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AIBU?

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MIL not sleeping over our house being too cold

360 replies

lilseb · 07/11/2025 23:45

We have a 5mo baby. We've just moved into our property which has an EPC C and insulated/double glazing, but since the weather's turned cold we've found our bedroom is far too cold, unsure why and we want to get a specialist in. We are a bit sparse with heating but we put it on morning and evening to heat house up to 16c, we top up in the day if its especially cold and use heaters/fireplace in certain rooms we use more so they're warmer than the 16c (including said bedroom but this was not effective). The rest of the house is fine except this one room. Me and baby are now sleeping in spare room which is much warmer. Baby is in recommended vest sleepsuit and 2.5-3.5 tog sleeping bag for the weather.

MIL is convinced the issue is we don't put the heating on enough and having arguments with my husband about it. She's said its not good enough that we're using our dyson for heating or that me and baby have switched room and we need to have the heating on more, and she thinks 16c is too cold. She has told me and my husband separately that she is so worried about our house she's not sleeping, citing worries for my husband's asthma and our child's health. The latter has upset me because I'm trying to follow the recommended advice for temperature and I wouldn't risk my child's welfare. Husband says I'm being over sensitive, and I know she probably doesn't mean to imply it, but I do think she should be thinking through what she says.

Husband is a tightarse and I frequently ignore his moaning and switch heating on anyway - however we both feel that the issue with the bedroom is not the heating, and that we think 16c is a reasonable temperature that will keep us healthy and should keep house in good condition. I don't know if I get especially warm but I woke up last night feeling too hot and room temperature was 17c. My husband similarly is ok with cooler temperatures.

My view is its our house and our baby and MIL has said her piece so now needs to reign it in. AIBU? I know she's grandmother and I can't stop her worrying but we're already navigating a new house and new baby and could do without her rattling me. I had a conversation with her earlier which was pleasant and constructive enough and I'm hoping will nip some of this in the bud, but I don't know whether to be tougher if there's a next time.

OP posts:
RealChristmasBaby · 07/11/2025 23:53

I just googled and it says a home with a new baby in should be between 16-20 degrees. You are right at the bottom of that scale. I can see why your MIL has concerns, I'm sure she's just trying to help.

AffIt · 07/11/2025 23:53

16 degrees? Bloody hell - we 'run hot' and even we keep our house at 18 degrees for comfort for ourselves, closer to 20-22 for guests, especially older people.

That's too cold, especially at this time of year when it tends to be damp as well as cold.

MadameSzyszkoBohusz · 07/11/2025 23:52

It’s too cold, your MIL is right.

Imisscoffee2021 · 07/11/2025 23:52

16 degrees is in the lower end of comfortable and is within the range of too cold for some people.

However if you're heating the rooms the baby is using with added heaters then it should be fine. I live in a bloody freezing stone house that had the fire removed (renting so can't reinstate) and this kind of 1800s solid stone house really really needs a fire at its heart to warm the stones and air gaps. It's been a challenge to keep it warm enough for our baby and now toddler and cost us a small fortune to heat as its gas tank, and my mum also find it freezing cold when she visits but with heaters in the rooms we use it's fine. We do try and keep the kiddos room at 20 degrees though as it's a good comfort level so have the radiators come on twice at night for short bursts in autumn and winter.

If your little one doesn't have cold hands and feet and is sleeping well though sounds fine. Older visitors like your mum just need a warm fleece hoodie and slippers!

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 07/11/2025 23:51

Crossornot · 07/11/2025 23:50

16 degrees is freezing. You’re being ridiculously tight. Put the heating on.

Actually, this!

You might as well not put it on at all.
🤣

PashaMinaMio · 07/11/2025 23:51

When I was a kid, we would wake in the morning to find frost in the inside of the window panes.
My parents used paraffin heaters and a gas fire in the sitting room to keep the house warm!
We grew up healthy. So long as baby is warmly wrapped & regularly checked, your little family will be fine.
Tell MIL to “but out” !!

Crossornot · 07/11/2025 23:50

16 degrees is freezing. You’re being ridiculously tight. Put the heating on.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 07/11/2025 23:49

16 degrees?
Are you serious?
Mine is on at 24 most of the time, and boosted to 30 occasionally for short bursts.

LimeShaker · 07/11/2025 23:48

I think 16 is considered cold and 18 is seen as comfortable - maybe wrong but I would find 16 cold and preference would be around 21 but everyone is different

Questionablmouse · 07/11/2025 23:48

16c is quite cool. I don't think it's a comfortable temp for a lot of people and may not be warm enough to keep your home damp free, particularly if there's limited ventilation.

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