AIBU to be upset when Mum's have been banned from my child's team tour?

Except you haven't.

You seem to think part of positive coaching is having a tour with only one sex allowed even as supporters.
You have also said that there shouldn't be any supporters at all hen you referred to your own kid just being with his coach.

The idea that there could even be a female coach hadn't entered your head because you were justifying the tour being single sex on good training grounds. It's misogyny

Crazy that there’s all this indignation at a male only single sex space, but a women’s only single sex space must be respected

Didnt say that at all. They wouldn't have a single sex tour. Please stop trying to reach so far. You'll pull a muscle.

Just asked my DH about this - played rugby at amateur level until 30’s, took DS to clubs when small, and is a cricket coach - mainly boys but there is one talented girl on his team. He is appalled. Excluding women creates a wall - it implies that ‘only men’ can play the specific sport, or support it, and it limits the ability of women to bond with their male children over it.

He recalls the utter joy at watching the Underwood twins playing rugby for England a few decades ago and the TV shots of their mum screaming and jumping up and down with joy in the crowd when they were playing. THAT’s what these sports teams should be fostering. Sport should unite the sexes, cross class and racial boundaries, foster respect for all people devoting time to it. This banning of mums on tour is, frankly, despicable. My DH says that if it happened at any of the clubs he is involved in, it would mean an immediate resignation on his part.

Yes. I'd be concerned about grooming and SA in both these situations. It's dodgy AF.

So you're saying a female coach would stop them having a tour.

Check out your misogyny

In men’s rugby it absolutely would be. If they were saying they wanted to create a women’s only space nobody would have an issue with it.

The attitude of this coach is toxic and encourages the stereotype rugby lad culture of drinking, cheating and not treating women as equals.

What?

My DD plays rugby. We go on tour a mix of mums and dads accompany. Sometimes a parent can’t come with and a parent volunteers to be their guardian. We have male and female coaches.

Thus isn’t a rugby thing.

I have answered that already.

No, I know that woman, and I know there will be others like her. I've just seen her in action. It is about the possibility of there being an adult who acts inappropriately with the children, especially outside of formal sporting time and where there may be drinking and the like.

Why are they banned from staying in the hotel?
What if the coach was female?

Quite! My DC both play rugby and mums are just as welcome on the tours. This rule is just stupid.

This is all just for the dads benefit. They want to go off on tour and get tanked up without any pesky wives around. No more, no less.

Absolutely terrible but the way it’s always been with rugby as I understand it.

Lots of clubs require parents to attend and retain legal responsibility. This brings the cost of tours down considerably

If the coach was of a different sex to the team, it is likely that they either wouldn't have such a tour which would also be fine, or they'd do it where the coach was the only person who didn't fit that agenda but it was still for say, boys from the team and their dads/male supporters to go and socialise with the team (including the female coach)

No it wouldn’t be ok.

This seems to relate to not liking specific individuals rather than there being a sex specific reason for excluding one sex on mass.

If I was 13 and my parents wanted to come away on tour with me (and they weren’t part of the coaching team), I would have died of embarrassment.

I don't think they are banned from games in the tour as supporters. But the tour is likely far from home so not somewhere people are likely to travel to just to watch a single game. I think theyre banned from staying in the hotel or whatever with the team.

What of the coach was female?

I can. There is a mum in my son's team who I definitely wouldn't to be away with him in certain tour like situations. Especially as he gets towards his later teens and especially if she has had a few bevvies.

Equally, I can think of a thousand dads I wouldnt want away in a hotel with a girls' sports team.

I also generally think a time away for males or females of various ages is a great idea.

If this is the same group where the coaches have already shown a complete disregard for basic safeguarding with the WhatsApp group then there is not a hope in hell my child would be going on a trip with them.

Why on earth is your child still part of the club?

When are people actually going to take safeguarding seriously? You were told numerous times on the WhatsApp thread about how many different safeguarding rules were being breached.

on what gronds and as I asked before most of the girls and women's teams have male coaches so what would they do.

And god forbid that the boys team might actually have a female coach!!

In reality the majority of girl's sports teams from grass roots to pro have male coaches.

@JadeSquid

So what do they do? Only female coaches allowed.

You haven't actually given any good reason to stop mums SUPPORTING and going on the tour.