Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To stop being polite about this

230 replies

Elconejorojo · 08/11/2025 20:22

I'm a Brit living abroad, been there many years and speak the local language fluently though with an accent. Am tall and blond, most people here are smaller and darker than me.

I'm absolutely fed up with shop assistants etc trying to speak English to me after I ask them a question perfectly in the local language. There is clearly no need to switch language- i appreciate they are excited to show off their English or want to offer good customer service or whatever, but increasingly it just feels like I'm being reminded that I'm foreign and need to get back in my box.

WIBU for telling them that their unnecessary attempts to speak English make me feel like an outsider? A few times, I've asked people if they are speaking to me in English because I look foreign, and that shuts them up, but my partner (a local) says that's rude.

OP posts:
AsMyWhimsy · 08/11/2025 20:36

I’m not sure what your issue is. You’re obviously foreign. You speak with a foreign accent, you look foreign. People treat you as if you’re foreign, and imagine they’re doing you a favour. They aren’t, but they aren’t to know that.

puppyparent · 08/11/2025 20:34

It doesn’t sound like the locals are trying to put you “back in your box” I think you might be taking it too personally. Just carry on speaking the local language if that is your preference

Calendulaaria · 08/11/2025 20:28

You could just ask them if it's ok to converse in the native language rather than getting offended?

Poetnojo · 08/11/2025 20:25

EmpressaurusKitty · 08/11/2025 20:23

Maybe let them speak English to you but keep replying in the local language?

I would agree with this

EmpressaurusKitty · 08/11/2025 20:23

Maybe let them speak English to you but keep replying in the local language?

Swipe left for the next trending thread