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AIBU?

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AIBU to be upset when Mum's have been banned from my child's team tour?

190 replies

Momoftwoscallywags · 08/11/2025 10:39

I have previously posted that my DS (13 years old) plays a team sport and that his team have had some new coaches this season.

Recently, the usual tour details were posted by one of the new coaches and it was stated that Mum's shouldn't be going on tour, as apparently this is traditional in this particular sport? And that if Dad's couldn't go, and you didn't want your child going alone, then an appropriate male guardian would be acceptable in their place.

Well, as you could image this has caused an up roar and did lead to a last minute change of heart by the coaches but I get the impression that the coaches didn't do this willingly and that they were told to do so by the club, but I am not 100% sure of this.

So now there are no Mum's on this tour and, shockingly, some of the kids haven’t been able to go on the tour because of their personal circumstances.
And, setting aside all the gender discrimination in this situation, it is this which I truly think is the most upsetting part of it all, as team sport should be for all kids and the coaches should be bending over backwards to make this happen for every kid, regardless of circumstances.

OP posts:
Satisfiedkitty · 08/11/2025 10:51

crackofdoom · 08/11/2025 10:48

Oh, I've reread the OP and actually lone kids are allowed. Leaving aside from the blatant discrimination, why would parents be accompanying a Year 8 aged trip unless there as parent volunteers??

Because the dads drink a lot (just watch them load up the coach!) and treat it like a boys weekend away. What happens on tour stays on tour etc.

At ds's club there was some talk of the mums booking a nearby spa.

Personally, I avoided the whole club because of the whole ethos, but it's the nature of the sport.

NorthFaceofthelaundrypile · 08/11/2025 10:51

I’m going to hazard a guess here, but I bet the coaches have no issue with the mum’s sorting out the post-match tea/lunches for the team and visiting teams?

SleepingStandingUp · 08/11/2025 10:51

So they're now letting Moms go but the moms are refusing as a protest? I don't understand why the Moms aren't now going.

Also do they really need one adult per child at 13??

RessicaJabbit · 08/11/2025 10:49

Not sure why parents are even going?

PollyBell · 08/11/2025 10:49

I dont see a problem, if it was girls if they tried to ban dads would that be ok?

crackofdoom · 08/11/2025 10:48

Oh, I've reread the OP and actually lone kids are allowed. Leaving aside from the blatant discrimination, why would parents be accompanying a Year 8 aged trip unless there as parent volunteers??

JadeSquid · 08/11/2025 10:46

ElizabethsTailor · 08/11/2025 10:46

Yes.

I don't think so. I think single sex environments are needed at times.

GretaGip · 08/11/2025 10:46

That's appalling.

Would you tell us the sport? See if we can get our head around the associated "tradition"?

ElizabethsTailor · 08/11/2025 10:46

JadeSquid · 08/11/2025 10:45

Would it be bonkers if they didnt want dads going away with a girls' netball team?

Yes.

ElizabethsTailor · 08/11/2025 10:46

Was this the same group of coaches that banned parents from the group chat? (Sorry might have been a different person - I didn’t do a search as I always find that a bit stalker-ish)

JadeSquid · 08/11/2025 10:45

Bearbookagainandagain · 08/11/2025 10:44

This is bonkers, I would make that public and withdraw my child from that environment.

Would it be bonkers if they didnt want dads going away with a girls' netball team?

Bearbookagainandagain · 08/11/2025 10:45

And I would also tell the coach to f*ck off.

Bearbookagainandagain · 08/11/2025 10:44

This is bonkers, I would make that public and withdraw my child from that environment.

JadeSquid · 08/11/2025 10:44

Sounds like they wanted to maintain a single sex environment.

crackofdoom · 08/11/2025 10:43

So dads are welcome but mums aren't?

And a bunch of secondary age kids can't go on a sports tour without a parent present?

I'm guessing this is not through school, but I'm struggling to work out how they can justify this.

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