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DH is using community pantry for free food

840 replies

cookingaroast · 08/11/2025 20:12

There is a community pantry in our village, with the purpose being to cut food waste. I completely support cutting down on food waste, and the food provided is all from supermarkets who would otherwise throw the food out. My issue is more I'm a bit uncomfortable with us taking the food.
We are both in the tech industry and both fall into the higher tax bracket for our salaries, more than capable of paying for food ourselves.

I've said to DH I don't think we should be utilising this resource and leave the food for others who need it more than us but he loves the bargains (free food) he gets from it. He genuinely wants to show off the stuff he's picked up whenever he goes - which is usually once a week.

I guess I feel a bit uncomfortable that this free food could be a lifeline to people. I do like charity shopping and getting a bargain but I don't feel as bad, as I'm paying what they decide they feel it's worth and the money is going to charity. This is completely free and run by volunteers.

OP posts:
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8
nomas · 09/11/2025 22:35

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 09/11/2025 22:03

It is a Trussell.

Although my only experience is of that one food bank. So unlike the hubs and network of which I have extensive and high level knowledge, I can't make any comments on food banks other than knowing the one in our area is barely fit for purpose. Maybe others are far better.

To say I hear horror stories would be over dramatic, but I continually hear how undignified people feel and they have to be pretty rock bottom and desperate for food to undergo how humiliating the process is there. I've not been as a client, but have driven past and seen the queue which is visible from the heavily trafficked road. That's the first thing I'd change. Just queue at the back of the building instead of about 30 cars a minute. That's a lot of people who are local to you likely to drive past. There's no privacy and it's a private and personal matter in my opinion.

I don’t donate to Trussell, I lose trust when orgs get too big. Luckily we have somewhere very local to donate to, I can see their work every time I drive past.

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 09/11/2025 22:32

Goldwren1923 · 09/11/2025 22:30

i think it’s your imagination or wishful thinking

Ah, so if you can't understand something very clearly written down, or it doesn't suit your narrative, you tell people they must be imagining it.

Helpful to know.

Goldwren1923 · 09/11/2025 22:30

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 09/11/2025 20:18

Did you struggle with the part about other hubs stating this is across the board?

Bit "dense" eh?

i think it’s your imagination or wishful thinking

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 09/11/2025 22:22

BringBackCatsEyes · 09/11/2025 22:17

Are you sure it's Trussell Trust? It doesn't sound like it's being run properly and you should inform someone.

I have genuinely considered this. But Trussell are giants. And everyone donates to them because they are the food bank. I don't think it would make the slightest difference if I said something, probably just give them something to be cross about and make it known locally.

Americasfavouritefightingfrenchman · 09/11/2025 22:21

Negroany · 09/11/2025 22:12

If they are a registered charity though, it could get them into hot water. You have to be clear about your aims, which are usually in the charity objects and articles, and you have to ensure that everyone is working to, and not outside of, those aims.

Yes I’d asked that to the poster insisting they say food waste reduction but mean food poverty really. I also thought you had to be super careful, particularly with restricted funds. I think OH has helped our local one with finding applications before and honestly reading this makes me question if it’s such a great idea for him to do in future as he’s an accountant and misrepresenting something he completes on their behalf would likely not be good from a professional ethics standpoint either. It’s not my area of expertise by any stretch as I do management accounting but I have a vague recollection from long ago exams. It’s very much his area as he does books professionally for and audits a lot of mid sized charities.

BringBackCatsEyes · 09/11/2025 22:17

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 09/11/2025 22:03

It is a Trussell.

Although my only experience is of that one food bank. So unlike the hubs and network of which I have extensive and high level knowledge, I can't make any comments on food banks other than knowing the one in our area is barely fit for purpose. Maybe others are far better.

To say I hear horror stories would be over dramatic, but I continually hear how undignified people feel and they have to be pretty rock bottom and desperate for food to undergo how humiliating the process is there. I've not been as a client, but have driven past and seen the queue which is visible from the heavily trafficked road. That's the first thing I'd change. Just queue at the back of the building instead of about 30 cars a minute. That's a lot of people who are local to you likely to drive past. There's no privacy and it's a private and personal matter in my opinion.

Are you sure it's Trussell Trust? It doesn't sound like it's being run properly and you should inform someone.

Americasfavouritefightingfrenchman · 09/11/2025 22:16

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 09/11/2025 22:08

You are determined to take this aggressive black and white narrative, regardless of what's actually written. Only you know why, because the other posters aren't struggling to interpret what we are saying to each other.

I have no idea what you think is so clear to everyone but me. It is a pretty straightforward question to answer of do you actually know all hubs operate like yours or do you just mean the one you work at does? I don’t think our local one operates like the one you volunteer at or intends to but then I’ve already seen you insist someone else who has said the same they are wrong. I’d actually like to know as if you are right then I’ll be honest I don’t think I my OH would want any involvement in it anymore. He’d be embarrassed and annoyed to have been actively encouraged to get people to use a service to reduce food waste when they actually were not really welcome. If it’s true people volunteering at your charity don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes and are giving out the wrong message because they didn’t realise you were saying one thing and meaning something completely different that really is a pretty shitty way to treat people giving up their time to try and help.

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 09/11/2025 22:16

BringBackCatsEyes · 09/11/2025 21:55

Most of the hubs people are describing would not allow a client to prepare a number of full family meals 1) because they rarely have that sort of selection and 2) they limit was individuals can take.

What you run sound laudable, but it's really not the food hub/pantries that most people are thinking about, and certainly not what OP's husband is visiting.

Yes, I think the teeny hubs that are more like home growers just dropping off three little bags of excess tomatoes from their greenhouse are a different ball game. Free honesty boxes, essentially. These typically aren't where you'll find the essential need users the bigger hubs are critically supporting.

The proper full scale hubs, you can indeed make a meal. Sometimes a bit of a odd meal, but a meal. Sometimes a magnificent one. We always have veg and potatoes. And we have the ambient stuff too. Limited protein. Usually soups and bread.

From what OP wrote, I would think she means her husband is taking items from a larger scale operation. He is unlikely to be crowing about his bargains if it's a carrier bag of runner beans from Jim 3 doors down. Could be wrong.

Negroany · 09/11/2025 22:12

Americasfavouritefightingfrenchman · 09/11/2025 21:18

I mean there is nothing wrong with having two aims but to go to the extent that you don’t even tell your volunteers what your real aims are seems almost unbelievable. I guess there is no real way of knowing though if someone posting online is genuine or just saying what suits them to give support to their own argument. Obviously that applies to me and anyone else who mentions they or a friend or a relative volunteers too 🤷🏼‍♀️

If they are a registered charity though, it could get them into hot water. You have to be clear about your aims, which are usually in the charity objects and articles, and you have to ensure that everyone is working to, and not outside of, those aims.

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 09/11/2025 22:08

Americasfavouritefightingfrenchman · 09/11/2025 22:04

I have read what you wrote.

You have explained your specific hub is primarily about reducing food poverty not food waste. When someone else who works for a different branch of the same charity has said theirs is about waste you’ve said they have misunderstood as they don’t see what goes on behind the scenes. When other people have suggested your hub might be a different thing you’ve refuted it (unless their hub is a small stand in a hall). You’ve flat out stated you publish it’s about food waste but you don’t really mean it. If I believe everything you have written is correct then we’ve been doing a load to help a local food pantry (particularly my OH) and encouraging our friends to pick stuff up there and help reduce food waste but by doing so we are operating against their real aims. In my shoes might you also be a bit more inclined to think you are misrepresenting things on an anonymous forum than to think the people we know at the pantry have lied to our faces repeatedly about how it works? Honestly if you just said they are all different and mine works like this I’d think nothing of it but you’ve been super insistent they all work like yours and then the stuff about you have to say x to get a grant just sounds dodgy as anything as if that’s true then aren’t you getting restricted donations in and using them for something else and if so isn’t that against charity commission rules?

You are determined to take this aggressive black and white narrative, regardless of what's actually written. Only you know why, because the other posters aren't struggling to interpret what we are saying to each other.

Americasfavouritefightingfrenchman · 09/11/2025 22:04

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 09/11/2025 21:48

If that's all you are determined to hear, despite what's written down, there's very little I can do about that.

I have read what you wrote.

You have explained your specific hub is primarily about reducing food poverty not food waste. When someone else who works for a different branch of the same charity has said theirs is about waste you’ve said they have misunderstood as they don’t see what goes on behind the scenes. When other people have suggested your hub might be a different thing you’ve refuted it (unless their hub is a small stand in a hall). You’ve flat out stated you publish it’s about food waste but you don’t really mean it. If I believe everything you have written is correct then we’ve been doing a load to help a local food pantry (particularly my OH) and encouraging our friends to pick stuff up there and help reduce food waste but by doing so we are operating against their real aims. In my shoes might you also be a bit more inclined to think you are misrepresenting things on an anonymous forum than to think the people we know at the pantry have lied to our faces repeatedly about how it works? Honestly if you just said they are all different and mine works like this I’d think nothing of it but you’ve been super insistent they all work like yours and then the stuff about you have to say x to get a grant just sounds dodgy as anything as if that’s true then aren’t you getting restricted donations in and using them for something else and if so isn’t that against charity commission rules?

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 09/11/2025 22:03

BringBackCatsEyes · 09/11/2025 21:53

No, I meant the food bank in your local area. From what you describe (queueing, no pre-packed boxes, conveyor belt) I can understand why those in need do not use it.
Trussell Trust food banks are not like that at all.

It is a Trussell.

Although my only experience is of that one food bank. So unlike the hubs and network of which I have extensive and high level knowledge, I can't make any comments on food banks other than knowing the one in our area is barely fit for purpose. Maybe others are far better.

To say I hear horror stories would be over dramatic, but I continually hear how undignified people feel and they have to be pretty rock bottom and desperate for food to undergo how humiliating the process is there. I've not been as a client, but have driven past and seen the queue which is visible from the heavily trafficked road. That's the first thing I'd change. Just queue at the back of the building instead of about 30 cars a minute. That's a lot of people who are local to you likely to drive past. There's no privacy and it's a private and personal matter in my opinion.

BringBackCatsEyes · 09/11/2025 21:55

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 09/11/2025 21:45

Sigh. We're not a food bank. Nor chaotic.

It's a very suitable solution. I'm not sure which part you think isn't. Someone who wouldn't access a food bank through embarrassment of either obtaining the referral or through being seen, can access food here.

You can take enough for several meals for one family in one go. Probably two visits a week would be sustainable, but we don't have enough to support that level of visits.

Most of the hubs people are describing would not allow a client to prepare a number of full family meals 1) because they rarely have that sort of selection and 2) they limit was individuals can take.

What you run sound laudable, but it's really not the food hub/pantries that most people are thinking about, and certainly not what OP's husband is visiting.

BringBackCatsEyes · 09/11/2025 21:53

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 09/11/2025 21:45

Sigh. We're not a food bank. Nor chaotic.

It's a very suitable solution. I'm not sure which part you think isn't. Someone who wouldn't access a food bank through embarrassment of either obtaining the referral or through being seen, can access food here.

You can take enough for several meals for one family in one go. Probably two visits a week would be sustainable, but we don't have enough to support that level of visits.

No, I meant the food bank in your local area. From what you describe (queueing, no pre-packed boxes, conveyor belt) I can understand why those in need do not use it.
Trussell Trust food banks are not like that at all.

Dawnb19 · 09/11/2025 21:50

For me it would depend on what he takes. If it things like extra fruit and vegetables that would spoil then I think that ok (as long as he donates as well) but if it's things that are more for the needy such as tinned food, cereal and pasta ect) then that's not ok.

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 09/11/2025 21:48

Americasfavouritefightingfrenchman · 09/11/2025 21:47

Our community pantry is at the “big local” which offers loads of community classes and initiatives. It’s open 5 days a week and gets loads of food from the coop, M&S and Sainsbury’s. We’ve donated lots to it over the years including money and furniture and I think it’s a great community resource. You seem to be saying with your posts though that I must be deluded because that’s not how these things are really supposed to work and I should know that. I’m sorry but if it’s true that all food hubs/community pantries operate as yours does then I find it utterly bizarre they aren’t even honest to their volunteers about their purpose. Or are they honest and it’s just that your particular hub operates in one way and others operate in a different one. It absolutely does not fit my narrative that a charity lies to donors, volunteers & the general public about its purpose. I think a lot of people would find that bizarre.

If that's all you are determined to hear, despite what's written down, there's very little I can do about that.

Jack80 · 09/11/2025 21:48

It sounds like it's a community scheme that you pay for to combat food waste not a food bank.

Americasfavouritefightingfrenchman · 09/11/2025 21:47

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 09/11/2025 21:34

You only have to spend a day in an active food hub to observe exactly what the users are there for.

Not a place that hands out a bag of carrots and apples once a week for an hour. Because yes, that is about tiny distribution of tiny surplus, where, for example, someone's apple tree was very productive that month. It's not feeding families.

The dinky one in a church archway is very much like this. And no one operates that. It's kind of like an honesty box, but for free. The local school donate their after harvest festivals, but other than that, it's just the odd bits of veg from someone's garden. Maybe 5-10 people visit a week, if that.

Excusing the pun, but comparing this to a food hub that actually feeds people meals/full ingredients is somewhat apples to pears.

Sad that you have to claim "made up, unbelievable" to anything that doesn't agree with your narrative.

Our community pantry is at the “big local” which offers loads of community classes and initiatives. It’s open 5 days a week and gets loads of food from the coop, M&S and Sainsbury’s. We’ve donated lots to it over the years including money and furniture and I think it’s a great community resource. You seem to be saying with your posts though that I must be deluded because that’s not how these things are really supposed to work and I should know that. I’m sorry but if it’s true that all food hubs/community pantries operate as yours does then I find it utterly bizarre they aren’t even honest to their volunteers about their purpose. Or are they honest and it’s just that your particular hub operates in one way and others operate in a different one. It absolutely does not fit my narrative that a charity lies to donors, volunteers & the general public about its purpose. I think a lot of people would find that bizarre.

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 09/11/2025 21:45

BringBackCatsEyes · 09/11/2025 21:32

but while you're here, may as well take some food...
That doesn't sound like a suitable solution for people eligible to use a food bank.
Do clients need to visit most days or a number of your hubs in order to get enough for a family for a few days?

Your food bank sounds chaotic - def not Trussell Trust

Sigh. We're not a food bank. Nor chaotic.

It's a very suitable solution. I'm not sure which part you think isn't. Someone who wouldn't access a food bank through embarrassment of either obtaining the referral or through being seen, can access food here.

You can take enough for several meals for one family in one go. Probably two visits a week would be sustainable, but we don't have enough to support that level of visits.

mamagogo1 · 09/11/2025 21:44

At ours there’s a collection box for the food bank so those on higher incomes can reduce food waste but not feel awkward

Icecreamisthebest · 09/11/2025 21:42

I'd say it really depends on your local area. In some communities what he is doing might be fine, in others not so much. The only way to know for sure is for him to volunteer there to really get a feel for whether what he is doing is appropriate. As others have said, he can still take things if he does this, if there is anything available once people in need have visited.

And there are probably seasonal variations and variations based on what grows well in your area. Where I live, it would be fine for anyone to take zucchini because they grow really well and everyone is always trying to give them away. Again, by volunteering he will get a better understanding of this.

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 09/11/2025 21:34

Americasfavouritefightingfrenchman · 09/11/2025 21:18

I mean there is nothing wrong with having two aims but to go to the extent that you don’t even tell your volunteers what your real aims are seems almost unbelievable. I guess there is no real way of knowing though if someone posting online is genuine or just saying what suits them to give support to their own argument. Obviously that applies to me and anyone else who mentions they or a friend or a relative volunteers too 🤷🏼‍♀️

You only have to spend a day in an active food hub to observe exactly what the users are there for.

Not a place that hands out a bag of carrots and apples once a week for an hour. Because yes, that is about tiny distribution of tiny surplus, where, for example, someone's apple tree was very productive that month. It's not feeding families.

The dinky one in a church archway is very much like this. And no one operates that. It's kind of like an honesty box, but for free. The local school donate their after harvest festivals, but other than that, it's just the odd bits of veg from someone's garden. Maybe 5-10 people visit a week, if that.

Excusing the pun, but comparing this to a food hub that actually feeds people meals/full ingredients is somewhat apples to pears.

Sad that you have to claim "made up, unbelievable" to anything that doesn't agree with your narrative.

BringBackCatsEyes · 09/11/2025 21:32

but while you're here, may as well take some food...
That doesn't sound like a suitable solution for people eligible to use a food bank.
Do clients need to visit most days or a number of your hubs in order to get enough for a family for a few days?

Your food bank sounds chaotic - def not Trussell Trust

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 09/11/2025 21:21

BringBackCatsEyes · 09/11/2025 21:00

This doesn't sound like what most people here are talking about.
Most are not actively fundraising/registered charities - they are run entirely by volunteers. They only offer food, not classes etc and they do supervise what individuals take.

Our one is only open for a couple of hours a day (different time every day...they post on FB), and very likely is inaccessible for those most in need, but that's just how it is at the moment. I've said upthread that they are considering registering as a charity - maybe it will then open at more regular times and reach more people who would benefit most.

Are you working with your food bank to make it more accessible to the 95% of your clients? Why does going to your hub not have the same stigma as going to the food bank?

The 27 that I liaise with locally range from almost non existent little set ups in church archways, to small sheds and cabins, right up to us, and bigger. Other than the three that are more just like unattended stands and tables in churches and village halls, they all offer classes or some kind of activity. Again, not that you'd necessarily know, because often, no one attends.

Our food bank is a bit of a joke, they aren't interested in working with anyone, lest they lose any of the enormous amounts they are donated to the other cause. It's frustrating to say the least.

Going to a hub is entirely of your own discretion and choosing. You don't have the embarrassment of having to, for example, phone your local councillor and say you can't afford to eat, please can you have a referral. If you're at the food bank, and someone sees you, you know why. One of our users said how she was given a voucher to take to the food bank then stood queuing outside for anyone to see. Then it was "right, three items off that shelf, two off there and one of those bags...next!" like she was on a conveyor belt. Like you, it's only open a few hours a week, so it's concentrated activity. If you're at our hub, you might be there because you've come to see the CAB. Or because you care deeply about reducing food miles. It's discrete. We're open nearly all day, every day, so the chances of you bumping into someone you know is far less. And if you feel embarrassed about needing support, you can sign up for whatever activity is running at the time as your reason to be there. Turn up to discover how to grow tomatoes, but while you're here, may as well take some food...

Sadworld23 · 09/11/2025 21:21

businessflop25 · 08/11/2025 20:21

We have one round here and it is for everyone to use. I have often had things from there. Lots of people put fresh extra veg from the allotments. It’s great. I do however make a point of making sure I give at least as much as I take.
So why not suggest that he buys (or makes if they take baked goods etc) somethings to donate. So that he is giving back. Or volunteer some of his time to help out?

This, absolutely. Then he can be a real hero, not just a good waste hero..