestly I'd be having words, as I'm sure you will, they are so thoughtless but that age.

My 17 year old is still at school. He has a part time job but is far from financially independent. I cook his meals and do his washing. I make sure he's done his homework and buy him most of his clothes. That's pretty normal, surely?

There's nothing good about being "mollycoddled" at 17.

Because he's less than a year off adulthood - far too old to have mummy washing his dirty pants and paying for his mobile phone 😂

All this. Its disrespectful and hes 17 so presumably still at school so needs to check in with parents. A 17 year olz who has just started drinking is not an adult.

If he's drunk, what can you do about it? Most 17 year olds get drunk. There are much more things than that to be worried about. If he's drunk he will soon be sober.

I wasn’t least bit mortified to be mollycoddled by my parents! 😆

Too busy studying, playing netball and seeing friends!

Why should he be?

I wasn’t, not at all!

Now a very independent single parent of two teens with a senior role in childcare services.

He has his entire life to do the “other stuff” so I’m happy to cook for him, get the groceries in, pay his mobile bill etc. so that he can have a few years of sixth form (he has a couple hours of homework every night) plus sport 4x a week plus a very full social life

and I bloody LOVE it for him

Isn't this the problem though?

He's 17 - he should be working, contributing to the house, cooking, doing all his own laundry and not being so dependent on mummy to pay for everything. I'd be mortified to have been so coddled at 17 years of age.