AIBU to think this tutor has an attitude?

Maybe if your son took notes and showed an interest in class he wouldn’t need a tutor. Just a thought.

I can hardly believe this post is real. I tutor occasionally alongside teaching. The very first task is always a baseline assessment. I have never had a tutee late for a first lesson-if shows a complete lack of commitment and motivation.

Forgot to quote;

arcticpandas · Today 08:29
As a side note ** you don't need a tutor to teach your son to do quizzes etc. Chatgpt will do that for him in a second.

MatchaMatchaMatcha · Today 08:33
He shouldn't go near chatgpt. He needs to learn how to engage and think for himself, chatgpt will reinforce the opposite

I totally agree but it was the OP who wished that the tutor should help DS with how to do flash cards and quizzes. Those are no brainers and chatgpt can sort those out. Ofcourse this won't lead to a deeper understanding nor with critical thinking but it doesn't sound like that's what the OP wants for her child. This makes me think that OP hasn't finished a higher education herself and is therefore not in a position to neither tell the tutor how he should be doing his job nor to guide her son with his academic future.

Are you a teenage boy writing this about your desire to do history? Cant imagine any parent actually behaving like this.

I would put money on OP updating later that the tutor now completely agrees with her, is really grateful for the mind map and will now tutor for free.

Or something else that didn't happen.

I'm a bit lost. How can he revise what he hasn't already learnt?

Unfortunately no amount of revision techniques will compensate for giant gaps in knowledge. Like not knowing what the Cold War is. You can’t mindmap your way out of that.

It’s the big knowledge gaps that need to be tackled to make the most difference to his grade.

The tutor sounds great. A baseline assessment is necessary to determine strengths/weaknesses. So you can make the most use of time.

It’s up to you if you want ignore his good advice.

As a general bit of advice, if a student just scrapes in to the schools GCSE requirements to sit an A level they are not going to do well at that A level. This thread is obviously for maths but the same applies to other subjects. It is possible to look up from past results the statistics on getting a level grades from GCSE results
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/secondary/5146609-yearly-warning-not-to-take-a-level-maths-with-less-than-a-7-at-gcse?page=1

You and the tutor are talking at cross purposes. You’re right that knowing how to revise is a skill and can be taught. But actually some of what you’re describing isn’t revising anyway, it’s learning things for the first time. Your son’s tutor’s speech at the start of the sessions was just him saying your son needs to listen and learn in class, revise by himself and use his tutoring sessions. His point was that tutoring is not a replacement for class or for independent revision work at home. Students can’t slack off in class, bring all their homework to tutoring sessions and then blame the tutor when they don’t do well. It’s unreasonable of you to think the tutor is wrong to explain this because you really wanted some help for your son with methodology. Did you tell the tutor this at the time? Or just stew on it for weeks without communicating?

Your son absolutely needs to be taking notes in class! Why isn’t this happening? Has he not made the leap between being told what to write down and deciding what to record himself? Again, this is a skill that can be taught but your child’s history tutor would not have known this is the issue until your son mentioned it and he also may or may not be experienced in teaching kids this kind of methodological skill - he may not have tutored kids with this issue before.
The way your son is mixing up historical events suggests he’s not making links between different historical events. So the Cold War probably would not have happened without the Second World War, for example.

OP I haven’t read the whole thread although I have read a good deal of it. You say:

DS thought he had been working on the Cold War that week in school and so the tutor set him some questions on the Cold War. DS, bless him, really struggled with the first question so didn't have time to look at the rest of the questions. The tutor ran through the questions with DS, and that was when DS realised he hadn't actually done the Cold War and he'd gotten the name confused with something else

I took history at A Level and later went on to do a degree in Modern History. I'd been fascinated by history and the past since my childhood and I loved (still love) the subject. However, I’d never have had the ability or temperament for an academic path in the subject, which is highly competitive and very, very specialised. I have to say, if your DS doesn’t take notes in lessons and can’t even remember whether he’s being taught about the Cold War or 'something else', this is a problem. A big problem.

Does he really have any interest in history? I have to say, I’m surprised - to say the very least - by your mention of 'a potential academic or career pathway'.
What subjects is your DS good at and what does he enjoy? Because it seems to me that anyone contemplating choices for a lifetime should at least start out prioritising the subjects they actually have an affinity with. Otherwise it’s a dreary old path and a long haul working at something they hate and aren’t good at.

Same!! I'm so embarrassed for the OP and her son who has appalling organisation and time management

“If 'doing really well' for him looks like a grade 6 in one subject, I'd also be considering if he should do A levels at all as it seems just setting him up for failure.”

I also agree with this. Your DS may be very able in a range of areas but not very bookish. That’s absolutely fine. It may be worth looking at other options for further education.

OP you’ve hired a tutor for your son and you’re not prepared to listen to what he says even though he’s echoing what you’ve already been told by your sons’ teacher - that he’s struggling and would be better taking a different subject. It may not be palatable but unless you listen to them, you’re setting your son up to fail. And you’re wasting your money.

My question would be what is it about history that your son actually likes?

So far it appears that:
He thinks his teacher isn't good
He doesn't make notes in lessons
He isn't good at essay writing or dates
He's burned through 2 tutors already
He doesn't know what he has covered in school in the past week
He's currently predicted a 4 in GCSE

And somehow despite all this, he loves history and wants to do it at A level.

To me it sounds as if there is something about history in general that he likes - narratives? Horrible Histories? but unfortunately history as an academic subject is not actually like this.

If 'doing really well' for him looks like a grade 6 in one subject, I'd also be considering if he should do A levels at all as it seems just setting him up for failure.

I did History, Philosophy, RS and a Philosophy degree. I never used any flashcards to revise Philosophy and I don't think remembering the concepts specifically rather than remembering how to use them is very useful. It's more important to practise writing and reasoning. If you have done well in Philosophy A-level until the point of the exam I think you will have the logical tools you need to do well. Memorising concepts doesn't HURT, but I think it's a bit incidental; a student who does that and then does well probably actually did well for other reasons. "Being able to quote them in the right way" doesn't sound like Philosophy at all to me, it is not a regurgitate-y subject. It's about how you USE them. History NEEDs facts but I don't think it's fact-based, it's analysis-based. Facts are the foundational layer to be sure but they're not much good on their own. But I agree the level of writing and analysis means Philos may well not be right for OP's son.

@SoCloseToNothing1981 - it’s really tough when your child wants something they can’t have. But it happens to all of us in some way and you do need to start being realistic. If your DS struggles to remember dates and facts, then he can’t do history A level. It will just be a complete waste of time.

Your DS’s son warned against him taking history. Your son doesn’t take notes in class because he’s decided the teacher is no good (which is pretty arrogant but also how is he going to revise if he has no notes?). You’re now on your third tutor - who you think has attitude (FWIW, i think he sounds spot on) - because two tutors “let you down”.

The issue is clearly not the 4 education professionals who have tried to support your son. The issue is your son. You’re not helping your son by making excuses for him, by excusing his attitude or by saying this about learning revision technique.

You’re obviously a loving mum but you need to start being firm with your son and insisting he start working properly. And let the professional tutors do their job.

You’re wanting your son to do revision on things he doesn’t understand. He thought he’d been studying the Cold War, when he hadn’t, so he really has little understanding of the subject. The tutor is right to do a baseline test with him, to assess what your son already knows. Imagine if he hadn’t done the test and took your son’s word that he’d done the Cold War in class. I think it’s fair to say that if he is struggling with it at GCSE, then he’s going to struggle with it at A level. It also sounds like you’re wasting money on a tutor if he isn’t going to get up in time for the full hour that you’re paying for. Throwing money at a tutor doesn’t buy grades, and your son isn’t pulling his weight with the course. If he doesn’t get the gcse grade needed to take the a level subject, then the decision will be taken out of his hands.

I would imagine that OP is now notorious amongst history tutors in her area and she will probably find it hard to get a replacement tutor, unless it's one that's just in it for the money and who will just follow her instructions and let him fail catastrophically.

I'm unsure how he has been predicted a grade 5 when he hasn't taken any notes in lessons and has no idea how to revise.

I'm veering between agreeing with posters that this thread can't be genuine or, based on her update about the half term in South Africa, thinking that they are a rich but pretty unintellectual family who thinks that it's always someone else's fault if her son isn't achieving the grades that he needs and that throwing money at the problem will magically fix it.

The tutor ran through the questions with DS, and that was when DS realised he hadn't actually done the Cold War and he'd gotten the name confused with something else.😂
I'm glad I'm not his tutor.

Please listen to the tutor this time. If he didn't care about your DS' ability to pass the exam, he'd just take your money and do the minimum to tutor him.

The fact is, you cannot pass History with huge gaps in your knowledge and an inability to retain dates and crucial details. Your DS appears to struggle with both. Our DD struggled too – and she failed her History GCSE this summer. We wish we'd steered her towards a subject that wasn't so reliant on memory.

Iam suprised he still wants to invest in you and your son after both your bad attitudes, poor man.
He clearly doesn't think you child is clever enough to do A level history and is trying to be polite!

Way too far. He's a kid. Sort yourself out.

A level history is really hard. Honestly a family member did it for a level another family member was a senior history teacher on hand to help yet still failed. It could be a waste of his time and quite demoralising for him

x-posted with your update. Good luck with the call. Hope you can build from this into a more positive arrangement which is realistic and helpful for your DS.

I’m surprised the tutor hasn’t sacked you tbh (although sending him the mind map resources and suggesting he incorporates these into his sessions could be the final straw…)
Of course he’ll do a baseline assessment first- otherwise how does he know what areas your son needs support with?
Of course he will need to cover some subject matter first- otherwise what is there to revise?
He's not telling you how to parent, he’s providing you with his professional opinion as an expert in the field of education (the second person to have told you this), so it’s up to you whether you take this on board, however I do feel you’re complicit in setting your son up to fail by pushing this subject when he clearly struggles to grasp the very basics.
If your friend is an expert in revision techniques why don’t you pay her instead?