To stop being polite about this

Don't be rude; take the lead from your partner..

Just smile and say that you love to speak the local language because you love practising and need to learn to speak better in Italian. (or whatever language.)
Be generous and let them practise English on you some times.

It means to be treated like an alien due to a perceived difference. I'd like to be able to go to the shops without being told that I'm 'not one of us'

It’s really not that deep. No need to join the army if the perpetually offended ffs. I imagine everyone is very eager to put their English skills into practice and thinks ‘what a great opportunity’. Not that they are ‘othering you.’

I went to a friends home country for several weeks, stayed with their family for half of it, otherwise we travelled around. Before leaving I learnt basic phrases ‘to be polite’. Not needed. No one spoke to me in anything other than English the whole time. Not because they were being polite to me, but because they really wanted to put their learning of English into actual practice. It was a bonus for them. That included my friends family who spoke English the entire time we stayed with them (and even had neighbours and friends over to put their English skills to the test n a ‘real live situation’).

You are really overthinking this. Maybe just speak the native language at home with your partner and child, and apart from that, be gracious you are giving others a chance to put their conversational English skills into practice.

I get this completely. I was learning Spanish as my brother lived there and it frustrated me that nobody would let me practice when I was over there as their English was so good they slipped in to it naturally. Interesting though that this may have happened even if my language skills were better, just based on my accent and appearance!

it’s not a phenomenon we see much here in England as very few English persons speak a foreign language to that degree of fluency compared to when traveling abroad but I would be intrigued to know how people of other origins would feel if we spoke to them in their native language instead of English? Would that be perceived as welcoming or racism? I can see arguments for both sides of the coin.

You should learn French instead and move there. They wouldn’t do this, they generally do anything possible to avoid speaking English.

They just want to practice their English. It’s not personal, you need to let it go. It’s really not worth the headspace.

What does othered mean?

I’ve travelled a lot in France and Spain. At one time, if you spoke in their language they were pleased and would talk to you in the same language. These days almost everyone wants to practice their English. I honestly think that’s all it is and you’re wrong to get offended.

Hi you are taking it personally. My children both speak first language Welsh. I try and speak in Welsh but they always answer in English.Just keep trying.

It happens all over.

I got the same on holiday in Montenegro. I obviously have an accent and few anglophones speak Montenegrin, so waiters in particular kept speaking Russian to me... When I said in Russian "I'm from Great Britain..." they immediately switched to English.

I had this too, I wanted to practise my language skills and they wanted to practise theirs! So I replied in their language. Best of both worlds

I think if you’re speaking well in the local language others should respond in their native language. I’d just keep replying in their language regardless and perhaps be nice and tell them how good their English is.

My parents are from abroad and they still have a heavy accent and get asked all the time where they are from. They don’t mind as they are born there. I’m not born there and have no particular accent and I get asked where I am from because of my looks. Can’t win - people never seem to mind their own business!

How dare they try to be polite and kind to you when they reasonably assume you are not native to the place. Utter bastards.

I work in a truely global remote team, I am the only native english speaker. Team all live in their home countries. Its a big team, over 100 people.
Everyone speaks perfect english, all our work is in english, noone speaks to each other in any other language even groups of people from the same country.
English is the language of business. Most people from other countries either speak fluent english or want to speak it fluently as it is valuable in business. Therefore, if they get a chance to speak to a real english speaking person in english, they will want to do that to learn more words and practice. My team mates speak fluent english but there are always the odd obscure words they check with me and are excited to learn.
I imagine it is the same.

A lady who posts on TikTok is British, speaks fluent Spanish but her videos are people constantly replying to her in English. She's had some success by saying, in Spanish, 'I'm sorry I don't speak English,' and then telling them she speaks Polish. It will work until you bump into someone who speaks Polish at least!

Just say ‘No English’ in a vaguely germanic accent.

It was my go to line when being chatted up by randoms in the dark. Not in a germanic accent though.

OK I really don't get this (not English). Are there many foreigners in Birmingham so you consider it a non-English city?

Weird. I have noticed that noone speaks English in France unless you go to tourist hotspots.