AIBU to think this tutor has an attitude?

Hah, you’re good at this! Nice one OP. You had us all going for a while.

I really don't think its acceptable to be calling the op's son a duffer. Can this thread not be reduced to insults?

@SoCloseToNothing1981 you are November of Year 11 and you seem to have no idea what your sons mock grades/predicted grades are and what he wants to do

Stop parenting a child you want and start looking at the one you have and that including focusing on making sure his maths and English are passes and getting him to where he should be

and with respect that isn’t history a level I don’t even think it is A level have you looked at sixth form colleges for him

Your tutor is obviously dedicated and passionate about trying to help even the duffers succeed.

Sounds as if this duffer will, metaphorically at least, suffer the fate of duffers. He's already adrift.

Student or not, the tutor seems to be giving exactly the right advice. But he can't force the lad to put in the work, or give him the ability if he hasn't got it.

@ParmaVioletTea there's no need to be insulting, plenty of highly qualified will have worked as receptionists for various reasons

I'm a teacher. Believe me it's reality!!

Last years I had a parent tell me off because I set a revision homework based on weak points in the mock exam. I was told it was not my job to tell him what to revise? Who me? The expert?

Doesn't mean that he will make a successful transition to a level. And it doesn't sound like a 6 is achievable anyway based on the nuggets you have included that weren't attitude regarding telling the tutor how to do his job

As someone who runs a tuition company, you can’t revise if you don’t have the knowledge first!
number 1 is ensuring subject knowledge and content is understood. You can’t revise (aka go over and be confident in) a topic you aren’t familiar with.
we always do a baseline assessment, so we know where to target the teaching.

How will he catch up with no notes?

@SoCloseToNothing1981 your child cannot revise if he doesn't know the stuff in the first place.

You hired (another) tutor as presumably the first two also didn't agree with you. But if you were actually expert on this, which being a school receptionist does not make you btw, you would be able to support ds yourself.

Year 11 mocks and being nowhere near a 5 is absolutely not a good foundation for going forward to a level and I very much doubt school or college would make an offer etc on that basis

I haven’t RTFT and I imagine others will have laid this out for you already @SoCloseToNothing1981, but in case not, these are the stages of passing exams, in chronological order:

1. Understand the material.
2. Develop the skills to analyse the material and write essays about it.
3. Remember the material (i.e. learn revision techniques).
4. Practice.

You are fixated on stages 3 and 4 (revising and essay practice) when it sounds like your son is still struggling with stages 1 and 2.
The tutor would be wasting his time teaching your son to make mind-map essay plans about the Cold War when he doesn’t know what/when the Cold War was, have the facts to actually fill in the mind map or the skills to write the essay.

I think you are paying this tutor good money to teach your son, so leave him alone to crack on and teach him.

I think that's possibly because those of us who are teachers, tutors etc will have encountered parents in real life who are exactly like this. So it's hard to tell!l for certain!

It might be completely fabricated but I had two parents of children in my class last year who were very much like this.

Honestly op. It's clear as day from the outside that history is not for your son. His teacher and 3 tutors have told you as much. Don't throw more money after this. 3 sessions will be very expensive for you and If your son is now only getting 2's and 3's in his mocks, he is never going to achieve a high enough grade to study at A Level even is the school allowed him to . He could do far better on another subject and it won't be like pushing water up a hill. I'm sure it will nearly be a relief to your son at this stage. It really does sound like he is totally lost in the class and that's honestly a horrible place to be. I

So, you’re a receptionist. Have you even got A Levels @SoCloseToNothing1981 ?

YABU. You are lucky the tutor is prepared to slog on with an arrogant ignorant parent and a lazy pupil.

If it were me (and I have a PhD in history) I’d be sacking your son, just for your attitude. Your tutor is obviously dedicated and passionate about trying to help even the duffers succeed.

This has to be a wind up. How can the tutor teach him to revise if he has no notes?! Revision is going over what you've learnt. He's telling you he hasn't learnt most of it. I'm hoping for the tutors sake you don't take him up on his current offer!

The tutor has given you a reality check and seems to have been candid and patient in their dealings with you. Your son needs a lot of hands on help to even get through GCSE history. A level success looks very unlikely at this point. I would take their advice or drop the whole tutoring approach and resign yourself to the very likely outcome. This blaming everyone else approach will get you nowhere. Tutoring can help but the commitment needs to be there from the student and oversleeping for a first session is really not on.

Edited because oops misread your post

It is good practice to assess!

This jumped the shark so early and people are still giving genuine advice. Ffs.

But he needs down time from not studying and sleeping in.

Op if this is real - can I suggest a big shift here that will help you.

Rather than blame anyone else - you need to start accepting that by this age your son is the one who is responsible. He is absolutely spinning you a line - not taking. notes because the teacher is crap?!

The reason he isn't taking notes is because he is not engaging in the lesson, taking notes and paying attention.

I have absolute sympathy for students who struggle to focus/ are lazy even - because that was me! I'm now an adult with a good job and have learnt how to be more focused - not everyone can be a great student at 16 - people mature at different rates.

BUt what is problematic here is that you are not being clear with your son about responsibility - it's on HIM to learn history - there is no point him knowing how to revise if he literally does not know the stuff he needs to revise in the first place.

the tutor is right - he needs the first level of understanding the knowledge - he has to actually be taught the subject and he hasn't been listening in school

It sounds like he has zero interest in the subject and is doing absolutely no work!!

history A level is a subject I'd imagine you need to be very interested in reading and writing essays, not a subject for the lazy student!

OP, have you reflected on the poll % here? I know AIBU can be harsh but you are being told overwhelmingly that your expectations of the tutor are unreasonable.

You are fixated on the idea that your DS will be fine as long as someone can show him how to make some mindmaps.

If he doesn't have the basic knowledge and also doesn't have the focus or intention or time to dedicate to apply himself then he is not going to be able to push up his grade.

Why don't you work with him on revision techniques, note taking, visual mind maps etc and let the tutor focus on filling in the knowledge gaps and exam technique skills.

You are pretty infuriating. From your own words, everyone can see where the issues lie and yet you are oblivious.

I think a university student could serve as a tutor for a bright child who needs to practice things - so to go over things in class to embed them or talk a language with the child to practice it. it sounds like ops son needs way more input than that. Op have you studied history to a high level yourself?

@SoCloseToNothing1981 you're approaching your son's academic progress in the wrong way.

The first port of call needs to be his head of year & individual subject tutors. You must have a clear picture of how he's doing and where he needs to put in the effort. They will give appropriate guidance which you then follow.

A tutor should be used to complement this.

Your son isn't cut out for history a level, you need to accept that and just concentrate on getting him through his gcse.

However, if he's also underperforming in his other subjects then you may be wise to drop history before it gets to exams and focus on getting him a pass in his other subjects.

Time for cricket should definitely be off the table - it's beginning to sound as though he'll be lucky to scrape any gcses at all. You need to understand what his current grade predictions and then pull out all the stops to get him to pass at least the essential gcses.

That means discipline and consistency.

I agree that the tutor saying 'take it or leave it' could be rude, but quite frankly you not been listening to him - or anyone else here - telling you that you're barking up the wrong tree. The situation needs spelling out bluntly.

This should be a wake up call for both you and your son. He needs to be nose to grindstone from now on until the end of the academic year, which isn't long. Do exams still start in June? He's got no more than about 6 months.

It's absolutely doable but he really needs to pull his finger out and you need to stop relying on anecdotal advice from friends at the school and engage properly with his head of year, subjects leads and his tutor.