Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MIL not sleeping over our house being too cold

360 replies

lilseb · 07/11/2025 23:45

We have a 5mo baby. We've just moved into our property which has an EPC C and insulated/double glazing, but since the weather's turned cold we've found our bedroom is far too cold, unsure why and we want to get a specialist in. We are a bit sparse with heating but we put it on morning and evening to heat house up to 16c, we top up in the day if its especially cold and use heaters/fireplace in certain rooms we use more so they're warmer than the 16c (including said bedroom but this was not effective). The rest of the house is fine except this one room. Me and baby are now sleeping in spare room which is much warmer. Baby is in recommended vest sleepsuit and 2.5-3.5 tog sleeping bag for the weather.

MIL is convinced the issue is we don't put the heating on enough and having arguments with my husband about it. She's said its not good enough that we're using our dyson for heating or that me and baby have switched room and we need to have the heating on more, and she thinks 16c is too cold. She has told me and my husband separately that she is so worried about our house she's not sleeping, citing worries for my husband's asthma and our child's health. The latter has upset me because I'm trying to follow the recommended advice for temperature and I wouldn't risk my child's welfare. Husband says I'm being over sensitive, and I know she probably doesn't mean to imply it, but I do think she should be thinking through what she says.

Husband is a tightarse and I frequently ignore his moaning and switch heating on anyway - however we both feel that the issue with the bedroom is not the heating, and that we think 16c is a reasonable temperature that will keep us healthy and should keep house in good condition. I don't know if I get especially warm but I woke up last night feeling too hot and room temperature was 17c. My husband similarly is ok with cooler temperatures.

My view is its our house and our baby and MIL has said her piece so now needs to reign it in. AIBU? I know she's grandmother and I can't stop her worrying but we're already navigating a new house and new baby and could do without her rattling me. I had a conversation with her earlier which was pleasant and constructive enough and I'm hoping will nip some of this in the bud, but I don't know whether to be tougher if there's a next time.

OP posts:
herbalteabag · 08/11/2025 01:35

For a five month old baby I'd probably have it a bit warmer. We've always lived in old houses that don't retain heat though and I do remember when we had to keep the heating on 24/7 for 2 or 3 weeks during a cold snap with a young baby to achieve this!
Now I like a cold bedroom, I can't sleep if I'm even a little bit too hot. I sleep with the windows open all year round and don't like any stuffiness. Other peoples houses are usually far too hot for me!

researchers3 · 08/11/2025 01:33

16 is freezing. Im cold when mine is 19.

Way too cold for your baby too. I'd not have it lower than 18.

Franjipanl8r · 08/11/2025 01:32

19-21 C is what heating engineers use as a “comfortable” temperature to design heating systems to. If your thermostat is running at 16 C, that’s not what your system has been designed for.

Comfortable healthy indoor environments for children and babies are warm with a constant supply of fresh air. So your windows should have trickle vents that should be open year round to refresh the air and stop it getting stale too (in addition to upping your thermostat).

UniqueLemonFawn · 08/11/2025 01:31

Going against the grain here. We use Groeggs to monitor the temperature, anything below 16 the egg would be blue indicating too cold, 16-20 the egg would be orange which is ideal, above 20 the egg would be red indicating it’s too hot! My bedroom is currently 17 degrees and I can confirm my newborn is fine she hasn’t turned into a block of ice.

The Lullaby Trust recommends room temperature for babies is 16-20°C so that they don’t get too hot. Not sure where previous posters are getting 22 degrees from! I accidentally let our toddlers room reach 22 degrees the other day when the weather was milder and she woke up drenched in sweat!

As long as you’re dressing your child in the appropriate layers and sleeping bag tog for the temperature they will be fine, and in the daytime they can just wear a jumper. People who heat their houses to 30 degrees must be walking round in their underwear!

Samethingtwice · 08/11/2025 01:31

That’s really too cold especially during the day OP. You don’t want to keep him bundled up doing tummy time and crawling on the floor. It will be even colder on the floor…

sunshinestar1986 · 08/11/2025 01:30

I would've thought 18 minimum with a couple of hours of 20 here and there.
What does 16 actually do?
That's so cold, the very air is too cold at 16, 18 is the very minimum.

AgnesMcDoo · 08/11/2025 01:21

I wouldn’t want to visit your house either. 16C is cold. And not good for a baby.

Newmeagain · 08/11/2025 01:19

you do realise that gas central heating is a lot cheaper than using an electric heater??

and yes, 16 degrees is too cold. Just turning it it up to 18 will make a big difference.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 08/11/2025 01:17

Ours is on at 22.

I wouldn’t be visiting yours.

Milosc · 08/11/2025 01:15

The recommended sleeping temperature of a room for a baby is 20-22 degrees. You are being massively unreasonable as babies cannot regulate their body temperature and you are causing your baby to be unreasonable cold which is very unhealthy. Your child cannot speak for themselves to tell you they are cold. Stop being tight and turn on the heat.

RisingSunn · 08/11/2025 01:09

16 degrees is uncomfortably cool.
The minimum to feel comfortable (for me) is 18/19 degrees.

I'm sorry - but yes the house is too cold.

MysteryNameChange · 08/11/2025 01:03

I'm team 16 degrees. Another poster saying they wear a coat out when it's 16 degrees outside? 16 degrees is t shirt weather.

VikaOlson · 08/11/2025 01:02

I'm a childminder and we're recommended to keep temperatures at a minimum of 18c with babies and small children. I think 16-17 is ok overnight if you are wrapped up warm though.

JoanThursday · 08/11/2025 00:57

Putting baby and appropriate temps to one side for a moment. Friends of ours had a similar issue and, like you, they run a colder house. They brought the specialists in and the key advice they were given was to heat the house to a more consistent higher temperature. One side of the house was becoming prone to damp because of the lower temps.

mondaytosunday · 08/11/2025 00:52

I don’t understand the thought behind putting the testing on at 16 then using space heaters - they will cost you more. I have my heat set at 18 but I like a cold bedroom so just have the radiator off in there, as well as the spare room. It’s on all day but it fires up if the temp drops below 18. At night I put my living room gas fire on as I love the look of it.
I’d far rather be comfortable than save a couple quid.
Have you checked the radiator in your room? Maybe it needs bleeding.

Silvercoconut · 08/11/2025 00:52

Just checked the temperature in my bedroom - it's 15°. It's fine for me, I grew up in a freezing house so I'm used to it. I'm comfortable!
Stuffy hot houses are a nightmare for me, same as hot cars, but I think 16 degrees is too cool for a baby for sure.

hellywelly3 · 08/11/2025 00:46

If you’re putting the heating on just in the morning and evening to get the house to 16, how cold is it when the heating isn’t on?
16 is too cold. Have it on constant 18 with a baby in the house. You can’t be tight with keeping a baby warm.

User5306921 · 08/11/2025 00:45

lilseb · 08/11/2025 00:18

I can't edit my post for some reason but want to clarify

  1. it's not up to 16c - that was a mistype , it's from 16c - if it drops below we put it up. But we are between 16 - 18c without heaters which I'm guessing is too low for most anyway
  2. MIL is not in the property, she's just hearing about it from husband

Anyway, I'm getting a sense of where people are...

The property is your HOME. You and your baby's home.
You live in a damp and cold country. Put on the bloody heating and stop making excuses.

Daschund1 · 08/11/2025 00:44

Another to add to the chorus...that's freezing. I'd have to be wearing my coat to be able to sit in your home. Our thermostat is set at 21⁰.

NuffSaidSam · 08/11/2025 00:40

I think it's a false economy to pay a heating expert to come in and explain that your bedroom is cold because you're heating isn't on high enough. Just put the heating up! It'll cost more, but you'll save what you would have spent on the heating expert.

(Do make sure that your radiator in the bedroom is on and has been bled).

zazazaaarmm · 08/11/2025 00:40

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 07/11/2025 23:49

16 degrees?
Are you serious?
Mine is on at 24 most of the time, and boosted to 30 occasionally for short bursts.

I was going to tell the OP she is being reasonable but I'm afraid you just nlew her out the water. 24 is hideous. 30 is indescribably ridiculous.

NDanyone · 08/11/2025 00:40

I had temp control up to 20c today. 16 is too cold . Grandson aged 7 months would be miserable. Get that heating on !

GinaandGin · 08/11/2025 00:37

youalright · 08/11/2025 00:03

What are you doing pissing about with all these heaters and fires and getting workmen round to see why your house is cold put the bloody heating on and at a normal temperature like 20. It sound miserable thats not a home.

This .... as my mum would say "penny wise pound foolish "
Won't put the heating on but forking out for heaters and work men

GinaandGin · 08/11/2025 00:34

Your tight arse husband is the issue not MIL.

QuickPeachPoet · 08/11/2025 00:34

I'd love it. I hate stuffy houses, especially bedrooms