AIBU to stop sending my kids to help my pregnant SIL now that she’s said she can’t pay?

Really, I know a few very large families.

Especially from other cultures, they're born one after the other.

I know a young woman who was married at 16, not legally, she got married in her garden, she's 22, she has 5 dc, and she's pregnant had a baby every year.

Thinking about it I don’t know anyone with more than 4. Surely this is unusual. Why would anyone want more than 4? Don’t you want your own life?

Yep, I know someone with 12. Seriously.

I need the laughing emoji!

Stop it 😂😂

Back off everyone, can't be easy living in a shoe.

It's only an hour or two after school, presumably he is at work still.

They're just picking which household they'd rather do chores and childcare for one evening a week. I really think the poor teenagers can handle a thrilling decision like that.

Sounds like she didn't expect you to set the 'wages' like that! Why didn't you let SIL decide what to pay? Sounds mean to treat it like a business transaction. £25 per week may be far more than she planned to offer! She may have wanted some casual ad hoc help rather than you setting the hours and pay.

I would encourage your girls to keep helping out when they can. Kindness and generosity are far more important traits to nurture! You say your SIL once helped you for free, expecting nothing in return. She's probably hurt that you tried to charge her for your children's time.

Equally why is there no mention of SIL’s husband helping her?

And the dc may be happy to help out because they don’t know when too much is being asked if them.

If the older kids WANT to keep helping out thier aunt without payment it's pretty obvious they are being treated better there than at home.

If Op can't cope with her brood for a whole evening without all the older kids doing something then she needs to learn how to organise her household.
Why is there no mention of her DH doing his share in the evening

I don't normally search posters previous threads, but blimey.

It's no wonder she has so many children. She will never have attended a biology lesson.

OP … you are Fagin, I claim my £10

That doesn't surprise me!

This thread seemed a bit off to me

I was thinking the same thing. It’s probably a nice break from their home life as unpaid skivvies.

This is lady with some very bizarre postings.

she says she left school at 5 in the UK.

used to have a cleaner for 4 hours a day.

husband left school at 11.

Yes. I’m also completely baffled.

There is a lot of money to be made babysitting, maybe your older girls could advertise locally.
Start earning 5/10 per hour.
I don't want to kick you too, as I understand you're standing up for your children, but you've clearly more than you can afford.
I grew up in a large loving family, opportunities weren't there for us.
You need to find evening work in the meantime. The family can help look after the younger children.
I don't struggle to believe it as I know a few huge families who are financially insecure.
It's common in many families to muck in not just certain cultures.

I would send them round anyway if they dont mind .TBH charging family is a little harsh .She helped you so its time to return the favour surely?Can you make something that can be reheated later for the girls doing the babysitting?

Its more chaotic as the OP is down one pair of hands that she relies on.

No it doesn’t. If you read OP’s posts, the inference is clear. By her children earning some money, they’d feel less upset about not getting pocket money from OP as they haven’t been able to afford it recently. Makes sense.

I think YABU. Your sister has been told to take it easy for medical reasons. She helped you when you needed it. She's been upfront and said she can no longer afford to pay your kids for help. (Although I don't like the manipulating messages about her kids missing their cousins.) Your kids have said they want to keep helping for free. You're all family who get on with each other. Why wouldn't you allow your kids to help?

I'm also not sure why your house is more chaotic when 1 of 9 children is absent for a few hours in the evening? Whatever you're making for dinner, just set aside a portion for them and they can eat it when they get home. Or you could always ask your SIL if whichever of your children is helping could eat dinner with them that night.

Well you can stop helping her but then do not ever ask her for a favour in future. If I was in her position I’d remember this and never do anything for you again.

Same. It was okay when OP needed help.

I just read another of OPs threads (where she was also accused of being a troll) and if this is true, I'm making the assumption she's from an orthodox Jewish background. I recently came across an OJ women's forum and paying young girls (or BAME women) to help/babysit seems to be quite common, as the mothers have a lot of children and need cheap help. I could be completely wrong of course, but just because family size/way of life is strange to our own personal ideas, it doesn't necessarily mean that there are people who do not operate in such ways.

You pay your teenagers, it's your turn to pay back the favour.
I definitely helped siblings too much with their children, before I had my own children, the favour was returned either.