MIL not sleeping over our house being too cold

@GettingbysomehowMy Mum grew up like that as my grandparents’ house had no heating. She’s 81 now with Rhuematoid arthritis. She said it was a thoroughly miserable way to live. Why would you willingly inflict that upon a harmless baby when you’ve got central heating?! It’s like saying “when we grew up we had toilets outside so I refuse to use the inside toilet” 🙄

What did we do in the 60s, 70s and 80s then in fact for centuries before heating was invented? I remember being a small child on my grandparents farm where I spent my early years, there was no central heating at all and there was ice on the inside of the single glazed windows in the morning. It was absolutely arctic, there was only a coal fire in the living room and that's it. We just bundled up.
I lived in a house with no heating upstairs when I had DS in the 80s. We had an electric heater which was put on when changing his nappy and getting him dressed and again no double glazing. This was rural Bedfordshire. If it snowed I dragged a mattress downstairs into the dining room which did have a radiator and we slept in there.
Many people lived like this in the countryside. 16 degrees would have been luxury. Even when we subsequently moved to London in the late 60s there was no proper heating, single glazed windows and also rats. You just got used to it.
I never have the heating on at night now, I'd never sleep. It would make me ill.

16 degrees overnight is easily warm enough. The weather is positively balmy for the time of year. It's not cold yet.

Your MIL is being ridiculous. If your baby was cold, she would wake and cry, but she's wearing a babygro, vest and a sleep bag. She's fine.
During the day (when not in her sleep bag) 18 degrees would be better but millions of us grew up in much colder houses and are healthy.

As for the house, is the cold bedroom on the north side of the house? Have you checked loft insulation is adequate? Have you checked gutters are clear and not making the walls damp?

This seems rather ott - it’s still so mild outside, it isn’t remotely frosty at all.
i don’t personally have central heating, but wasn’t brought up with it either (frost on the inside of bedroom windows and awful storage heaters) - we do, however have great insulation and plenty of blankets and layers - never a problem for DD as a baby, toddler or now

We go for 18 at night and 20-21 during the day. 16 is definitely too cold imo

Also how do you think people manage in the summer. It gets plenty above 20 degrees and babies don’t start dropping dead.

My wife kicks off with me if our home is under 20c because of her asthma. Set it to 18c at night.

May be a stupid question but are you using the thermostat as youve said, if it goes below 16c you put it on....sounds like you are doing it manually, how do you know its below 16c?. Houses lose heat no matter how insulated they are.

And having heating on a low constant i.e. 17.5 is cheaper than boosting twice a day. Your house is cooling down and it needs to work harder to get back up to temperature.

Tight arse DH needs to be putting his child above a couple of pounds!!!

She needs to keep her nose out, your house = your rules. I have noticed the older generation fixate about the heat and seen to want to over dress babies / children. There is no need typically

@lilseb it really isn’t that cold yet - for such a thick sleep sack! What are you planning on doing in the winter? My LO is still in a 1tog with baby grow and vest. I will move to thicker sacks as the temperature drop through winter. Our room is normally between 19-21. We have a toddler who also who sleeps perfectly well in his own room at the same temperature. Some questions to consider…

How is your baby sleeping? Are they waking regularly or want to sleep on you for warmth?

If you have moved rooms now at the end of autumn how do you plan on getting through the real cold in winter?

When winter comes how will you keep your baby warm if they already use such a thick sleep sack?

I don’t think you’re harming your baby. I think you’re making your life unnecessary difficult. Maybe because you’re anxious of your baby overheating.

Put the heating up. You have a small baby. Your MIL is right.

I would get a second thermometer to check the heat

Thermostats can be out..

I would go for mid range in winter - it suggests that you add extra layers to stay warm.

Well...yes that's what I was saying?

I think you need to out the heating up a couple of degrees. You seem very concerned about overheating but in huge parts of the world, babies are fine in places when 20 degrees would be a midwinter night. My 3 babies were fine through summers where there were several weeks of temperatures not dropping below 30 degrees at night, and 40 degrees in the day.

Why would you argue against your mil if you have to argue with dh over turning the heating on? And why is it going on that low? Would you not go 17 or 18?

16-20 is recommended by pretty much everywhere
at 16c I’m in a t shirt outside and comfortable inside, I don’t think I’ve ever had my heating above 18c

You get a grip.

People can have their heating however they want. It’s up to them not you.

That's still absolutely boiling.

I like a cool house, I have it at 18 for a few hours morning and evening and 16.5 in the rest of the day, off midnight till 7 am. But when I have visitors I put it up to 19 because I know other people like it warmer. My bedroom is about 15 at the moment which is perfect.

But if I had a small baby I'd keep the house at at least 18 or 19 all day long, 16 is too cool.

Absolutely…a dehumidifier is reasonably inexpensive to run and the difference it makes in heating the room as well as drawing off moisture (obviously) is incredible. I have one downstairs and one upstairs and wouldn’t be without them.
Just to add, I’m in Scotland and it can get really cold from Nov through to March.
My heating is on at 24 during the day at 18 at night and I still have to switch on the living flame gas fire in the late evenings.

That’s fucking freezing!! At that temp, my nose is constantly dripping and I’m in a coat. And not visiting you again. Where are you reading you’re supposed to have a baby in a room that cold? It’s not going to kill them
obviously if they are in layers but that’s bloody miserable.

Cannot imagine deliberately heating my house to 20°c let alone higher. It feels stuffy & the kids (teens) complain too. Currently 18 in the living room with no heating on or set to come on. 18yo was sat in here earlier with his shirt off watching TV 🤷🏼‍♀️.

That said! It's just how we are, not tightness or anything. We'd all just rather cooler air & snuggly blankets.

OP - your set up sounds fine but I also don't blame MIL, necessarily, cos her comfort levels are obviously different & she's just worried about her grandchild. As is often the case, here especially, ppl are incapable of understanding that everyone is different.

(also - lot of ppl need to check their attitudes & their privilege at running houses at a minimum of 20°c & declaring any house less than that to be uninhabitable. Get a grip)

18 is too cold, way way too cold.

Your MIL is right, put the heating on.

16 is really cold in my opinion.

I'm with MIL. Our overnight temperature is set to 17 (no babies in our house), daytime 19-20 (21 if really cold outside as it needs the boost). 16 during the day is cold.

I’ve said 19 C - 21 C for the daytime but the evening can be cooler. We don’t have our heating on at all at night and sleep with the windows slightly open for lots of fresh air. It’s the 16 C daytime thermostat that’s miserly.