AIBU to think this tutor has an attitude?

I feel bad for him because he likes the subject, but he's just not very good at it and obviously that's problematic if he is considering this subject as a potential academic or career pathway.

@SoCloseToNothing1981 There is no way he would make a career out of this when he doesn’t even have sufficient interest or discipline to make notes during his lessons. Certainly not if he’s expected to get a 5 for History. He needs to find something he’s actually good at to have a viable career path. You’re enabling his lackadaisical attitude by making excuses for him and blaming the tutors.

Honestly op you have got to be kidding. Being able to recall dates or in fact what area of history are basic skills to take history. The tutor did an assessment to identify what support was needed - they cannot simply tell your child how to revise if they don't have the subject knowledge.
Also you are trying to make the tutor seem in the wrong by saying they sighed when your son slept in and couldnt find a charger. No wonder they sighed they will have spent time preparing for the session and it sounds like basic organisation is an issue

I got a grade A for my History GCSE way back in 1988. I got a D for A-level. Everyone else in my class failed. I'd been predicted to get an A or B at A-level. It's HARD. It didn't help that I didn't revise but if he's struggling with the GCSE there's no way he should even consider A-level.

he contacted the tutor to ask if it was possible for him to push the lesson back an hour because we had mistimed when we would be able to get back to the hotel

Okay.
Wind up - has to be.

Your DH seems to understand the situation far better than you do. As everyone has said, “let the tutor do his job”. Or stop using his services and do it yourself (as you clearly know better).

You are lucky the tutor hasn't fired you as clients tbh, you have no respect for his time by messing around and being late for lessons. You are really rude.

The tutor sounds excellent. The first thing any good teacher finds out is what a pupil knows, so they can identify areas of need. That’s exactly what your tutor was trying to do.

You'd think that this was so bloody obvious, but refusing to admit just that is a sure path to the car crash that's following 😂

Hey @SoCloseToNothing1981 I am a tutor (not history, not touting for business!) and tbh I would not be overly keen on spending hour after hour teaching a student how to revise. Firstly, they should be covering that sort of thing in school as it is a cross-subject skill; and secondly it’s something to spend a short time on – giving ideas and discussing the best ways – but not IMHO a good use of an hour’s tutor session. As PPs say, it really isn’t the time to be discussing “flash cards or mindmaps?” when he doesn’t even know what the Cold War was.

Did you tell the tutor upfront the main purpose was to teach your DS how to revise? Not sure I would take that gig tbf.

It’s really annoying btw if you are all set up on a Zoom call and the student is late.

Also if your DS has gaps in his history knowledge – which by his own admission he has, in terms of notes and by the sound of it, some fairly basic details on topics – well that is much more the thing for the tutor to address. If a tutor is backing up in-school lessons (rather than teaching the GCSE themselves, say to a HE student) then they need to find out what the student knows (hence the initial assessment) and then work on any gaps. Without the basic knowledge of the topic it’s going to be a struggle.

Finally, after two months of tutoring, the tutor should have a pretty good idea of what your DS is capable of – so how much of the issues are relating to poor teaching and how much to his own lack of skill, application, ability, basic knowledge. Sounds as tho he has given you an honest assessment that history A level might not be the best way forward. I have taught GCSE to students who would IMHO struggle with the A level and if I thought that was their plan, I might well chat through with the parent why it wasn’t the best idea. He is trying to help and give you the benefit of his knowledge and experience. I would listen if I were you.

If he loves history there are plenty of ways to pursue that passion without taking A level – visit museums, visit historic sites in UK or elsewhere, read up on it – that can take you in any direction, and might be a lot more enjoyable.

I'm a secondary school teacher.

Your son can't create a mind map of his knowledge if he has no knowledge.

The tutor could teach your son as many revision techniques as you like, but if your son doesn't know anything, then what is he going to use those revision techniques to revise?

You're putting the cart before the horse here.

Frankly, you're exactly the kind of parent who causes teachers enormous headaches. You think you know better than us and yet you have zero qualifications and experience in teaching. This lack of understanding of how teaching works is very evident from your posts, I'm afraid.

Your son's teacher has said your son is not suited to History. The tutor has said the same. You need to start listening.

Many students tell us that they really love something and want to do well at it, but what they really mean is they love the idea of something and the idea of doing well at it. They're not actually prepared to do any work to get there.

Your son is one of these students.

He doesn't love history - if he did, he'd know what the Cold War was.

He doesn't want to do well at History - if he did, he'd have bloody well got up on time for the tutor. He'd be making notes in class. He'd be reading up on the periods of history he's studying outside of class.

You are looking everywhere but at your son here for the source of the problem.

I'd suggest you stop wasting money on a tutor and just accept that your son is not going to be doing A Level History.

@SoCloseToNothing1981 as kindly as possible, if the lad's expected to get a 6 for English, he honestly doesn't sound like a strong candidate for essay heavy subjects.

Might he be better off doing something more practical and vocational.

You don’t seem to understand what a baseline assessment is or what the purpose of a baseline assessment is for a start.

How can your DS revise something if he hasn’t yet retained the knowledge to revise from in the first place?

The tutor sounds completely reasonable. He’s assessed the student, identified clear gaps, and, quite responsibly, warned that A-level History demands a strong foundation in exactly those skills (essay structure, argumentation, use of sources). That’s part of his duty, not overstepping.

You seem frustrated that the tutor is focusing on content rather than how to revise- but revision strategy only works if there’s solid knowledge to revise from!

You clearly see tutoring as a sort of “study skills service” rather than subject tutoring.

That’s without even getting into your son sleeping in, not taking any notes in class or even knowing what topic they were covering that week…

Well I think you jumped the shark with the 3 tutors post, but in case this is real I will give my experience. Now this was nearly 30 years ago so things may have changed but I got an A in GCSE History, it was one of my favourite subjects and so I chose it for A' Level as well.

A'Level History was 2 years of misery for me, it was like a different subject and I barely scraped a D. I managed to get an A in English so I had decent writing skills, but I just couldn't get on with it at all.

I don't think you're doing your son any favours by making excuses for his laziness, or criticising a tutor who is giving an expert opinion. You need to listen to what he is telling you.

I really don't think you understand what a tutor does...

They can't teach him how to revise a subject until he has some knowledge to revise - as he evidently doesn't listen in class or take notes, he has little to nothing to revise.

If you know so much about revision methods, you teach him those things and then he can apply that to what the tutor teaches him.

Or hire a revision coach/tutor who will help him learn how to effectively revise all subjects.

Assessments are normal - again, how do you teach someone if you don't know what the starting point is, or where the holes in their knowledge are?!

I think you're lucky this tutor hasn't sacked you off - if you were to turn up half an hour late to an online appointment with me you'd lose the entire appointment (I wait 15 minutes then I get on with something else) and if you did it again, I would fire you as clients.

"Revision" means to remind oneself of things you once knew or could do, but have forgotten. But it sounds as if there are a lot of things your son never knew in the first place, so he can’t "revise" them.

The tutor sounds excellent. The first thing any good teacher finds out is what a pupil knows, so they can identify areas of need. That’s exactly what your tutor was trying to do.

I think you woukd be foolish not to take his advice.

People are getting annoyed with you as you are just not listening!!!!! Stop focusing on revising, he doesn’t even know what he’s doing when he doesn’t know what the Cold War was. What does his Dad say about all this?

You son can do history, in his spare time as a hobby. What is apparent is he doesn’t have is the academic ability to successfully succeed at A level.

What you are assessing as unprofessional conduct by the tutor is actual utmost professionalism. He is giving you an honest assessment.

He is also being clear with you on what the boundaries are for tutoring. Just because you thought it was something else, it would be better for you to adjust your thinking on this, rather than continue with your misplaced upset.

Worse comes to worse? Tbh expect it. Yoy have had a fair warning.

If he does well in Economics or Philosophy and Ethics why not go with that instead of a subject he isn't good at and doesn't improve with tutoring?

good grief, poor kid, can you imagine the OP teaching him herself (or himself?)
That's a sure way to give up on school for the next 20 years 😂

Education is beyond important, couldn't agree more, but there's a limit even for pushy parents.

The tutor sounds right, the subject doesn't suit your child.

You could make topic mind maps with your child yourself if you feel they will help and then try to get him to write an essay.

Why waste money paying a tutor when you feel it is not helping him. Paying a tutor won't put the knowledge in your son's head and the tutor is being honest when they tell you it's not working. The other tutors clearly couldn't help him either.

Hard to accept but you need to see that he doesn't have the ability and the tutors have tried to tell you. I'd imagine the tutor is getting frustrated as you're not listening to them.

Has anyone told you that you can't be present when the kid take the actual exam?

You are so ridiculously over-invested and suffocating, that seems to have slipped your mind.

I am all for supporting (and even pushing!) kids to study and do well - and getting a tutor is a very good idea, but there's a limit on how involved you need to be and how irrelevant your opinion are.

You don't even KNOW how to help him study, why do you think you can criticise and tell the tutor what to do, when they're trying to do just what they are paid for?

You’re in for a treat when you read the rest of the OP’s updates then!

Wow.... I've only read the OP but I can't believe what I just read!!

JFC OP, you are the problem, not the tutor. If you know so much about how to revise, why don’t you teach DS yourself?
Also being late because he slept in and couldn’t find a charger, that is ridiculous. He really needs to get it together. Most people in generations past were working full time jobs at this age.
You are really not doing DS any favours by refusing to accept what the tutor is saying.

People are thinking it's a wind up as each detail you add makes this seem more and more unreasonable!

Your Yr 11 son should at the very least realise that he needs to take notes (regardless of his opinions of his teacher), particularly if he isn't able to even retain something as basic as the actual topic he's learning!

The tutor will be well aware of how mind maps work so sending him an example is incredibly condescending and rude.

Ultimately, you can't revise what you don't know, taking in new information is just learning. The tutor AND his teacher have both said that history at a-level isn't for him, they aren't telling you how to parent, they are being realistic with the knowledge they have of your son and what will be expected of him.