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AIBU?

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DH is using community pantry for free food

840 replies

cookingaroast · 08/11/2025 20:12

There is a community pantry in our village, with the purpose being to cut food waste. I completely support cutting down on food waste, and the food provided is all from supermarkets who would otherwise throw the food out. My issue is more I'm a bit uncomfortable with us taking the food.
We are both in the tech industry and both fall into the higher tax bracket for our salaries, more than capable of paying for food ourselves.

I've said to DH I don't think we should be utilising this resource and leave the food for others who need it more than us but he loves the bargains (free food) he gets from it. He genuinely wants to show off the stuff he's picked up whenever he goes - which is usually once a week.

I guess I feel a bit uncomfortable that this free food could be a lifeline to people. I do like charity shopping and getting a bargain but I don't feel as bad, as I'm paying what they decide they feel it's worth and the money is going to charity. This is completely free and run by volunteers.

OP posts:
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Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 09/11/2025 13:33

LivingDeadGirlUK · 09/11/2025 12:30

I don't think he's technically wrong to use it as its not a food bank as such, but I would be really embarrassed if he was showing off his 'bargains'

Me too
Its just not manly.

IfItsPink · 09/11/2025 13:29

Catpiece · 09/11/2025 11:15

Despicable. No wonder society is falling apart when those who can afford not to decide to take from those in need. Absolute disgrace

🙄

Needmorelego · 09/11/2025 13:10

Catpiece · 09/11/2025 11:15

Despicable. No wonder society is falling apart when those who can afford not to decide to take from those in need. Absolute disgrace

😂
At least read the thread.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 09/11/2025 13:07

I like the idea of him going towards the end of the session so other who really need it get there first. But it a good he using though. Less stigma will attract to it.

YouveGotNoBloodyIdea · 09/11/2025 12:51

YABU - we have a very successful community pantry and a food bank. The pantry are constantly sending out msgs on fb asking for people to come and help them get rid of things like bread, fruit and veg about to be dumped - totally unrelated to the food bank which is more organised, carefully controlled and well monitored.

godmum56 · 09/11/2025 12:45

MeridaBrave · 09/11/2025 12:43

Well it’s to avoid waste so I suggest he goes, takes perishable items and makes a donation towards the running costs roughly equiv to the value of the food. I have a friend who runs one. She has no issue getting dried food close to sell by dates to those who need but sometimes ends up with fresh produce that will just rot.

the one near us only takes perishables.

MeridaBrave · 09/11/2025 12:43

Well it’s to avoid waste so I suggest he goes, takes perishable items and makes a donation towards the running costs roughly equiv to the value of the food. I have a friend who runs one. She has no issue getting dried food close to sell by dates to those who need but sometimes ends up with fresh produce that will just rot.

Fiftyandme · 09/11/2025 12:32

ComfortFoodCafe · 08/11/2025 20:17

He should be ashamed of himself. Thats disgraceful. Hope they find out & ban him.

On what grounds would an open to all a community party for tackling food waste ban someone?

LivingDeadGirlUK · 09/11/2025 12:30

I don't think he's technically wrong to use it as its not a food bank as such, but I would be really embarrassed if he was showing off his 'bargains'

Fiftyandme · 09/11/2025 12:29

It’s a community pantry - open to all. It’s is not a food bank

Equally, food waste apps such as Olio are open to everyone - again, it’s not a food bank.

Yello sticker offers in the supermarket - open to everyone.

godmum56 · 09/11/2025 12:27

Whatwerewetalkingabout · 09/11/2025 12:15

I don't think its on if your husband is taking non perishables or things that should definitely get picked up by needy families or struggling pensioners like meat and cheese And would make a difference to them. Quite frankly it's like dipping your hand in a charity box when you're both well off, and your husband should be ashamed if he's doing that.

However if a shop has dumped dozens of packs of unsold bread thats on its date or bagged salad that wouldn't last long and would need to be binned by the end of the day I think thats okay to take to reduce waste.

Whats he coming home with OP?

but the meat, yoghurt and so on will go off too!

Whatwerewetalkingabout · 09/11/2025 12:15

I don't think its on if your husband is taking non perishables or things that should definitely get picked up by needy families or struggling pensioners like meat and cheese And would make a difference to them. Quite frankly it's like dipping your hand in a charity box when you're both well off, and your husband should be ashamed if he's doing that.

However if a shop has dumped dozens of packs of unsold bread thats on its date or bagged salad that wouldn't last long and would need to be binned by the end of the day I think thats okay to take to reduce waste.

Whats he coming home with OP?

Lovemycat2023 · 09/11/2025 11:56

They are a great idea to cut food waste, so if that’s the aim it’s fine and then put a donation (cash / DD) to Trussel Trust.

IsItSnowing · 09/11/2025 11:49

I think if it's for everyone to avoid waste and they are not running out each week so that needy people miss out, then he's not doing anything wrong. Often there is quite a short window for these kind of items to be distributed so they would get thrown away if not used. It's not the same as a food bank where they try to get in lots of non perishible foods.

Tontostitis · 09/11/2025 11:43

I have a large garden grow lots of veg and lots of fruit but I live in a town. I have a table at the front of my drive with a label on it that says please help yourself swaps welcome but not necessary. Your husband is correctly using excess. I've put out massive bowls of greengages and figs this year with paper bags and only once has someone taken the whole lot rather than just a bag full. I would confirm to your husband that he is only taking things you might need and not taking everything. I post on my local Facebook what I've put out with the hashtag #freetheveg. And tell people that I'd like to fight back against the big supermarkets and they're outrageous pricing and the waste that we have I'd be gutted if people who help themselves to the stuff I put out got abused as if they were stealing from a food bank this and what your husband is using is a totally different thing it's an eco drive. Not everything has to be about helping the needy some of it can be about using the world's resources wisely instead of carelessly. In four years of doing this only once has anyone left me anything mind you 😂. Ask your husband if he is Willing to start taking some of the excess odd things that you might not use or have overbought.

GrimDamnFanjo · 09/11/2025 11:32

A food waste place is absolutely not a food bank. We have similar here, you pay a membership fee and it isn’t a free for all. A food bank normally is referral only.

Abracadabra12 · 09/11/2025 11:31

MumoftwoNC · 08/11/2025 20:54

I have no idea how they get it in but from my pov it can sit on the shelf there until someone needs it, and that person isn't me. I've known times in the past when I've had single digits of £ left in my account before payday and had to eat a random meal like baked beans on pasta. I'm not in that situation any more, not rolling in it but comfortable, and so I'll leave that community washing powder/tin of beans etc for someone else.

But isn’t the point of community pantries that they have food that’s going to spoil soon or won’t keep? So it won’t sit on the shelf until someone who needs it comes along, it will be thrown away

SheinIsShite · 09/11/2025 11:26

Catpiece · 09/11/2025 11:15

Despicable. No wonder society is falling apart when those who can afford not to decide to take from those in need. Absolute disgrace

Reading comprehension is a totally dying art. On the other hand, reading just a wee bit and leaping to a half-arsed conclusion is alive and kicking.

BringBackCatsEyes · 09/11/2025 11:24

Catpiece · 09/11/2025 11:15

Despicable. No wonder society is falling apart when those who can afford not to decide to take from those in need. Absolute disgrace

I think people not looking around them (e.g. reading the thread) and general ignorance contributes more to damaging our society.

Catpiece · 09/11/2025 11:15

Despicable. No wonder society is falling apart when those who can afford not to decide to take from those in need. Absolute disgrace

SheinIsShite · 09/11/2025 11:09

I think this proves that there are lots of people who are very odd about second hand, reduced to clear and free food from zero-waste pantries.

AlltheHedgehogsontheWall · 09/11/2025 10:51

There used to be one near where I used to live and it opened twice a week. I could never be bothered queuing but it was all types of people from those who were struggling to those who were well off. It's no different to shopping in a charity shop or buying a "Too Good to Go" bag; buying something which would otherwise be thrown away. Sometimes they had so much excess that the volunteers would walk down the street with trays of food asking people to take stuff. They gave me several tubs of expired yoghurt once and it tasted fine.

Autumn38 · 09/11/2025 10:33

MumoftwoNC · 08/11/2025 20:20

Yanbu op.

People who say it's to cut food waste have missed the point. That's just the message so that people who need it don't feel embarrassed. High earners should not be using this sort of community pantry - he should be donating items if anything, rather than accepting donations

I’ve run community pantries. You are wrong. They are to cut food waste, and they are for everyone. The point is they aren’t the same as food banks - that’s why they have a different name and a different aim.

ReginaChase · 09/11/2025 09:31

Reading the OP it's clear that he takes a pleasure in this and shows off what he has managed to get hold of. I work with clients that use community pantries and food banks. The amount that the community pantries have to give varies massively and I wouldn't have a problem with him taking a reasonable share if they had plenty to give but if the amount is limited on the day he goes he should be asking himself if he really needs it or if he just wants it because it's free.

ThatCyanCat · 09/11/2025 09:14

How is it that supermarkets have so much food waste anyway? Obviously we don't want a repeat of the bare shelves of 2020, but if that much is being chucked daily, what's going on and how can it be avoided?

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